


The Devil's Syndicate (Tom Ellis x OC)

by MiyakoNanashi



Category: Actor RPF, Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Reality, Alternate Universe - Gangsters, Alternative Universe - FBI, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Deal with a Devil, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Gangsters, Hurt/Comfort, I Blame Tumblr, I Tried, I Will Go Down With This Ship, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Going to Hell, Mild Smut, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Other, RPF, Shooting Guns, Tags Are Hard, There's A Tag For That, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:01:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 44
Words: 69,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26101594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiyakoNanashi/pseuds/MiyakoNanashi
Summary: What if Tom Ellis had a bad side? A side that nobody knows? And not just like as in his famous role of Lucifer Morningstar?"People think of me as a good guy, I sincerely wish I had the opportunity to show another side of me. Not just on TV.""Excuse me, what other side do you mean exactly?""A dirty, bad side. I want to do something else. I want to be someone else like my character Lucifer is."And what happens if a woman suddenly crashes into that hell of a chaos?"Of course, Tom and I belong to two completely different worlds of human beings. The odds of him falling in love with me are 0,1%."A/N: POSSIBLE GRAMMATICAL ERRORS~[STORY - 2020] - WATTPAD
Relationships: Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)/Original Character(s), Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)/Original Female Character(s), Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV)/Reader, Tom Ellis/Original Female Character(s), Tom Ellis/Other(s), Tom Ellis/Reader
Comments: 38
Kudos: 21





	1. Prologue

"People think of me as a good guy, I sincerely wish I had the opportunity to show another side of me. Not just on TV."

"Excuse me, what other side do you mean exactly?"

"A dirty, bad side. I want to do something else. I want to be someone else like my character Lucifer is."

I read the last interview Tom Ellis was in and was wondering if he really meant it, if he really made up his mind to change his image. But I shook my head as I read on, not thinking about if it could be possible, as I walk the streets of New York. Yet I kept my eyes on the magazine, without even bothering to look where I put my feet. At the end of the interview there was a photo of him. Yes, he is simply magnificent. I sighed and closed the magazine with a sudden gesture, then putting it back in my bag. I have liked that man for years and also kinda known him for years too. Unfortunately he and my brother are best friends. And I say that it is called 'unfortunately' because if I wouldn't be living here since those years ago I wouldn't be in this state: Which is being head over heels in love with that actor. And I only came here because of and for my brother.  
I remember Christmas a couple of years ago when I was actually so shameless and a bit drunk that I tried to give him a kiss... You can't even imagine how embarrassing that situation was.

"No, Kate... I can't, remember? And then you're only like a sister to me, you should know that."

I remember those words of him as if he had said them to me yesterday. I'm not his sister, damn it! When I heard of his separation, I can't deny having rejoiced even though I knew that things between me and him couldn't change. I guess Tom has always known about my feelings for him. And on the other hand it is impossible not to notice it if I'm being honest. Of course, Tom and I belong to two completely different worlds of human beings. The odds of him falling in love with me are 0,1%. But I am happy to be friends with him, to talk to him sometimes, to be close to him. Although not in the way I would like.

Before returning to my own apartment, I spent some time with my parents. My mother told me the umpteenth time to remember to go and see them. But with work and other things, I never really have time to do it.

"You finally decided to show yourself again!", she said and I hugged her, putting a kiss on her cheek.

"But Mom, it's only been three weeks since the last time. Why do you have to be so melodramatic, I'll never understand it!"

"Yes, but you're always leaving way too early! Quite the opposite of your brother!"

"My brother practically lives here...", I pointed out.

No, I don't hate him. It's just that I hold him responsible for my broken heart. That's all. I know it sounds stupid but he shouldn't have urged me to live here.

"Anyway, your brother will bring a guest to dinner tomorrow night. And you are obviously invited."

"A guest? And who?"

"It's a surprise."

"Well okay then."

"What about you, honey? Don't you have any boyfriend to introduce us to?"

"A boyfriend, you say?"

"Yes!"

"No, I don't."

Period. I hated situations like these...

"You know, the other time your father and I were discussing the matter and we thought that-..."

"No, Mom. I'm not a lesbian.", I suddenly burst out laughing, cutting her off.

"Yet it was one of the options."

"And no, I don't want to be a nun."

"Yes, it was the other option. But... Why can't you find a nice guy? You're such a nice and beautiful woman!"

Maybe just because the man I want, does not want me?

"It is difficult to find a serious man these days. Things have changed."

"I remember when you were crazy about the best friend of your brother. Do you remember?"

"Oh... Yeah, I vaguely remember.", I answered. Vaguely. Sure...

When I got back to my apartment, I barely had time to place my bag on the couch, when I immediately heard the ringtone from my mobile phone. And I noted with immense amazement that it was Tom Ellis himself.

"Hey! Tom, how are you?"

"Well, fine I guess. And you, any news? Did they already accept you in the convent?"

"Idiot. Why do you all think that? Everyone does!", I simply answered, smiling while I heard him laughing as usual.

"Why? Probably because you almost look like it? Oh come on, don't take it too seriously... You know me, don't you?"

"True but changing the subject, won't you come to New York for the holidays?"

"Let's say... I am already there."

"Oh... Wow. What a surprise!"

He laughed again.  
"Yes. I guess I'll see you tomorrow night at your parents' house then."

"So you're the surprise guest! I should've guessed it."

"Were you hoping it was someone else?"

I sigh and close my eyes, waiting. I didn't really know what to answer until I heard a whispering voice in the background.

"I know... I know.", Tom said, but probably not to me. But the tone of his voice was incredibly sexy.

"Kate? I have to go now. See you tomorrow night, okay?"

"Okay Tom... See you tomorrow."

Damn it... That made me even more nervous! I could only hope that the dinner would run smoothly...


	2. Chapter 1

"This must be Tom! Why don't you go and open the door?", my mother asked when the door bell rang.  
  
"Alright then.", I snorted, but in the end I do as she told me. Why do I have to welcome him?

I open the door and I find a huge bouquet of roses in front of me, while the man seems to be amazed to see me.  
  
"Hi, Tom."  
  
"Kate? Hey. But how long have we not seen each other?"  
  
He approaches and immediately draws me to himself, with the excuse of giving me a hug. I try to control myself, even if I don't understand why I don't decide to just let go. Luckily the bunch of roses were keeping us apart.   
Tom smiled strangely, to say the least, and unexpectedly approaches to kiss me on the corner of my mouth. I am stunned. He had never dared so much.  
  
"I'm glad to still have that effect on you."  
  
And like every time, I remain silent. I can't react. I am completely at the mercy of him, and he knows that well. Luckily my mother arrived to save me from that situation.  
The dinner was quiet, fortunately. Even if from time to time, that overwhelming actor gives me strange looks. Maybe he wants this to go wrong?  
  
"You know, Tom... Kate wants to be in the police one day, she's learning hard.", my mother suddenly started.  
  
"Oh really? That's gonna be hard, but she'll make it."  
  
She nods proudly: "Yes. At the moment she got a mini job."  
  
"My compliments. And what's your job?"  
  
I clear my throat, caught off guard: "I work in a bar near where I live."  
  
“I'll come to see you then. But... Where do you live?"  
  
"It's a very quiet neighborhood.", my mother immediately says and finally told him where it was.  
  
"Oh what a coincidence, I rented an apartment right there."  
  
I started to cough and got up from the table. My mother immediately comes to meet me, offering me a glass of water while I still had the man's eyes on me.  
  
"How long do you want to stay?", my mother asked, not worried about me at all.  
  
"For a long time. After Christmas I have to film a new movie. We will see each other more often."  
  
That was ist like a punch in my face. I need to be alone for a few minutes, apologized to everyone, rushed to the bathroom and immediately called my best friend, she knows the situation.  
  
"Hey, I need to talk to you!"  
  
"Don't tell me it is about Tom?", she asks, as if she already understood everything.  
  
"Yes. He is here. My parents invited him to dinner. And in addition, I just learned that he will stay here for a while."  
  
"So what?"  
  
"You know! I'm a fucking mess?"  
  
"Look, drink some tea and relax, okay? I'm not your therapist, okay? I really can't help you with that."  
  
"Then give me some magic potion to get it out of my head or stuff like that.", I pleaded.  
  
"Kate? I'm not a witch! Oh hell, you will make things worse than they really are! Enough, forget it! Do you think there may be even a chance with him?"  
  
"0,1%"  
  
"I would take the number one away."  
  
"Thanks, you are really comforting."  
  
"I say it for you, you fool. Go find a normal boy. Since we are friends, you have been talking to me about him all the damn time. Tom here, Tom there... I can't wait for the messages you'll send me when he's going to the toilet."  
  
"That's not true..."  
  
"Yes, it is true! You totally depend on that man."  
  
"Well, maybe you're right."  
  
"Good. And now, please... I am still at work."  
  
"Let me guess... Studying?"  
  
"Exactly!"  
  
"Well... Good luck then?"  
  
"See you."  
  
A classic phone call between us.  
And now I had to go back to them.  
I no longer touched the food, pretending to have stomach pain. In fact, it is Tom's presence that makes me lose my appetite. And not to mention the constant embarrassing jokes that my mother is making of me. For example she told him about, when I was young, I only became red as soon as they pronounced his name.  
  
"We are so proud of our daughter.", my mother added: "And we would be even happier if she found a boyfriend."  
  
"Mom!"  
  
"What's wrong? I didn't say anything bad."

I turned absently towards Tom. He seemed very amused. I was definitely hypnotized while looking at him. And as if he realized it he started running his tongue over his lips.   
  
"Okay guys, it's late. Tomorrow I have a lesson, I have to get up early."  
Getting up I finally said goodbye to everyone.  
  
"Yes, I am busy tomorrow too. I thank you for the excellent dinner."  
  
"Honey, it's not worth it to call a taxi.", my mother then said to me: "I mean, Tom lives in your own neighborhood. He can give you a ride."  
  
Now I was about kill my mother.  
  
"Yes, Kate. You can come with me, there is no problem."  
  
As soon as the two of us got in the car, silence fell between us. We have to be together for half an hour... And no, I didn't think of an excuse and only said okay. I know that was stupid...  
  
"I read your last interview.", I finally said to melt the ice.  
  
"Oh really? Which one?"  
  
"The one where you said you wanted to show others another side of you..."  
  
He showed me a quick and intense glance.  
"Yes, that's what I will do."  
  
"What do you mean by dirty and bad side?"  
  
"Kate... Are you for real? You know what I'm talking about."  
  
"If you think so."  
  
Silence.  
  
Then he smiled mischievously: "Do you think you know everything about me?"  
  
"I think so, maybe."  
  
"Why don't you have a boyfriend?"  
  
"Why are you asking me this question?"  
  
Before he could answer me, we hear the ringtone of a mobile phone. It must be his.  
  
"Hey, yes, I called you in the afternoon. What are you doing? Do you wanna come over? Okay then, see you later."  
  
He ended the call while I continued to watch him in disbelief.  
  
"What's up?"  
  
"Who was that?"  
  
“A friend. Why?"  
  
"A friend? In what sense?"  
  
"In the sense that I do things... Business and stuff."  
  
"Oh... Excellent."  
  
We were now standing in front of a traffic light. Tom suddenly turned around to look at me amused, running his eyes all over my body. I shivered several times, and he saw it. And then he was looking at a fixed point, my legs.  
  
"You are a virgin."  
  
"What?", I replied, stunned by what he just said.  
  
"I can recognize a virgin from one who is not.", he smiled satisfied.   
  
He looked up and straight into my eyes. He's serious, he's not smiling. Unexpectedly I felt his hand on my leg. So I looked down, completely dazed as he brought his face close to mine.  
  
"And what if I would put my hand a little bit higher? What do you think would happen?"  
  
I swallowed as hard as never before and squeezed my legs together tightly. I couldn't react, so I remained silent while his hand got closer and closer and I felt like I'm dying.  
  
"Don't you see what you are missing?"  
  
His hand was motionless now but my legs were shaking.  
At that point we heard the horn of a car behind ours.

"Too bad."  
  
I finally opened my eyes and started breathing again. What the hell was I doing? A few minutes ago I was letting myself be caressed by him... I had to say no to him. Yes, but how can I resist?  
  
"It's that building over there.", I said as soon as I realized that we've already arrived.  
  
"What a coincidence. Mine is the other one."

The actor stopped the car. Immediately I saw a woman coming over to meet us.  
  
"Tom!", she exclaimed happily.  
  
The man got out of the car and I did the same.  
They greet each other with a kiss on the lips while I stand watching them with envy.  
  
“Take the keys. Get ready, okay? I will join you soon."  
  
The woman nods and, after giving me a disgusted look, enters the building on the other side.

"Do you want a cigarette?"  
  
"Actually yes but also no. I prefer to go to sleep. I've seen... Enough."  
  
"Can I please know what's wrong with you?", he asked a little annoyed.  
  
"Nothing. It's just... I never imagined this. Well, do you mind if I leave? I'm tired."  
  
Tom said nothing. He just looked at me as he continued to hold the cigarette in his mouth.  
  
"No, you're not tired, you're just annoyed."  
  
"Yes, too. So? Can I go?"  
  
Now he was approaching. He looked at me from head to toe with that absurd but cool atmosphere amd tried to stay calm.  
  
"I know you're in love with me."  
  
My heart skipped a beat.  
"I... What?", I asked stammering.  
  
"No need to lie about it."  
  
"Stop that! I'm not... I'm not in love with you, okay?"  
  
“I remember the evening you tried to kiss me. I haven't lost my memory, you know?"  
  
"I was drunk."  
  
"Yes, alcohol gave you courage. But you wanted that kiss, don't deny it. But you told me that you couldn't."  
  
"True."  
  
"And why?"  
  
I think I displaced him, because I saw him shrug and throw the cigarette on the ground.  
  
"Simply because I don't like you. You're not my type and you're really an asshole."

I turned my back on him and started to leave.  
  
"Don't be like that! You liked it first, didn't you? Take it as my Christmas present."  
  
"Fuck you!"  
  
I got into the house and slammed the door. And that would be the man I've been irreversibly in love with for years?


	3. Chapter 2

The next day, at breakfast, I was thinking back about everything that happened the night before. That was not the Tom I know at all and I'm in love with. He seemed like a completely different person. Or maybe I never really knew him. And while I was thinking of all these things, I see my best friend sitting in front of me.

"Good morning, slept well?"

I stared at her for a few seconds, looking quizzically.  
She continued to eat undisturbed, while I remained with my coffee in my hands continuing to look at her. I don't even know whether to talk to her about what happened with Tom or not. But to tell the truth, perhaps it is better that I don't talk about it with anyone. I should probably better forget it all and move on.

"I'm going to class, otherwise I'm late and that's definitely not a good start for working in the police.", I finally said, getting up.

"See you at lunch then?", she asked, speaking with her mouth full.

"Of course, see you later!"

I checked if I have everything I need and, after having fixed my hair, I went out of the house.  
As soon as I stepped outside the building, in front of me, I saw Tom's car.  
About fifteen minutes later I was finally near the police school, waiting for the traffic light to turn green for us pedestrians, the one that I have to cross every day. The cars dart at an unprecedented speed and here as soon as it turned green I started walking to reach the other side. Suddenly I saw a car coming at full speed right in my direction. After a few seconds I realized that I am still alive and the unbearable sound of the horn brings me back to reality.

"Who the hell gave you your license, you fucking asshole?", I shouted against him in a trembling voice,still in shock.

And my anger was growing dramatically when I realized that the driver of that car was no other than Tom.

"Sorry. I did not mean to scare you. Are you okay?"

"No, I'm fine.", I sighed, clenching my fists.

He did it on purpose, I could swear on that.  
Luckily I managed to get to the faculty safely. I rushed to the third floor in a hurry, running like crazy. That small fright forced me to stop on the way, to try and recover a little. And so I didn't realize it was already late.  
But soon as I entered the room I joyfully noticed that it was still empty.

"Well, thank god that I'm not that late."

After twenty minutes waiting for my colleagues I suddenly got a text message:

'Kate, where did you go? Did you forget that today's lesson is in the lecture hall?'

And yes, I completely forgot it! Damn me.

I rook my bag and phone and rush up the stairs, precisely to the top floor. Unfortunately, the elevator has been broken for a month, so these tiring and infinite steps of the stairs made me feel even more exhausted . As soon as I got to the top I headed straight to the main hall. The door was open. And to make things worse I went in and, in a hurry, I didn't see some wires on the ground. I stumbled and fell down on the floor and of course I hear someone chuckle. It was a figure standing in front of the professor and all my colleagues. But someone kind-hearted, held out his hand to help me get back on my feet.

"Oh, thank you.", I said, grabbing the hand.  
But when I looked up I realized that I have just thanked no one other than Tom.

"You again?"

He laughed at me, as usual.

"Miss Jackson, you know Mr. Ellis?", my professor asked.

"Yes, I know him."

“But that's good! Mr. Ellis will hold some lessons, together with me, on the disciplines of appereance, until the end of this month."

And why didn't I know about it? I am convinced it is a plot against me. And to think that I could have chosen to attend another laboratory for extra credits...

"Miss Kate Jackson and I have been friends for many years, Sir.", he continued.

"I... I'm going to take a seat, if you don't mind.", I said to both, trying to recover from already too many surprises of that day.

"You really know Tom Ellis?", was the first thing the girl next to me asked.

"Yes, I know him, unfortunately."

"That's so cool!"

“Yeah... Let's change the subject, did you know anything about all this? I mean, that he would come?"

"No, the professor had hinted that an actor would come, but we didn't think of someone like him."

"I wonder if he did it on purpose.", I muttered in a low voice.

The lesson begins and Tom, all the time, has done nothing but provoke me with his looks and smiles. Furthermore, most of the girls did nothing but intervene by asking him stupid questions, exclusively to draw attention to them.  
At the end of the lesson I was detained by the professor.

“Miss Jackson, I invited Mr. Ellis to lunch in a local restaurant. Would you be kind enough to come with us?"

"I don't know... I think I should head home. I still don't even understand what HE has to do here anyway."

"If she can't, I can accompany you, professor.", someone behind me intervened.

"No. I... Of course I can come, there is no need for you.", I replied, giving her a hateful smile.

"Both can come, can't they?", Tom proposed, suddenly showing up between us.

It probably would've been better to tell the professor that I couldn't go, now I had to endure a whole lunch with him and Tom.


	4. Chapter 3

During lunch the professor started talking about this and that, while I limited myself to brief nods. After a while I realized that I am the only one to listen to him. Tom occasionally smiled at some of the professor's sad jokes, but I'm ready to swear that something else was happening.

"I'm going to get another bottle of wine, since the waiters don't seem to pass by anymore. I'll be right back.", the professor informed us and left.

"What are you trying to do?", I asked Tom.

"Nothing. I am only bored."

"You're an ass."

"You only say that because you wanted to be in the girl's place yesterday."

“Not even in your dreams! You already made me sick enough last night!"

Tom now showed a serious expression. "Really?"

"Just remain silent, without trying to go after me when this is over."

Finally, lunch was coming to an end, I once again greeted the professor hastily, and then went away from there. I turned around a corner, but a sudden dizziness forced me to stop, so I leaned against the wall.

"Get in the car." I suddenly hear someone say.

I opened my eyes and, the cause of all my anger appeared before me.

"No, forget it."

Without the time to finish the sentence, the actor immediately got out of the car to come and pick me up by force.

"Get in and don't be a kid."

He managed to get me into his car, of course, without my will.

“Maybe I exaggerated a little last night, I admit it. But it was you who provoked me."

"Me? And why?"

“You wanted to know the other side of me, didn't you? I gave you a little taste."

"And being in my class is part of this demonstration?"

"Yes and no. I like it, I told you."

"So you've been lying to everyone for all these years?"

"No. I didn't lie. But I didn't let anyone know about this other side of me."

"Oh, wow. And why showing it then? Why ruin your life only for that? Just because you want to show me that side?"

"Because you are in love with me."

"I am not in love with you! Maybe I had a kind of crush, but we already talked about it a few years ago."

“You were boiling with jealousy. You don't need to hide it, I've known you for years."

"Let me out."

"What?"

"Let me out of the car! I won't be able to stand another second in this car, not with you!"

Tom stopped, but I realized that I couldn't get out.

"Take it easy. Let's talk about."

"No, I don't want to talk about it. You're just selfish."

"Don't tell me you hate me now."

"Almost, you're close to it."

"Hell, it didn't take much time to make you fall out of love with me."

"Wait? What are you saying?"

"Nothing. Get out. You are free to go."

I decided not to ask him any more questions. So I opened the door and walked away, not without being perplexed by what he had said. Was it a plan? Well, I understood it less and less. On that short drive he only managed to confuse me more and more.  
Now I checked my mobile phone and noticed a new message from my best friend.

'But where did you go? I was waiting for you to have lunch.'  


When I got home I hoped with all my heart to find her there reading one of her books. And luckily it was like that.

"Hey, what happened to you? You look exhausted."

“While I was in school this morning, Tom almost hit me with his car. Then, I also found him at the university, in the lesson with the professor. And to make matters worse I was forced to go to lunch with him, the professor."

"Well, holy shit."

"Yes, and that's why I'm exhausted! I would like to forget this day, but I know that it will not help, because I would like to forget every day from yesterday until the end of this month!"

"Are you sure you're feeling well? I mean, you are upset, do you feel like going to work?"

“Yes, I really need it. Tomorrow I will have to suffer the same torture, so I better get used to it."

"Then do you mind if I let my boyfriend come over tonight?"

“No, do what you want."

“Okay, no problem. But you didn't tell me how your dinner went last night?"

"It was okay.", I lied.  
It was not the best time to talk to her about the 'new' Tom I have just met. 

After spending the whole afternoon studying, well, I just asked myself what Tom had meant with that sentence, so I didn't really study, which is bad since in a month there are exams and I know practically nothing. However, I was forced to give up to go to work.


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry that this chapter is so damn short...

"Kate, there's a lot of people tonight, go be ready.," the boss ordered when I arrived.

He is an easygoing guy, and that's one of the reasons I'm still here.  
I immediately head to the first table with the Menu of the evening in hand. "Here gentlemen, choose calmly, I'll come back soon to take your orders."

"Kate?"

"Oh no..."  
I moved my gaze slightly. Of course it was Tom.

"Thanks for the Menu, we will let you know.", the actor continued with his inevitable smile.

I nodded and walked away with the only desire to go home to sleep. But unfortunately I couldn't  
After about twenty minutes I see Tom and another guy sitting at the table, a rather strange man.

"Gentlemen, are the orders ready?", I asked, approaching their table.

"Yes, number three and eleven please."

When I placed the orders I tried to listen to what they said. Hearing the word "drug" I hardly got hit. And of course the other guy noticed it and approached Tom in a lower tone.  
They spend the rest of the night talking. Unfortunately I had to work, but sometimes I glanced at their table.

“Kate, go behind the counter."

I nod and did what my boss told me. As I served the customers, I noticed that Tom was getting up from his seat and was coming towards me.

"All you did was watch us all the time."

"I'm working, I can't look at you. And I don't want."

“However you did, darling. Stop denying everything, it bothers me."

"And you stop talking to me, because THAT bothers me."

"But you answer me therefore... I don't think it annoys you as much as you say."

"Not anymore, my shift is over soon."

Fortunately he left and the night was soon over and I went home.   
When I arrived in front of my house I noticed a figure leaning against the door. And who was it? Of course, him.

"I was waiting for you."

"No, please, I'm tired, I want to go to sleep. I've had enough for today."

"You look pale, do you feel bad?"

He took me by the shoulders forcing me to look him in the eyes.

"Yes, I'm not feeling well.", I sighed and looked down: "What about that guy? Who was he? Okay, I don't care about your fucking business, but it matters to me that you don't throw your life and career away.

"Do you care about me?"

"Yes. That's absurd, isn't it? I should throw up on you instead... I'm a fool to worry about you. The thing is, I heard something about drugs and... I don't know what to think."

Now Tom got serious.  
"Kate... Don't worry, I can take care of myself."

I felt his hand caressing my cheek. And this gesture surprised me like never before. I avoided it almost immediately.

"And again, you're still in love with me."

"Maybe. Maybe it's only a crush."

"I was joking, darling."

He got dangerously close to my face and prints a kiss on my cheek.

"Good night. I hope this little kiss makes you forgive me. For everything I did to you today."

"Maybe."

He smiled at me for one last time, when he walked towards his house, leaving me on the sidewalk, completely paralyzed, and with my hand on my cheek, exactly where he kissed me a few moments before.

I entered the house with a dreamy look, sinking shortly after it into the softness of the mattress and letting myself go to the world of dreams. That world where I could still have my Tom.


	6. Chapter 5

I couldn't understand where I was. I was in a house I've never seen before, without knowing how the hell I got there. Suddenly I found myself in a room with a man in front of me. I saw him from behind, but he had something familiar. I focused better on the figure and I realized that he was naked, with only a towel tied to his waist. He turned around with an amused smile, with that inevitable smile. He looked at me intensely for a time that seems infinite, while I remained completely helpless in front of him. The man brought his hands to the towel and, in a flash, it sliped to the ground at his feet. I held my breath for a moment. He was more and more amused and, confident, approached with small steps.

"Kate...", he whispered in my ear.

"What?", I asked, not understanding.

"I'm going to get you out of bed now."

"What the?"

"Kate wake up, it's late!"

I opened my eyes slowly with a lot of confusion in my head. It was all a dream.

"What were you dreaming about?", my best friend asked.

"Please stop it. Another awakening like that and I'll kill you."

"Sorry if I woke you up. But you know, it's nine o'clock and you should have been in class at eight thirty."

I immediately opened my eyes. I couldn't miss today's lesson, if I do even one absence they won't give me the credits, damn me! I jumped out of bed and immediately ran to the bathroom to get ready in a hurry.

"Anyway, you haven't answered my question yet.", I heard her saying from behind the door.

"What question?"

"That of the dream! What were you dreaming of?"

"Oh, I don't remember, you know?", I lied shamelessly.  
Actually I remembered every detail of that damn dream.

“If so, tell it to someone else. I go to class, otherwise I'm late."

I greeted her, and after it I reflected for a moment on the seriousness of the situation. Of MY psychological situation. But maybe I'd better not think about it, I'd just end up puzzling myself and, unfortunately, I didn't have the time since I'm enormously late.  
I took the bag and, after making sure I have put everything in it, left the house running down the stairs like crazy. I almost collided with an old man, but fortunately I managed to avoid him during it. I left the door of the building and, like the previous morning, I found myself in front of Tom's car. He was leaning against the door while talking to someone. He saw me and focused his gaze on me and, making that smirk, while continuing to look at me. But I turned around and walked towards the university. I just hoped the professor was in a good mood.

"Kate!"

Oh no, it was him. And what did he want now?

"Get in the car, I'll give you a ride."

"No thanks. I prefer to walk."

"But you're late. In fact, we are both."

“I will speak to the professor. I know how to defend myself, don't worry."

“Are you angry with me? I thought it was all cleared up."

"For yesterday evening, for the other evening too, and for all those who will come."

He laughed amused. "Come on, come on. I'll talk to the professor. I know you need those credits."

I stopped with my eyes fixed on him. "You know too many things about me."

And his answer was simply another smile.

"And I won't even ask you how you know all these things because I'm late and I'm not going to waste any more time talking to an asshole like you."

“Wow, you got some balls, darling. I didn't remember you like that."

"Let's say that I too have a side that you don't know. Seen? We're even. Bye, take care of yourself."

I started walking again, but something told me that Tom didn't have the slightest intention to stop with following me.

“Do you want to stop following me? I won't arrive there with you anyway."

"I don't care.", he shrugged.

I snorted and, before the end of the world broke out, I decided to please him and get into his damn car.

"Good girl."

"Don't talk, okay?"

Tom stopped suddenly, almost making me bang my head against the glass. It was him who held me by the arm thus preventing me from smashing my skull. Yet I preferred to avoid insulting him.

"So? What do you propose for a bet?”, he asked me breaking the ice.

"A bet? No, listen, I don't want to place any bets, let alone with you. I already have my problems and I have no intention of creating more."

"Oh, come on. Let's have some fun."

"No, I don't know, I'm sorry."

"As you wish."

"Thank goodness I didn't have breakfast this morning, otherwise I would have vomited in your car."

At that moment, in my head, I remembered the dream I had this morning. I practically dreamed of him. 

“You're lying to yourself, darling."

"How can you know? Are you trying to get into my head now?"

"No.You are impossible to understand. I tried, but I can't.."

"I know, it's impossible to get into my head, asshole."

"Or in your panties."

"Stop that. I can't stand this bullshit."

"Okay, okay. We have arrived. I will spend the lesson analyzing you."

"Do whatever you want, it doesn't matter to me."

Fortunately, Tom thought about inventing an excuse to give to the Professor. He took the blame for my delay, unbelievable. Well, he is Tom Ellis, obviously nobody would have said anything to him. But now I was indebted to him. I hoped he won't ask me one day to return this favor. Knowing him, he will ask me something absurd and unthinkable.

In class I turned to the girl next to me for a moment. And she was staring at him.

"Hey, stop staring, that's embarrassing." I told her.

"What, why should I stop? Look at him, he's beautiful.", she replied with dreamy eyes.

"It's not what it seems, I assure you."

"Oh, but stop it. You haven't even introduced him to me yet. What's up? Do you want to keep him all to yourself?"

I gave up on answering and concentrated on the lesson. I moved my gaze slightly from the Professor to Tom. The actor noticed my gaze and smiled at me as usual.

"Oh god, he's smiling at me!", exclaimed the girl next to me, grabbing me by the arm.

"No. He actually smiled at me."

“You're wrong, Kate. He's staring at me, look. Oh god, does that mean he likes me?"

"I assure you you're wrong."

"Oh, stop it. For once, a cool person is interested in me. Are you envious, by any chance?"

I decided to let it go. After all, it's not her fault, but that of him.

At the end of the lesson I immediately went to the actor to tell him to stop.

"Why are you doing that? Stop with that shit!"

"I don't know, honey. I am like that, what will you do? "

"And don't you feel guilty?"

"No."

At that moment we were interrupted by another person.

"Kate, why don't you introduce me to your friend?"

It's the girl, damn her.

"Yes, Kate, why don't you introduce me to your friend?", Tom replied, watching her carefully.

"Yeah no, you can do that by yourselves."

"You know, before, it seemed to me that I you were smiling at me during the lesson.", she continued, approaching the actor.

She was convinced, there was nothing to do.

"Yes, exactly, I've been watching you for a while."

Sure! What an asshole.

“See, Kate? He wasn't smiling at you."

He laughed when he realized the annoyance I felt about this matter. I decided to let it go and left for my own sake.  
I went home hoping to find the energy to study. Along the way, however, I realized that someone was following me again. I looked around suspicious and, as I imagined, I found myself in front of Tom, in his big car, staring at me as if to keep an eye on me. I decided to retrace my steps to tell him to leave me alone.

“Will you stop following me? You're seriously scaring me."

“Did you forget that we live in the same neighborhood?"

"No, but you are clearly following me!"

"I'm only watching you."

"And why?"

"Because of the dangers you may encounter."

"The only danger here is you."

He only chuckled.  
"Come on I'll give you a ride."

"No, I prefer to walk and you that."

I turned around and went my way. Luckily, Tom didn't insist, he listened to me for the first time in his life. But from time to time I turned around to see if he's still behind me. And I catched him, as always, staring at me, or as he said: Keeping an eye on me. But from what?

After the whole afternoon studying I got ready to go, like every evening of the week, to work. My best friend hasn't come back yet, but I didn't care. She was probably with her boyfriend.   
The evening proceeded perfectly, no famous actors, with girls following, around. Yesterday he made me understand that he wants me to fall out of love with him, and if he continued like this he will soon succeed. But at the same time he kept looking at me, smiling at me, even followed me. What the hell does he want from me? I would just like to be left alone. Okay, he doesn't like me, but I already knew it.

Around eleven I went behind the counter to serve the customers. More than once I made a mistake with the orders, unfortunately I had my head elsewhere.

"Miss, an ice cold beer, thank you."

"Yes, immediately."

I turned around to hand him the beer. "Here you go. Tom?"

It seemed too good to be true. Luckily he had to go somewhere else.

"Don't worry, I came here to speak with a friend."

We were interrupted by the arrival of someone who was not very recommendable looking. As soon as he approached the counter to call Tom, I stayed quiet for a while, staring at him slightly scared. It's not the one from the other night, this one was even more terrifying. They moved away towards one of the free tables. This whole situation seemed absurd to me. What trouble is that asshole getting into? I had to try to get closer to understand what they were saying. So, with the excuse of serving a customer at the table next to them, I stayed longer than necessary to listen to their conversation.

“That is a something of the worst kind, Ellis. You got yourself in trouble."

“I know, you don't need to repeat it to me. I was wrong, but I didn't know... I didn't know who it was."

"I'm trying to help you, but you know what I want in return, don't you?"

“Of course, don't worry. I will help you... I will keep my promise."

"I hope so."

“Good, you'll look over my shoulder and I will know how to return the favor."

After hearing enough, at least for my taste, I went back to work behind the counter. It was almost time to close, the customers were leaving and, exhausted as ever, I headed to the locker room to pick up my coat and bag. My other work colleagues were already gone, I was the only one left, like every evening. Once I put my coat on I went out of the room. There, however, I found myself in front of someone, and I almost screamed.

"Tom, holy shit! Do you want to give me a heart attack?"

"I have a lot of fun with you.", he admitted, laughing.

"But I don't. Who was that guy?"

“A friend."

“What nice friends you have. Really excellent."

"Yes, I'm not complaining.", he continued carelessly, continuing to approach and look at me, as if he was studying me.

"What are you doing? Stop staring at me like that, you're scaring me."

"Don't be."

I was about to leave, however, I was stopped by him, who in the meantime laughed at me, making fun of me. He's squeezing my arm with a little too much force for my taste. Suddenly he made me turn to the lockers scaring me to death.

"Stay quiet.", he whispered in my ear.

"What, why?"

"It's nothing."

My breathing became more and more irregular, I thought that my heart was bursting at any moment because of too fast beats.

"Okay, I understand...Now,could you let me go?", I asked him once and for all.

After a few more seconds I was free, finally letting myself breathe. I should've slapped him, too bad I didn't have the strength. He had taken away all my energy.

"I heard it.", I admitted without looking up from the floor.

"What?", he asked, pretending not to understand.

I shook my head, smiling slightly. "Nothing. Will you take me home?"

"Sure, darling."


	7. Chapter 6

Finally my favorite day arrived: Saturday. No lessons, no early waking up, no evening work, no studying, although I should study, given by my desperate situation.

"Kate, in two weeks it will be Christmas, in the afternoon you absolutely must accompany me to buy some stuff."

"What? Oh yes, Christmas."

"Without Tom Ellis around?"

"Exactly. You don't know what a hellish week I got myself through. In class he tried with to distract me, then he followed me and not to mention the fact that he comes to tell me stupid shit."

"An asshole."

"Yes. He haunts me. I always find him behind me."

"And a Stalker".

"Yes. And he keeps telling me that I'm in love with him. What agony."

"It's the truth."

"Yes. But... Wait, are you kidding me?"

"Yes. Well, no."

"Thanks for your understanding.", I said ironically, getting up from my chair.

"There's nothing else to say."

In the afternoon I decided to accompany her to buy some stuff. We headed straight to the bookstore. Surely there would be no shadow of Tom there.

"What kind of book would you like to read?" I asked her, once we were inside the shop.

"Something sad, about people who don't know who they are, what they want from life, things like that."

"I understand. I guess I'll see you in a couple of hours. I'm going to visit a completely different genre now."

"Yes go, you delusional dreamer."

I grimaced at her as an answer after which I headed to the love stories. I haven't read a good book for a long time. Let's say that with the university I got less and less time. I would like a compelling story, which captures me from start to finish, and not the usual story known and wanted. I took any novel I saw and started reading its plot. The one I looked at first was highly erotic. And I never read any books with this genre. Who knows, I could try...

"No, that's nothing for you, darling."

"Tom? What the fuck are you doing here?"

"I wanted to buy a good book."

"Are you sure you're not stalking me?"

"I am sure."

"Anyway why wouldn't this novel be good for me?"

"Because you won't like it."

"And how do you know?"

“I just do."

"Well, I'll buy it."

"Well, don't blame me later then."

“Oh sure, because of a novel. It takes more to shock me."

"If you think so. What are you doing tonight?"

"It's something that doesn't concern you."

“It was only a question."

"Sorry, I'm only nervous."

"And I, by chance, have anything to do with your nervousness?"

"You are the one and only cause, Ellis."

"I feel honored."

We went to the cashier to buy the book, in fact, I am going to the cashier, Tom was simply following me. Fortunately I saw my best friend and made her understand that I was going in her direction. As soon as she saw Tom she immediately understood."

“Yeah, well... This is Tom as you may know already."

"The bad boy.", she commented.

"Yes, that'll be me.", Tom replied, shaking her hand.

"The asshole. The Stalker and as well as Kate's erotic dream, for a week now."

"Shut up!"

Tom laughed amused.

After leaving the library, we said goodbye to him and headed elsewhere, hoping not to find him again.

"That man definitely follows you. Would you like it if we go outside? Let's go have fun, at least for one evening."

"Yeah, why not? A little fun for once. "

We went to a restaurant to eat, and fortunately not even the shadow of Tom was there. Even though I did nothing but look around all the time.

"Do you fear or hope that he will appear at any moment?"

"Please! I'm terrified!"

"Yeah, sure."

"By the way, you could have stayed quiet about the dreams."

"Why? He knows that you are in love with him."

"Of course, let's also give him the pretext to continue, come on."

After eating I got dragged by her to some club in the area. Not that I particularly like those places, but we could stay there for one evening.  
My friend dragged me on the dance floor against my desire of course. The problem was, I don't know how to dance. After about ten minutes I told her that I was going for a drink, and I let her dance with the others. Blessed is she who succeeds!  
I sat down on a stool with one arm on the bar counter. My head also started to spin, I'm wasn't used to all this mess.

"Hi, can I offer you a drink?"

I turned around, bewildered, and I found myself beside a man. A man who was not Tom. I was extremely surprised.

"No thanks."

"Are you bored?"

"A bit."

"Me too. I came with some friends, but they have already messed me up."

"The same goes for me. I'm here with a friend, but it's way too wild on the dance floor."

"You don't like dancing?"

“No, I'm not capable of it. I look like an idiot."

"I could teach you if you want."

"Well... I don't think that's a good idea.", I smiled.

He got up and approached me. "Come on, come."  
He took me by the hand trying to convince me.

"No, really... I don't want to."

At that moment an arm rested on that of the man making him let go of me.

"What is so unclear to you about what she said?"

There he was. You already know who I mean... Damn him, how can he find me everywhere?  
And while I wondered what magical powers he had, those two were already fighting.

"Come on, move.", Tom said, took me by the hand and dragged me away.

"Wait, my friend! I can't leave her alone!"

“She will know how to get home, don't worry. Now come on and don't fuck with me."

He forcefully got me into his car, without giving me time to say anything.

"Why did you do that?", I decided to ask him.

"Because that man only wanted to get into your panties."

"And how can you know? They are not all like that."

"No, but I know those men."

"You didn't have to do it anyway, plus you don't care about me, so..."

"And who told you that?"

“Oh, well, you put me through a week of hell. And now let me out, I want to go home safely."

"It's what I'm doing, bringing you home safely."

"Yeah... Sure..."  
  
When we arrived at our destination I got out of the car, violently slamming the door.

"Hey, my car has feelings too!"

I pretended not to hear it and headed to the door of my house. Unfortunately Tom still went after me and blocked my escape by grabbing my arm.

"Wait. You know, I've been a little frustrated lately... I know that I acted like an asshole."

"Then why are you still doing it? You're annoying as hell, just leave me the fuck alone already!""

"Well... So you fell out of love with me?"

I smiled and lowered my head. "Don't you like me a little?"

Tom sighed. "No. Well, a little yes. I don't know."

"And how come you don't try it with me?"

"Because you are in love with me. I could hurt you. Indeed, it is certain that I would."

"Oh..."

"Well, now... I should go. There is a friend waiting for me upstairs, I would not want to make him wait too long."

"Okay."

Tom smiled, grabbed my face with one hand squeezing it tightly and put a kiss on my lips.

"Good night. And don't think about this too long, it wasn't a kiss."

"Oh... Okay."

I returned home completely upset because of the evening and the kiss. Okay yes, it wasn't a real kiss, but his lipson mine?  
I entered my room and suddenly I felt someone holding me from behind. He prevented me from screaming by placing a hand in front of my mouth.

"Stay quiet, I don't want to hurt you."

I turned slightly to the individual who has just whispered in my ear and I could see that it was a man. But how did he get in?

“I'm Agent Shawn Bradford, I'm a spy. And I'm here to protect you."

"Protect me? And by whom?", I asked more and more upset.

“From Tom Ellis. That man is dangerous."


	8. Chapter 7

I put my hands on my hips undecided about what to do. Now who the heck was this? And Tom is dangerous? Well, until a few weeks ago I was convinced that he wouldn't even hurt a fly, but bafter this evening I had to change my mind.

"Dangerous? And what could he do to me?"

He nodded and approached, forcing me to step back and I ended up with my back to the wall.

"Don't worry, I'm not the bad guy. For now I can't tell you more, just to stay away from that man."

I nodded, unconvinced by what he just told me. Should I trust a stranger who, at night, got into my house like a thief? 

"I've been watching you for a week.", he continued, leaving me completely shocked.

"Another Stalker great!", I exclaimed at the limit of tolerance.

"I'm a spy, I told you. And this conversation of ours ends here, tonight. We will see you soon."

I got distracted for a moment and, when I returnedto reality, I realized that that guy has already disappeared. I looked around with suspicion and fear. I saw that the window was half open an I understood that he must have gone away.

During the night I couldn't help but think back on the words that the man told me. If I had to see him again tomorrow, in the light of the sun, I think I would not be able to recognize him. Tom was behind me, with the excuse of keeping an eye on me, and now another Stalker was added, with the excuse that the first one, that is Ellis, is dangerous, therefore he must protect me...

The next day, as soon as I opened my eyes, I found myself in front of my best friend with a murderous look on her face. She's probably mad at me for what happened last night. I left her in that disco without saying anything to her. So yeah, she had every reason to be mad at me.

"You have nothing to say?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that something happened last nigh..."

"And what? You simply abandoned me, you left without telling me anything!"

"No, listen...", I told her sitting on the bed: "Tom came and got into a fight with someone who asked me to dance. Then, after it, he practically forced me to leave with him. It wasn't my fault, I swear."

She seemed to believe me, although she was still very angry.

"Well, that means Tom is not as indifferent as he wants you to believe."

"Yes, I thought so too. Except that his behavior is so ambiguous, I never understand what he has in mind."

"Kate, if a guy punches another guy for you, it means he cares, of course."

"Not if the boy, or rather the man, is Tom Ellis. The new Tom Ellis."

I smiled at her and, after a moment of hesitation, she did too. Well, luckily she forgave me. I wouldn't have accepted to lose a friend because of that man. Not to mention the mysterious guy from last night. For a moment I thought I had dreamed it, but I realized that man was really in my room.

During breakfast I tried to understand why all this was happening. Tom has changed, of course, or rather, he is not the Tom I knew. He was going to get int trouble, but I didn't think he's a bad man, after all. Last night he left me speechless. And while I thought about all this series of things, my mobile phone took me back to the sad and crude reality.  
It was my mother.

"Kate, honey. Come to lunch today. It's Sunday, it would be nice to spend it with the family."

"But I should study, mom. Do I really have to?"

"Of course yes, it seems to me that you too are part of the family, or not?"

"Okay, I'll be there for lunch. See you later.", I sighed.

What agony. I wondered if anyone would ever let me study. I just hoped I didn't meet Tom today. Who knows? Maybe even the other guy.  
Fortunately, my best friend was together with her boyfriend later, so I won't have to leave her alone again. She would have beheaded me for sure.  
After taking a hot shower, and having relaxed more than I should, I prepare to go to my family.  
I left the house and almost bumped into someone. Tom was in front of me, super pissed, with a cigarette in his mouth.

"Who the fuck entered your house last night?"

Yeah... A good morning to you too, asshole...

"How do you know?"

"Answer my question!"

"A man who warned me about you, he said he is a spy and things like that."

"I should've guessede it.", he muttered, letting the smoke out of his mouth: "son of a bitch."

"Do you know him? Who is he?"

"Did he get his hands on you?"

"No, he didn't. He left almost immediately. He just tried to warn me."

Tom raised an eyebrow, he seemed to be quite angry.  
He bended his head slightly over me, observing me now with an amused look.

"You have been honest with me, you deserve a small gift."

I remained motionless, completely stunned by his words and by that proximity. Suddenly he brought his lips close to mine, just like the night before, and gave me another quick kiss on the lips.

"Recover quickly, darling. We have to go to your family for lunch."

I widened my eyes. "What? You, you... Have you been invited?"

"Yeah."

"I don't want you there! And don't kiss me anymore."

"I kiss you as much as I like and want."

I looked at him incredulously. "No! Who do you think you are? For what absurd reason should you kiss me?"

"But it's just a kiss. Don't be mad about it."

"I asked you something."

He started to think about it. "Because that way I can keep you good."

"Next time you should come up with an more convincing excuse.", I laughed and amazed him, he didn't know what to say anymore. 

I started to walk, but Tom immediately grabbed me by the arm, thus preventing my escape. I know he's going to tell me to get into his car, it doesn't need a fortune teller to knew that. The thing was, I didn't want to be alone with him for any reason. It also confused me, I never knew what to do or what to say. It maked me feel lost.

"Come on, I told your mom I was going to pick you up."

"I didn't know you were my babysitter."

"Move, darling. Get in the car."

"And stop calling me that!"

I snorted and opened the door to get into his car.

On the way home to my parents, Tom, unexpectedly, put a hand on my leg. I moveed my gaze to the man and was surprised to see him smile as he looked at the road. What was he doing it for? After a moment of hesitation, I managed to remove that hand from above my leg, without adding anything else and noticed a little surprise on his face, certainly not expecting it.

When we got to our destination, before I got out of the car, Tom stopped me.

"Don't do what you've done before, I don't like it."

"What?"

"You resist me."

"What the hell... I can't understand you! What do you think I am? A toy?"

"No."

"However, that's how you treat me."

"You are still in love with me."

I raised my head more exasperated than ever. "You always come up with that. But what do you want from me? Do you want to provoke me? Do you want to make me fall out of love? What do you want?"

He remained silent looking at me and, for the first time, I believed he has completely lost his voice. He doesn't know what he wants. He does not know. I hit the spot. I smiled and opened the door to get out, leaving him alone in the car to think.

I stayed with a smile on my lips during the family lunch. Yet my mother made him sit next to me. Since that evening that forced me to go home with him, my life has taken a far from beautiful turn. Here's who to blame: My mother.

"Tom, do you and Kate meet sometimes? You live in the same neighborhood, you must have happened to cross paths."

SOMETIMES?

"Oh... Yes, a couple of times.", he replied shamelessly lying.

"Yes, different times, mom." I added.

"My Kate always thinks about studying, she will surely spend the whole day with her nose in the books.", my father said, describing a person who, surely, was not really me.

"Too bad she doesn't have a boyfriend.", continued my mother.

I decided to temporarily get up from the chair. "Sorry, I'm going to the bathroom."

I couldn't take it anymore! Damn.

I stayed in the bathroom to look at my image reflected in the mirror. I had no desire to go back there, to always be told the same things. In addition, Tom continued to provoke me by putting his hand on my leg. So I prefered spending time in the bathroom.

After a while I heard someone knocking. It was too good to be true.

"Kate, are you okay?"

Oh, Tom came. My mother must have sent him.

"Yes, I'm fine, thank you."

"Let me in. I need to go to the toilet."

As soon as I opened the door I was literally overwhelmed and strongly held back by that man, who stood in front of me, preventing me from going out.

"Didn't you have to go to the bathroom?", I asked surprised.

"No, actually, I wanted to talk to you alone."

"About what?"

"Do you remember what the man from last night told you?"

"Yes, why?"

"The next time he comes to see you, call me, I will get to you immediately."

"I don't think he's dangerous."

"You don't even think I have a bad side."

"I don't think that anymore."

"Oh yes? But if you immediately told me the truth about that man, it means that you trust me."

He was right...

"I've known you since I was born, practically. Even though I never knew you as I do now, I still cannot trust someone who came to my house claiming to be a spy and such nonsense."

"Okay look, he's really a spy..."

"What? You're joking, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding."

"So he's right? You... You're dangerous?"

"No, he is not right. Fuck, I could never hurt you.", he approached, focusing his eyes on mine: "Not you."

I tried to control myself, but too much closeness got me into turmoil. "And why did he tell me he wanted to protect me from you?"

"Because he's angry..."

"And if it has something to do with you, what do I have to do with all this?"

"Because he... He knows that... He is..."

Damn, he's stuttering. He didn't know what to answer. What was going on?

"I have to go, I have things to attend to."

Unbelievably, he was running away.

"Go ahead."

He looked at me for a while, as if he wanted to tell me something, but at the same time he couldn't open his mouth. What was he hiding from me? Why must he be so mysterious...  
He went away telling my parents that someone just called him out of urgency.

"Kate, Tom forgot something, could you bring it to him?"

"Yeah? What did he forget?"

"His purse. I realized it when he was already gone."

I took the purse got up.   
Since I got home I have done nothing but turn and twist that purse in my hands. And, as always, instead of studying I started thinking about how to return it to him. I spend the whole afternoon thinking about.

"You're starting to scare me.", my friend said, while she entered the room.

"It's Tom's."

"Well, that explaines everything."

"No, you fool. It's from Tom and I was looking at it because I should give it back to him, but I don't know how."

"Go to him? It is practically the building opposite of ours."

"Yes, but... I don't know. I don't want to disturb him."

"Oh come on, go!"   
She forcefully got me out of the chair by dragging me to the door.

"Courage, go, and come back victorious."

"I hate you, you know?"

"I know, dear, now go, put some strength into your life."

She closed the door in front of my face, leaving me standing there like an idiot. I just had to go to Tom to give him his purse back... I just hoped there was no friend with him, that would be really too much. So I armed myself with courage and, after repeating myself to the point of exhaustion that absolutely nothing bad could happen, I was going to go down the stairs. Okay, maybe, I was exaggerating a bit...

I rang the bell on his door and heard noises coming from inside. I put my ear close to the door and seemed to hear complaints, but no, those were moans. Shit, shit, shit! I knew I shouldn't have come. I was about to head back, when suddenly the door opened and I found myself in front of Tom, all sweaty, and with a towel around his waist. Oh holy shit!

"Kate... What are you doing here?", he asked me, wiping his forehead, somewhat breathless.

"You... Me... My mother... The purse... That's why..."

"Darling, calm down.", he reassured me by taking my hand: "Come in."

I didn't know whether to accept or not, my legs have unfortunately forgotten how to walk. Tom took care of it by dragging me into his apartment.  
I remained motionless, in a corner, continuing to observe him. He leaned against the table with one of his breathtaking smiles. He's doing it on purpose, damn it.  
Suddenly I felt someone behind me.

"Tom, are we going back to bed?"

I turned around and found myself in front of a woman, completely naked. I thought that my heart stopped for a moment, for the hideous scene that I was forced to see. I immediately went over to the other side, while I heard that woman chuckle.

"Go back to the room, I'm coming."

"As you wish."

How much I would've liked to throw up at this scene. He let me in on purpose, to show me that he was messing around with that woman. But luckily he was unable to hurt me with that.

"Why did you come?"

"I had to give you this... You forgot it."

"Oh yes, I hadn't noticed. Thank you then."

I offered him the object, being careful not to even touch him.

"What's wrong?"

"You disgust me."

"Because of her? She's no one."

"Yeah, no one? This is nothing compared to what you really are."

"No, you don't understand..."

"You're wrong, I understand everything. And I also thank you, thanks to you I understood that I had been a fool for most of my life."

"To be in love with me?"

"Yes. But from tonight, I won't give a shit about you anymore."

"You never cared about me, darling. If it took so little to make you understand it."

"Little? Is all that you put me through this week nothing? And tonight? You let me into your apartment to show me that you were fucking that bitch on purpose!"

"I'm sorry."

"No, I'm sorry! I was wrong to trust you. It's really too much. You're a bad person, Tom. And I don't want to know you anymore, so fuck off."

I went out of that apartment violently slamming the door behind me. I never felt so humiliated in my life.  
I got home hoping that my best friend was in her room and won't see me with tears in my eyes. I know, it's stupid to cry over him, but what can I do? I'm fucking in love with that asshole. It is absurd, but it is like that...

Luckily there was no trace of her and I ran to lock myself in my room. There, however, was already someone waiting for me. Guess who...

"Kate."

"You again? No, get out!"

"Do you understand now who you have to trust?"

I wiped my eyes, trying to calm down.  
"I will trust you on one condition: Tell me everything you know about Tom Ellis, the real one, not just the actor."

"I will."

"Well, we have all night."

"I start by telling you that you have to believe me when I tell you that Ellis is dangerous. He is a killer."

I remained motionless, completely helpless, in front the man who has just revealed terrible news to me: I am in love with a murderer.


	9. Chapter 8

I sat on the bed and asked the agent to sit down too. It is not that I trust who knows who, but after what I heard I was ready to listen to what he had to say to me. I turned on the light, so as to see him and, as soon as I did, I realized that I had already seen him somewhere. He smiled seeing my perplexed face. Then I remembered! He's the guy Tom fought with at the disco.

"You are-...", I started, but couldn't even even complete the question.

"Exactly, that's me."

"And for what reason are you also following me? Wasn't that asshole enough?"

"That's exactly why, because Ellis follows you, like I told you last night: I have to protect you from him."

"Why do I suspect you do it just to harrass him?"

"Did he tell you that?"

"No. He just told me that you are angry with him, that's why you came to me."

"Ellis doesn't care about you."

"Is that so?"

"Kate, Ellis doesn't care about anyone. Trust me, I know him well enough."

"You know him well?"

"We've been following him for years."

"But he is only an actor..."

"That was just a cover."

"What are you saying? No that is not true."

"He is a good actor, no doubt about it. But Tom Elis is not what the rest of the world believes he is. There is a part of him that nobody knows, there are sides of him that you can't even imagine."

I was quiet for a moment to look at him with my mouth open. What the hell was going on?

"Why have you been following him for years?", I dared to ask him.

"He has always collaborated with various mobsters. We believe he is part of a sort of 'Family', but we are not sure. They know how to act, and a moment later they disappear without leaving a trace. Every tragedy that happens is their work, nothing moves without their consent. Nobody can touch them, they are unreachable."

"But what does Tom has to do with all this?"

"He has close relationships with other 'families' who deal with drugs, prostitution, gambling, and somehow helps them all to move forward. We just don't know what his role in the Mafia is at the moment."

"I... I think I heard something about it, but... I only thought he is in trouble..."

"Ellis in trouble? His only trouble is us agents who are close to him."

"And the fact of killing?"

"He slept with one of the women who were meant to get killed. That discovered them and he was forced to kill."

"Maybe that's why he's in trouble...", I reflected aloud.

"I said we are his only trouble."

The agent's story did nothing but confuse me even more. This seemed like a nightmare. And, to be honest, I really hoped it was only a dream and that at any moment I would wake up in a world were Tom Ellis was good and kind to everyone.

"It's absurd.", I said incredulously, putting my hands on my face.

"What? Don't you think I'm an agent?"

"No! Tom could be capable of everything you told me about? No, to say, I've been in love with that man for more than a decade! And, now, knowing that he is actually a madman, a maniac, a murderer, leaves me a little unprepared..."

"I give you all the time you want to understand, don't worry."

"One last thing... What do you want from me?"

The guy shrugged. "Who knows? One of our hypotheses is that I want to recruit you as a prostitute."

"What the hell?"

"Calm down, I just said it's a hypotheses."

"Okay, okay... And what would you advise me to do now?"

"Stay away from him."

"What if he's looking for me?"

"Don't worry about anything, just try to avoid him, we'll take care of the rest. In fact, I'll take care of it."

The man left, leaving me with a thousand doubts and dilemmas in my head. After all, Tom himself admitted that the guy is truly a spy, so there seems to be no doubt about that. The rest was the problem... Tom was probably part of the Mafia. But these people are untouchable, according to the agent, they are not really reachable. Tom would be involved in shady deals with bad guys. He went to bed with the daughter of someone important and was discovered by her husband. He killed him and now he's here to ruin my life, right? Before leaving, the man told me that there are still a lot of things I don't know about him, which I don't need to know, the only important thing is to stay away from him as much as possible.

The next morning, upon waking up, I started to think that it was all a dream. Gradually, however, I realized that unfortunately everything was real. Not that sleep had solved all my doubts, I was even more confused than last night. I stood up reluctantly and headed for the kitchen, seeing my friend watching me as she brought some food to her mouth.

"Are you okay?", She asked, looking at me puzzled.

"Are you by any chance an alien? If so, I would ask you to tell me. You are an alien who, for years, pretended to be a friend of mine and then, one day, kidnapped me and brought me to your home planet. Ain't it true?"

"Awesome, are you using drugs now too?"

"No. Just forget it."

I still didn't know what to think, I saw absurdity in everything. I just hoped I could keep Tom away, even if I didn't know whether or not to believe the agent. I didn't know him, it's possible that Tom was right, that he was simply angry with him. Yet I prefered to trust the agent. At least he didn't try to humiliate me constantly.

When I left the house I looked around, trying to find the Stalker. Fortunately, he didn't seem to be there. I walked towards the university paying close attention to the cars behind me. And as I lost myself among a thousand thoughts, the sound of a horn made me jump.

"Kate!"

I instinctively put a hand on my heart for the fright I just had. I moved my gaze slightly and found myself next to Tom, with his face out of the window, more smiling than ever.

"No! Stay away from me. I don't want to have anything to do with you."

"You don't really think so, come on. I apologized to you. It is not easy for me to apologize. You should consider yourself honored."

I decide not to answer him, walking forward.

"Kate, damn it, answer me! Don't pretend that you can't hear me!"

But I started running until I got to university. In the midst of all these people he would certainly not scream. Or at least I hoped so. Suddenly I felt someone touch my arm, and I turned around frightened.

"Hey, Kate, sorry. Do you happen to have the book we need for Friday?"

"Oh hey, it's you. You scared the shit out of me."

"I'm sorry, I did not want to."

"No, it's okay, forget it. Anyway... Yes, I got it."

"Could you lend it to me for today? I struggle to write down some notes, I get easily distracted."

This was Johnny Roday. Almost half of the university is in love with him, and for some time I liked him too, but nothing serious. I spoke to him yes and not only three, four times, more. And on all occasions he asked me something about the lessons or, like now, if I could lend him something. He really is handsome, but he believes he can achieve everything with a snap of his fingers. At that moment I realized that someone was staring at us insistently. And that someone was Tom, and he seemed quite annoyed...

"Of course, Johnny, I'll lend it to you after class, okay?"

"Okay thank you. Oh and would you like it if we sit next to each other? So as to help me maybe?"

"Sure."

I walked with him towards the entrance of the building, while Tom seemed to boil with anger.

During the lesson my mobile phone did nothing but vibrate continuously.

FROM TOM:

'Why are you avoiding me? Stop it, you're making me angry.'

FROM TOM:

'Who is that? Are you trying to take revenge, by any chance? Look, I'm not fucking around like you are right now!'

FROM TOM:

'Answer me! And tell that asshole next to you to stop looking at me!'

I turned slightly to the side and catched Johnny looking more than once towards the direction in which Tom was. Did I miss something?

"Kate are you a friend from Tom Ellis?"

"Huh? Yes why?"

"I only asked it because I know that you are a woman who doesn't talk much to others..."

"Can you get me to talk to him? I love his show 'Lucifer'."

"What?"

"Okay, sorry. It was only a question."

"So, can you introduce me?"

I thought about it a bit, and came to the idea to think it would be really funny.

"Of course I'll introduce you."

At the end of the lesson, I took Johnny by the hand and dragged him towards Tom, who was staring at us angrily with folded arms. I, however, from the top of my superiority, gave him a toothy smile, more than false of course.

"Tom, I would like to introduce you to a dear friend of mine. This is Johnny, your fan."

"Hello, Mister Ellis...", he greeted him.

"Well, I'll leave you alone."

Tom gave me a questioning look while I moved away.  
After a few minutes of conversation, in which Johnny tried to make him understand how much admiration he has for him, I saw Tom laughing nervously.

"Look, go find somebody else to annoy now.", he suddenly said.

Johnny immediately obeyd and left, without arguing.  
I turned to Tom with a serious look, ready to insult him from here to eternity.

"No, keep that little mouth shut, darling.", he managed to stop me in time.

"Fuck! You acted like a filthy lousy asshole, but what else can I expect? You treat women badly, let alone guys like him!"

"I don't treat women badly.", he corrected me. "I've already said that."

"No, you won't charm me with your words. What you did to these people is an evil thing! Okay, you may be 'Lucifer' on TV but you can't be like that in real life!"

"Look, I don't even have to try..."

"Oh sure, we have Mr. Seducer here, the number one in the world!"

"Stop it, come on. You're not the right person to talk about seduction..."

"What? Are you insinuating that I am not capable of it?"

"No, I just know. Darling, come on, you will surely have other skills. Seduction is not for you, I already told you, right?"

"Listen, I shouldn't even be here talking to you, I should rather stay away from you, so now I'll leave you with your beliefs. Goodbye."

I know, I was running away because I didn't know how to fight back to his provocation. But Tom immediately stopped me by grabbing my arm again.

"Why should you stay away from me? That piece of shit told you, didn't he?"

"Leave me alone."

"Kate! Fuck! Shit, you have to trust me!"

"No!"

"No? Darling, don't make me angry."

He was getting closer and closer with the clear intention of convincing me to go over to his side. And, when his lips were almost touching mine, I could only refuse him by moving away. Fortunately, the classroom was empty, otherwise a lot of trouble would have happened.

"You see? You no longer have me in hand."

Tom seemed impressed by both the phrase and my attitude. He moved with his gaze elsewhere and, at the same time, released his grip on my arm while I went away.  
I couldn't believe I managed to resist him, I didn't think I was capable of it. I was probably starting to fall out of love with him, and this couldn't be anything but good. Except that he's not the man I've been in love with. I didn't need him in my life right?


	10. Chapter 9

In the end I thought I solved the situation. In the following days I didn't saw Tom. He didn't even showed up at my university. The Professor justified his absence by telling us that he had problems, but I didn't know whether to believe him or not. The fact that I no longer had him around should make me happy, but instead I was worried. I shouldn't, given by his behavior, but I couldn't deny myself that I still cared a lot about him. Hell, I was convinced that I had fought away my stupid feelings towards that man forever, instead I still felt something. Maybe I just needed to know he's fine, that's all, but he didn't show up all week.

On Saturday evening my best friend organized a party for four: Her, me, her boyfriend and a friend of him. Not that I didn't like the idea of a party, but I wanted to try to think of something else. Talking to a guy who wasn't Tom won't do me anything but good.

"Kate, where are you?"

“I'm here, I'm ready, don't worry."

"It is your golden opportunity."

"Thank you but I don't think so..."

“It's impossible for you to fall in love with another guy who isn't Tom Ellis right?"

"Hey!", I shouted, pretending to be angry: "I didn't say that."

"Yes, but it sounded like that."

We went out with one goal: To have fun.   
When we arrived at the club we were immediately greeted by her boyfriend. I must say that he was a nice and kind man. He made us sit down and, after a few minutes, he returned to our table with a friend with him. He was dark-haired, green-eyed, and looked tough. He introduced himself, his name was Eric, and attended the faculty of Engineering. He was a genius of mathematics, great. I hate maths. Always hated and I will always hate it. It was my nightmare in high school. Fortunately, I won't have to deal with it now.

"Kate, how about we dance?"

"What?"

"Come on, let's dance!"

"Yes... But I can't dance!", I said turning to her boyfriend.

“It's no big deal. Let's go to the toilet put some dresses on, nobody will recognize you."

I snorted, but in the end I gave in. "Okay, though... But let me drink something strong first."

Alcohol was the solution to all my problems at the moment With the help of alcohol I would be ready for anything. My goal for tonight was to drink until I lose my lucidity and therefore to find the courage to improvise together with my best friend. It's not a problem for her, she knows how to dance and also dances well. I, on the other hand, am a real disaster, but after drinking I would be able to dance.  
After pouring down a some glasses of who knows what mix of cocktails, we went to the toilet.

"Are you fucking crazy? This is not a dress! A bra and a pair of hotpants?"

"Those are costumes, Kate, they are not simple undergarments.", she corrected me.

"But it's still only a bra and a pair of underpants, holy shit!"

"So what? Look, I have some masks. Put on yours and forget about everything else. For at least one evening, stop thinking about Tom Ellis and have fun."

And as soon as I heard her saying that name, something clicked inside me.

"Yes, damn it, come on!"

I already knew that I would regret it bitterly in a couple of seconds. And in fact, as soon as I found myself with a thousand lights and curious eyes on me, I would've liked to run away. My friend pinched me to make me react, and I decided to move. I tried to imitate her movements and follow the rhythm of that seductive music. After a few minutes I started to feel the rythm and started moving at my own. But a glance at everyone left me completely blown away.  
Tom is there, sitting at a table, looking at me. I armed myself with courage that I didn't even believe I had and I danced towards the man with a seductive attitude.  
He had a serious expression, for the first time he didn't have that irritating little smile. He remained motionless, continuing to look at me deeply. I felt his breathing become irregular, while I enjoyed caressing his hair sensually. His hands ended up on my hips and, in the meantime, I started dancing again to the rhythm of that song. Then however, that song came to an end. But, before going away, I found myself in his arms.

"You're a bad girl, honey, what's your name?"

And now, what do I do? If he found out it's me, I didn't knew how he'll react. He continued to look at me seriously, while his hands end up on my face, and precisely on the mask. I let him do it, I didn't want to let him think I was someone else...

"Oh shit! Shit!"

He got up and I had time to cling to him so as not to fall to the ground. Tom realized that I could fall and immediately kept me close to him. We looked at each other for a long time, until he decided to let me down. And once I got back down, I went away. What an embarrassment! Did that asshole had to take off my mask? Luckily we were in the dark, and nobody noticed anything. But he did, damn it. He knew I just danced for him.

Before the entrance to the toilet my friend and I met her boyfriend and Eric. They congratulated us on our performance, and my best friend congratulated me on what I did a few minutes ago, the dancing next to her. I was not very proud of it, to be honest. After a few minutes my friend went 'away' with her boyfriend and I was left alone with Eric.

"You were very good."

"Well, thank you..."

"I was wondering if you'd like to go for a ride with me..."

"And where?"

He shrugged and approached me. “What does it matter?" 

"No, thank you, I prefer to enjoy the rest of the evening in peace."

But he did not give up on this refusal. He took me by the arm and dragged me, by force, onto himself. I tried to free myself from his grip, but he was stronger than me.

"Come on, Kate, I don't want to hurt you."

"No, I told you I don't feel like it."

He made me lean my back against the wall, without doing it violently. He didn't seem like a bad boy, but I had no intention of going with him. Suddenly I felt his hand slip into my panties. I opened my eyes wide and, with full force, pushed him away from me. Eric did not give up, but suddenly I saw Tom grabbing him and brutally throwing him against the wall.

"No, stop!", I ordered immediately.

But Tom seemed to have totally lost control. He took the man by the shirt and lifted him up in the air. Eric was bleeding already and I tried to get in the way to keep Tom from continuing.

"Touch her again you piece of shit, and I swear that the next time I'll cut your fucking head off!"

After a few moments of hesitation he let go of him, who fell hopelessly to the ground. I was about to see how he was feeling, but Tom grabbed me by the arm. I tried to tell him that I couldn't go anywhere dressed like that, and in response he took off his jacket and then put it on me.  
Once in the car he seemed a little worried. All he did was look at the mirror and snort, as if someone was following us.

"Are you going to take me home?", I asked fearfully as I squeezed his jacket.

" No, I can't. We have some ... troublemakers going after us."

"And where are we going?"

"To a friend."

"What? No! Forget it, I'm not coming with you."

"Shut up please, you've already done enough trouble tonight."

"No, you can shut up! I have no intention of going with you to one of your 'friends'!"

"Stop that!"

"Open the door! I'll find a way to go home. Stop that damn car!"

"Don't even talk about it, stay quiet, damn it."

“What if I open it and throw myself out? It won't matter to you."

"And who the fuck told you that?"

"Let me out!"

Tom pulled over and, finally, I could open that damn door and run away. But as soon as I went out, he did the same, and my escape ended when I found myself practically bumping against his body.

" I care about you. I care about you a lot! Don't you want to understand it?"

And to those words followed a sudden, and unexpected kiss that took my breath away from any other kiss of all the infinite romantic films that I had seen throughout my life.  
His tongue was desperately searching for mine. His hands were firmly on my buttocks holding them tightly. And that kiss became more and more passionate and wild. It almost took my breath away. I clinged to him helplessly, without any sign of energy. The taste of his mouth was something spectacular. And our struggling tongues seemed not to want to surrender to seek for each other. I trembled, both from the fear and from the desire I had.

But suddenly, Tom, put an end to the kiss by turning abruptly towards the car and starting to kick against it.

"Fuck!", he screamed as he continued kick.  
Then he turned to me with a terrifying look.

“Get in the car and forget about everything. Nothing ever happened, there was no kiss. There was nothing."

I nodded, trembling and did as he told me, even if, after what happened, I couldn't help but think how hopelessly in love I still was with him...


	11. Chapter 10

I squeezed Tom's jacket tightly while he drove through through the streets. That silence was becoming more and more unbearable, and my heart did nothing but beat wildly because of that kiss. I couldn't help thinking about it. However Tom practically ordered me to forget everything. I closed my eyes trying not to think about anything, and to stop asking myself a thousand questions to which, unfortunately, I thought I would never find the answer.  
Later I felt that someone was gently holding me. I must have fallen asleep on the way in the car and decided to continue pretending to sleep, also because I really didn't have the strength to stand up. After a few minutes I heard a voice.

"And who is she?"

"She doesn't concern you."

I felt Tom going on and, after a few moments, he gently put me down on a mattress and his hand was caressing my forehead.

"Tom, can I know who this woman is?"

"Shut up, can't you see she's sleeping? Let's go and talk over there."

They closed the door, but at that point I opened my eyes and got out of the bed to eavesdrop. I was very careful not to be discovered and opened the door slightly to see something and I saw Tom walking back and forth.

"Do you fuck her?"

"No."

"Why not? If you don't screw her it means that there is something else."

"There is nothing."

"You know what I mean. You shouldn't have brought her here."

"And I always told you that something serious could happen one day, didn't I?"

"No."

"No that is not true."

"I only tell you that for your sake."

"Stop that."

“They're chasing you, aren't they?"

Tom sat down fully letting himself go and raising his head to the ceiling. He seemed quite frustrated. Probably for all the mess he got into.

“I gave her a kiss tonight. And I shouldn't have done it."

"You're telling me you got upset about a kiss?"

"I felt something... But I can't, I shouldn't, damn it."

"What does that woman have what others don't?" 

"I don't know. I haven't understood anything since I saw her again."

"If you want to talk, I'm here."

“And over what? You can't help me with that, even I can't understand myself anymore. On the one hand I would like that no one falls in love with me, I would like others to understand that I am not the right person and that they better stay away, but on the other hand... I would like to understand if it is true that she cares about me, and I can't help but keep an eye on her, I just have to try to control myself."

"That's why you can't fuck her."

"Why?"

"Because you're in love with her."

Tom stood up abruptly making both the man and me jump. He got angry about his latest statement. He turned to him and made him fall against the wall. At that point I closed my eyes turning impulsively to the other side.

"Don't say something like that anymore, do you understand?", he said threateningly: “I'm not in love with anyone! NOBODY!"

I went straight back to the bed hugging the jacket Tom had left on me. I was terrified, but at the same time I didn't understand anything. Was that man right? Was Tom really in love with me? So that's why he got angry? His reaction scared me somewhat. And to think that, before, when he caressed my forehead he seemed like the sweetest and most defenseless man in this world.

The next morning I woke up and the first thing I saw were Tom's eyes that looked at me closely. He was shirtless, sitting on a chair next to the bed, and seemed very thoughtful.

"Have you been there for a long time?", I asked, stretching.

"All night.", he replied carelessly.

"And why? I thought..."

"I don't sleep when there's business."

"You could lie down next to me."

He laughed like I've never seen him do it. "You're kidding, aren't you?"

I shook my head in fear. "No why should I? There would have been nothing wrong with you lying next to me to sleep."

Tom got up and, in a few moments, reached me on the bed. We looked each other in the eye, without knowing what else to say. I moved my gaze slightly towards his lips and I couldn't resist it. On impulse, I brought my mouth close to his. Tom remained motionless, certainly not expecting it. After a few seconds he, however, got up smiling and shook his head.

"What should I do with you?", he asked more himself than me.

At that moment I remembered something: My best friend! I left her again...

"Shit, I have to call my friend!"

"Don't worry, I've already thought about it."

"And how? I don't have a phone with me, how did you track her down?"

"Too many questions in the morning."

"Oh, I'm sorry..."

I lowered my head and, at that moment, Tom brought his hand under my chin to force me to look him in the eyes.

"I'm going to take a shower, you're going to have breakfast."

"I'm not very hungry."

"How? You have to eat."

"My stomach is going crazy, sorry."

"Because of me?"

"Could be."

He smiled, totally pleased. He seemed to reflect on something, but suddenly I saw him approaching and, a moment later he was kissing me.

"Now eat."

"I thought you didn't want to do that anymore?"

"What?", he asked erplexed.

"Kissing me."

"Did you eavesdrop last night?"

I nodded.  
Tom brought a hand to his face, and something told me he's not happy about it. He moved his gaze and looked at me with a very serious expression. Suddenly he picked me up before I could do anything.

"You deserve punishment."

I feared the worst. I dared not to imagine what he had in mind to do to me. We went into the bathroom and he pushed me into the shower. He too entered and started the water making me scream because it was cold. I tried to cover myself as best I could, but at that point Tom drew me to him and took away those ridiculous clothes I still had on me.

"Stand still."

I obeyed, totally lost. He looked at me with desire, slowly brushing his lips on mine. After a few seconds he went down my neck, touching it, without kissing it. Suddenly I felt his breath on my breast and I started to tremble like never before. He kissed them, one after the other, driving me crazy. I feltl like I'm going to explode but Tom suddenly got up, putting an end to that sweet torture.

"And... The punishment?", I asked, disappointed.

"That was it."

"No."

"Just get out of here and finally eat something. I don't want to fuck you.", he admitted, looking at me seriously.

"What if I want instead?"

"You would do something else, that's the problem."

"I don't understand, what do you mean?"

"I would just fuck you... No, okay?"

"It's what you want me to believe. You feel something for me, stop acting like an a ice-hearted man."

"What? You are like all the others, okay? And now go out, okay?"

"You're an asshole."

I did as he said, I left the shower leaving him alone. He kissed me, then told me to forget everything. The next day he took me into the shower with him, undressed me, touched me, kissed me almost everywhere, and then pushed me away. I absolutely had to clarify this whole situation. First I needed to understand what his true feelings were and then I would deal with discovering his true identity. I wouldn't want to fall in love with a murderer, let alone all the other crimes he would be guilty of. I shook my head trying to push all those thoughts away for at least a second. At least before leaving the bathroom I found a tablecloth with which to dry myself. I passed by the kitchen and met the man from last night, whom I haven't actually seen yet, since I was 'sleeping' last night.

"Hi, you're Kate, aren't you?"

"Hi there..."

"Sit down, have breakfast."

I couldn't help it but I felt embarrassed.  
"How long have you known Tom?" I asked, so as to break the ice.

"For a lot of years."

"So you've been friends for a long time..."

"Yes. There is nothing to be surprised about."

“And what can you tell me about his story? I know he is not the man I believed he was for many years. You know something about this?"

“That's none of your business, Kate. I can tell you about his acting life as much as you want, but I can't say anything else."

"Please tell me something, I have to know who that man really is, I have every right. What happened to him?"

"Nothing. He has never changed, this is what you don't understand."

"Then I'm in love with a person who doesn't exist..."

“I would advise you to leave him alone. Believe me, he's not the right one for you."

I looked at him for a while, as if to understand if the advice he just gave me came out of his heart or because he wants me to get away from him.

"You only say it because you want me to go. You want me to leave him alone."

“Do you think nothing serious would change? Be aware that while he is with you, you're also in danger. Could you live with that"

"I would never accept such a thing."

"So you will leave him alone?"

"I don't know yet, I would like to understand it more."

“Tom won't change for you, plus you don't know anything about his life, and I don't think you'll like knowing what he's doing. I won't repeat it to you again, leave him alone."  
  
I sighed and look around, completely stunned by everything that's going on. Maybe the agent was right, Tom is a criminal. This man was making me understand that I would not like to find out who he really is.

"What is it that you have to leave alone?", I heard Tom suddenly asking behind me.

We both turned around, completly off guard. In front of our eyes was Tom, shirtless, with a towel tied around his waist.

"Nothing, I was just telling your friend that if she doesn't want to eat she can leave the food on the plate."

I nodded, without adding anything, also because I couldn't open my mouth, I was enchanted.

Tom put on his smile and stepped forward, undisturbed, towards us. What the agent told me was on the edge of the absurd, and what this man told me was too. If Tom was really like that, then I'd better leave him alone.  
So I got up and went back to room where I slept. But after a few seconds I heard the bedroom door open and a moment later someone was slamming me violently against the wall. Tom was there, looking at me with folded arms.

"Where are you going?"

"Away from you."

"Because of the kiss? Do you want one again?"

"No!"

"Calm down."

"No, I won't calm down, you're driving me crazy! What do you want from me? I heard you last night, you want me to understand that you are not the right man for me, you want to test my feelings, you want to keep me at bay, but at the same time you would like to control yourself. What the fuck is the meaning of all this?"

Tom deliberately let go of the towel, making it fall to his feet. If he wanted to annoy me, well ... he made the right move. What a bastard...

"Are you done?"

"I... You... Nothing."

"I don't get too close because it could be dangerous."

"Dangerous?"

"I am dangerous.", he smiled.

"Oh mmm", I swallowed and didn't know what to say.

“Now get dressed. You will find what you need in that drawer on the other side of the bed. I'll wait for you."

"Are you taking me home?"

"If that's what you want, sure."


	12. Chapter 11

Luckily Tom left the room allowing me to dress in peace. I thought I was going to die, damn him. As soon as he saw me again, he opened his eyes wide and, immediately afterwards, glanced at his friend. He shook his head, deeply annoyed, while I looked down rather intimidated. Suddenly I saw the man taking off his jacket and approaching with the intention of putting it on.

"Now let's go."

I nodded and, after trying to say goodbye to his friend, we got out of that house and into his car. To tell the truth I didn't really want to separate from him, there were so many questions that I would've like to ask him, only that something blocked me, and it was that I didn't know how he could react.

"Why didn't you come to university this week?"

"I had things to do."

"Will you come tomorrow?"

"No."

"Because?"

"Because it's better this way, trust me."

"And when will you come?"

"I don't know."

"In a week it's Christmas, surely my mother will invite you to dinner with us."

"Yes, she already has, but I told her I can't."

"Oh. Are you taking me home then?"

"It's what you want, isn't it?"

"No."

"And where do you want me to take you, then?"

"Let's go for a ride, the two of us, together."

"What? No, I'm sorry, I'm busy."

"Come on, what does it cost you? I want to be with you for a while."

Tom stopped the car and turned to me with an amused smile painted on his face. That look made me shiver.

"So you don't believe what that agent told you?"

"How do you know?"

"It doesn't matter. Do you trust me?"

“I really don't know what to listen to anymore. That man told me about some horrendous things, then your friend... He told me a little about you this morning, let's say he didn't tell me about the beautiful things."

“Leave him alone. Whatever he told you he did it just to get you away. He is 'scared', he knows that you are different from the others."

"Different... In what sense?"

"He knows I care about you."

"You told me last night.", I remembered.

"Yes, I told you."

"Tom... You... Do you feel anything for me? Was your friend right last night?"

"Kate, no, don't ask me this."

"Why? Are you afraid to say it?"

"I can't, please stop it."

"Okay... But... Don't take me home.", I whispered as I approached him.

"I won't take you home, I promise." 

I smiled at him and, at that moment, I realized that I have come too close. I couldn't resist the urge to kiss his lips. And I did. I brushed his mouth with mine gently and without going further. Tom seemed to lower all defense, almost softening to the touch of my lips on his.

"Your kisses are too sweet.", he whispered on my mouth.

"Don't you like how I kiss you?", I asked fearfully.

“No, that's not it. It's just... I don't usually kiss like that."

"I'm not very experienced."

"No, you're perfect... Really."  
He opened his eyes again and realized that he has gone too far with words. "But it's wrong."

He started driving again, leaving me with his taste on my lips.  
After a while we stopped for breakfast in a bar. I liked the idea. Sitting at a table with Tom made me smile. I've always dreamed of having a date with him and, at least, I could pretend it was.   


"Will you take me shopping after this?", I then decided to ask him.

He smiled once more, bringing his hand to his hair. "Okay, let's go shopping."

I made him sit on the armchair in front of the dressing rooms, while I tried on a pair of dresses. I would've liked to amaze him, I would've liked him to tell me once and for all what he really felt for me. But he's so stubborn, damn him.

"Do you like it?”, I asked, moving the curtain of the dressing room.

Tom raised an eyebrow, he was probably not very convinced.

"You don't like it?"

"It's a little too low-cut, isn't it?"

He got up and eliminated any distance, starting to look carefully.

"Definitely a bit too low-cut, Darling.", he smiled: "What are you trying to do?"

"To impress you?"

"You're really stubborn, aren't you? Come on, try the other one."

I nodded and returnd his smile, going back to try the other dress on.

"So?"

He laughed out loud. "You want to provoke me, but you are not capable of it."

"What do you mean?"

"That that dress is really sexy, like the other one, and they look great on you. But look at your face and you will understand that you don't know what you're doing."

"I know...", I admitted, lowering my head.

"I like you already, you don't have to change."

"Really?"

"Yes, but don't start asking me questions of any kind."

"Okay, I won't ask you anything.", I laughed.

After spending the whole morning shopping, Tom did not seem bored at all, in fact I thought he was having fun. We had lunch in a small restaurant in the area, talking about this and that and smiling at each other as usual. 

"Where do you want me to take you now?"

"Let me think... Well... Please, take me to the library."

He also agreed to this desire.

"Tom? You scared me a little."

"Why?"

"Because you were a different person last night, another one this morning, and now you're again another person."

"It's just that... I'm fighting. I don't know what I want."

"And I can't help you understand?"

“You have to be with your mouth sewn up, you understand? I have other things to think about, among other stuff, I can not get lost in nonsense."

"Is love nonsense?"

"Who spoke of love?"

"Forget it, you're the usual asshole."

We entered the library, although I would have liked to continue the conversation and understand what the hell was going on in his head. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to have the slightest intention of speaking.

"That's why you're like that, read those idiocies."

"The love books?"

"Yes, those like that."

"At least I can dream a little."

"Oh please."

"You should read a few too, you are unbearable."

He laughed, approaching my ear. "I leave them to you, so you can dream of me as much as you want."

"How hateful you are."

Tom insisted on buying me the books I have chosen. He practically filled me up with those presents for no reason. Maybe he wanted to be forgiven for everything he's done to me in the recent weeks?  
Unfortunately, it's time to go home. There was a long way to drive, and it was almost night. During the journey by car I thought about what I could say to ease that heavy silence a little.

"Thanks for this day."

"You are welcome."

Wow...

"You won't say anything else?"

"And what should I say? Thank you for making me to waste precious time? I told you I had things to attend to."

"So why did you agree to be with me all the time?"

"Because... I say no to you."

"Well, sorry, I didn't want to annoy you."

"You didn't, don't worry."

A minute of heavy silence followed again, in which neither he nor I opened our mouths.

“Okay, well, I had fun too. Happy?"

"Yes, now yes.", I laughed heartily.

"Unbearable Woman..."

When we arrived in front of the buildings, Tom stopped me before getting out of the car.

"I'm leaving tomorrow, and you probably won't see me for a long time..."

"What? Why?"

"Because of work, I have things to take care of, and I just can't stay."

"But in a week it's Christmas...", I reminded him.

"It makes no difference to me."

"You want to get away from me, don't you?"

"Also."

"So this is a farewell?"

"Yes. But it's better this way, believe me. I don't know what the fuck is going on with me and you, and I don't want to find out. So... Live your life, don't get in trouble."

"And you won't keep an eye on me anymore?"

"I'll always keep an eye on you, don't worry, Darling."

"Can I... Can I kiss you for one last time?"

"No, please... Just go."

"I... I..."

"No, don't say it. I already know."

"Then... Bye, I guess..."

"Yes..."

I opend the door and reluctantly got out of that car. My hopes were completely gone. I thought he wanted to reveal what he felt for me, instead it was about saying goodbye.  
When I entered the apartment, my best friend was still waiting for me.

"Hey! You abandoned me for the second time! Do you think it's normal? What am I? A dog you got and leave on the street? Look, one day we poor puppies will take revenge, you know? Yes, whoever does it, wait for it, my dear. Revenge will come!"

That said, she went back to shut herself up in her room, leaving me standing there.  
At that moment I wanted to burst into tears to forget everything, but my mobile phone on the table catched my attention. A text message had just arrived:

FROM ANONYMOUS:

'From now on everything will change. Get ready. Your life will never be the same again.'


	13. Chapter 12

I didn't think it could hurt so much to be without him. I realized that Tom only said goodbye to me the next day when I woke up. But it was too late now. In the end, despite his 'other' side, everything they told me about him was of no use. In fact, my love has become even stronger. How was that possible? I should've despise him, curse him, hope to never see him again in my life. Instead, none of this happened. I was aware of how I feel about him, and part of me was ashamed of it. Now he was gone and, clearly, he did it because of me, because he is afraid of what I could've made him feel.  


"Tom is gone.", I announced as I sat down to have breakfast.

"He was... The room... You?", my friend started to stammer senseless, and I decided to stop her.

"No, he wasn't here. He left last night, he said goodbye, probably forever."

"Oh... And you are feeling happy, sad, depressed?"

"Why am I even talking to you about it? It's like talking to a wall."

"So, if I understand correctly, Ellis has vanished, so what?"

"I swear if you don't stop I'll kill you."

"I bet he still follows you. He keeps an eye on you. Twice punched someone for you, so why should he run away all of a sudden?"

"Me?", I blurted out impatiently.

"Yes you! Because that man is clearly crazy, in love with you! And you let it go like it's nothing. Besides, what should you have done?"

"Okay, you're probably right about almost everything. But you see, there are things you are not aware of, so you cannot fully understand what I am feeling right now."

“If you don't tell me anything, how can I know about it? Tell me then."

"I can't tell you about it, at least not right now. First I'd like to understand something myself, because I'm very confused about the whole thing. By now I could also forget and pretend that nothing happened, Tom is gone, and he certainly will not have the intention to return."

"So what? Aren't you going to do anything?"

“I should think a little more about myself, don't you think? Ever since that man came back to my life, I've been swept up in a huge mess."

"Oh, get over ut! You are only afraid of what you feel for him."

"Yes, and that's fine, I'm afraid. And if Tom ran away, it's because he too is afraid of what he feels. We are two cowards, two idiots who deserve nothing at all. Are you happy now?"

"Yes, now yes. Let me finish breakfast, thank you."

I didn't even feel like going to class that morning. Knowing that Tom would not be there today, nor the days that follow, saddened me greatly. How much I wished things were easier... And it was only him who made it so difficult. Who was he really?

When I arrived at the faculty, I glimpsed in the distance to one of my female classmates, looking at me in a bad way, as she has been doing for a few weeks now. So after taking a deep breath, I approached the woman, determined to clarify the situation once and for all.

“Can I know what exactly I did to you? Because, it's been about three weeks since you have spoken to me again. Did I accidentally hurt you? I don't think so! I want you to know that I have absolutely nothing to do with what Tom did to you."

"You really don't get it, huh?"

"What? Explain yourself."

“He just wanted to spite you!"

"So you blame me for everything?"

"I asked him if he was in love with you, and he replied laughing, and then added that you are just lost.", she said, smilinge.

"So explain to me why you never spoke to me again?"

"Because I felt humiliated! And all because of you."

“But I had even warned you. It is unfair what you are saying."

"Think what you want, I don't want to have anything to do with you or even with that man anymore, actor or not."

I didn't say anything anymore after that conversation and went away to enter the classroom and something unexpected happened.

"Kate!", exclaimed the man who appeared to be the spitting copy of the agent, and Ellis' rival in who knows what absurd business.

“Miss Jackson, I'm really impressed that your knowledge also includes that of our new Professor. He will be my assistant for this week.", the professor told me.

In response, he gave me a sly smile.

For the entire duration of the lesson that man did nothing but look at me and threw me smiles of all kinds. My patience had a limit, and he was definitely testing my nerves. What else did he want? Tom was gone so he could leave too and leave me alone once and for all.

At the end of the lesson I tried to get away without looking him into the eye, but my hopes were immediately put to the ground since the Professor asked me if I could wait a moment. I certainly could not say no, unfortunately, the classroom was still full of students and, above all, my Professor was still sitting about things related to his work. So I had to wait and hoped that the agent wouldn't start talking to me about Tom and all that stuff but he did.

"Can I offer you lunch? There are things I need to talk to you about."

The Professor barely looked up, somewhat suspicious. However, the agent noticed.

"You know, Sir, Miss Jackson and my wife are great friends. That's why we've known each other for a long time..."

"Oh, I understand...", he only said, and looked back to his work.

The man gave me a smirk, and we both went out to go to some restaurant. To tell the truth, I didn't really want to talk to him, but a part of me would've liked to know more about Tom and everything about him. And that agent, at least back then, seemed like the only person who could solve all my doubts, so I hoped.

"Listen to me well, I don't want to hear you say anything else absurd, is that clear? So I know that you are angry with him for something unknown to me, so keep it to yourself and do not put me in the middle."

"Look, Ellis and I have been friends for many years."

"What the?"

"Yes, the two of us are... Friends, enemies, rivals, we are a bit of everything, darling."

"No. You are completely crazy."

"Listen, he is not here now, he asked me to keep an eye on you, and therefore in order for you to trust me, I am forced to tell you a few things."

“But weren't you an agent? Isn't he the criminal?"

“That isn't about the things I have to tell you. Please don't ask questions and listen."

I snorted, quite annoyed. "Okay, what do I have to lose?"

At the restaurant, after getting comfortable, he started talking so as to untie some knot of that tangled story.

“See, when I got here, Ellis and I met for a coffee. That was a pretext to start a new challenge, we did nothing but make bets on who is able to accomplish a business of any kind first. A kind of game, if we want to put it in these terms... In the middle of a chat, I realized that my friend was no longer listening to me, he was as if enchanted, completely taken away by something. And when I turned around, in the direction he was looking, I saw a woman, not far from us. I'd never seen him look like that. It seemed he was completely lost. Then I had an idea, I told him to bet on who was the first to get to know more about her. He, at first, wrinkled his nose, later agreed to the challenge."

"And what the hell have I got to do with all this?"

“Well, you see, that woman was walking while holding a newspaper in her hands, on the afternoon a few weeks ago. Do you remember anyone?"

It was me! I was reading exactly that interview in which he spoke of wanting to make his "other" side known...

“But it didn't end there. It was all a misunderstanding. He came here to keep an eye on Kate Jackson, which is you. However, that day, he didn't recognize you. He didn't know you were really that Kate, he hadn't seen you in a couple of years, you probably changed a bit, and from that distance he couldn't connect."

"Yes, I have changed compared to two years ago. I think..."

“When he saw you at your parents' house, he was amazed. He didn't expect that woman to be you. So we thought about it, for a moment, without knowing what to do. On one side there was the bet, on the other it had to protect you. So, he wanted to ascertain whether or not you were still in love with him. And nothing was enough to make him understand."

"I remember. That evening he acted like an asshole."

"Try to understand it... He really is dangerous, but I think that once he found out that this woman was you, he didn't want to use you, moreover he knew your feelings towards him. He is a bastard, I grant you. He is a mobster, but he is not a bad person..."

"And then? What happened?"

"Well, he found himself in front of your house, at the university... It was certainly not a coincidence. Like I said, he had to protect you. The only thing that didn't go according to plan is that you sent him into some kind of confusion. I think that asshole fell in love.", he laughed as if it was funny.

I tried not to blush and urged him to continue.

“Later, do you remember that evening when you met me? Well, after that punch I got really angry. And what the hell, I said to myself, it was just a bet, and I thought that that idiot was a little too over the top. He had never done so. But I still didn't know the whole story. I didn't knew you were Kate... So that's why I came to your house and warned you about Ellis."

"So it was just a bet?", I said, a little nervous.

“No, wait, before asking me, listen to the rest. After that visit, my dear friend got pissed off. He yelled at me that I shouldn't allow myself to enter your home and, above all, your room. He seemed to have gone mad. Then I realized that he was only jealous. Him being jealous was surprising. But it amused me a lot, so I decided to pay you another visit. Besides, he had explicitly told me that he wanted to keep you away from him, so I thought that coming to you again to tell you all those beautiful things could help him, right?"

"So he's not... I mean, did Tom not do anything you told me? Was it all a lie?"

"No, no, it's true.", he admitted, laughing out loud.

"Why do I have the feeling that you are kidding me?"

"Look, I'm not a liar, the things I told you are true, maybe I exaggerated a little bit, though, honey, that's the spirit."

"The... The spirit?"

"Ellis is different from how you knew him, or how you imagined him."

"And this would be your answer?"

“Yes, that's all I have to tell you. Are you happy now?"

"No, I'm not happy! Okay, you revealed to me that you and Rom had made a kind of bet on me, but that you still didn't know who I was, and that your 'friend' must protect me? What the fuck are you even talking about? How can you, the 'oh so amazing agent' be friends with a damn mobster?"

“I don't think it's that bad. He's focusing on other things right now. You know, he's in trouble. You probably added yourself to all the other troubles, but... Can I ask you a question?"

"What question?"

"Do you love him?"

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because the bet is still up, you know... I wouldn't mind winning it."

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I looked at him indignantly.

"No why should I? That man is unpredictable, especially since he got here. He says one thing, and does another. This is because he would like to have you, with all of himself, only that he is hindered by 'something', until now, unknown to him: The feelings he has for you. But believe me, he will never change. Are you sure you want a man like him?"

"I do not know. The only thing I know is that I love him and at this moment, I wish he was here with me, not you! That's all..."

"I will report that."

"To whom?", I asked in panic.

"To Tom, who else?"

"No! You won't say anything at all!"

"But he's my friend, I have to."

"Oh, is he your friend? All you do is talk about him badly. And again, you're a damn agent and he is definitely not! He is the opposite of what you are!"

"I'm not talking badly about him, that's just how things are."

"Okay, you know what? Report what you want! He already knows what I feel for him, it will certainly not be something new."

"Could I ask you another question?"

"Then be careful with what you ask.", I threatened him.

"Would you go to him? If he comes back, of course."

"Look, I don't know you, I don't even know what your real name is, and I certainly won't answer such a personal question."

"He might want to know, so..."

"So? You should know, right? You're the all-knowing asshole here."

"But he's in love with you, it's clear."

"Well, in that case maybe yes, maybe no, I certainly won't tell you."

"If you say so."

“Then let me ask you a question now? Why must Tom protect me? And from what?"

"Hey, hey. That are two questions, which I won't be able to answer to you, I'm sorry."

"Why? It's about me, so I should know."

"This is not the time yet."

"And when will it be?"

"Soon, be patient. The order is already on it's way."

"The order?"

“Yes, the order. The first move. You just have to be calm and try to be strong."

"I... I'm not understanding anything. Could you be clearer, please?"

“No. Our discussion ends here. Don't worry, I won't leave you alone. Also because that asshole would kill me."


	14. Chapter 13

And the agent kept his promise. He was following me worse than Tom. I didn't know if it was good or bad, since he practically protected me from I didn't know what. Saturday was Christmas Eve and I was forced to spend it with my parents. During the call, my mother seemed a little strange to me, she probably wasn't feeling well. All in all I thought that a family dinner, like in the old days, could be what it takes to make me think of something else, at least for one evening.

The day before the dinner I helped my best friend to pack her bags. She was going to spend the holidays with her boyfriend, in a cottage in the mountains, just the two of them.

"Please, be careful."

“Yes, yes, I got the condoms, don't worry. I'm not going to get pregnant, I still have so many things to do."

“And leave the tables alone. You know, beds are comfortable."

“How naive you are, Kate."

"Besides, isn't it uncomfortable on the table?"

"Yes, but it's very exciting."

"I would much prefer a soft bed."

"When you give in to passion too, then you will understand."

"I prefer not to understand, thank you."

The next morning, at seven o'clock, her boyfriend passed by our apartment to pick her up. Of course my friend was still sleeping and the poor man was forced to wait until she got out of bed.

"Sorry, I forgot we had to leave so early...", she justified herself, leaving her room with her eyes still closed.  
"And Kate? Please make sense of your life!"

"I'll work on it, but I don't promise you anything."

She smiled, closing the door.

How could I blame her? I believed these would be the saddest holidays of my entire existence. I would obviously spend them studying. With all the time I had wasted, I just couldn't afford to miss any more. Without my best friend, without Tom and others in the neighborhoods, I thought I could put my head into the books once and for all. And it was also time for me to resign myself to the fact that Ellis would never return. The agent, all week, has done nothing but followed me constantly. Who knows if he really told those things to Tom?  
  
I rang the doorbell and my mother opened the door. From the look on her face I understood that there was something wrong, even if she tried not to show it. Walking into the house I saw my dad sitting in his favorite chair watching a baseball game. He didn't even turned to greet me. So I approached him trying to get his attention, and eventually managed to turn him slightly towards me. He greeted me with a smile, but he too seemed to have seen something strange. Shortly thereafter I learned that my brother will not have dinner with us, because he had been invited by some friends. And it got more and more strange. My brother has never spent a Christmas without mom and dad, and now he went out with the excuse of meeting friends?

"Kate, we need to talk to you.", my father announced in the middle of dinner.

"Yes, your father is right. The time has come."

I looked at both of them. The confusion in my mind was only getting bigger.

“We have been carrying those thoughts for a long time, we wanted to wait for you to grow up to understand. And now you're old enough.", my father continued, continually avoiding my gaze. “See, when your mother gave birth to your brother things got complicated, she almost risked losing her life, but luckily the doctors managed to save her. Unfortunately, however they also told us that she could no longer have children."

I remained paralyzed, staring at one point in the room. My parents didn't dare to say a word, they were waiting to see what my reaction was. But I had no reactions to show. What my father just told me left me confused.

"I would have loved to have another child.", my mother continued sobbing: "Unfortunately I could not have more. However one day, someone brought us a baby, it was just born, still in swaddling clothes."

"They brought you.", concluded my father, looking at me with shining eyes. “We told the police, but no one had reported your disappearance, and if we didn't do something you would have ended up in an orphanage. So your mother and I had the wonderful idea of adopting you as our daughter, Kate..."

"Why... Why did you tell me? Why now?", I asked clenching my fists.

"We wanted you to be old enough...", replied my mother, drying her eyes: "But I don't hide from you that I have always lived with the terror that this day would come."

"So you don't... You don't know anything about me? On my origins? About my real parents?”, I asked with a knot in my throat, trying to hold back my tears.

"No, nothing...", was my father's answer.

"Excuse me...", I said, getting up from the table: "I... I no longer have appetite, nor a great desire to celebrate this Christmas..."

I immediately headed for my coat and bag, and although I knew that they made no mistake, the only thing I needed was to be alone. My mother runned to me to hug me before I went out the door.  
Fortunately, the taxi didn't take long to arrive. On the way home I did nothing but hear my father's words in my head. I've been adopted. I'm not their real daughter. I remember that when I was a little girl, my mother always told me that I looked a lot like her sister. Maybe she said it to cover it... Probably. My head was spinning, I couldn't reason, think, reflect on what I've been told. I just wanted to close my eyes and never open them again.  
When I arrived in front of the building I realized one thing: A car was parked exactly next to the building and the door opened after I got out of the taxi. It's him, yes, it's Tom. He was surprised to see me and I, tired from so many things, threw myself in his arms bursting into tears, while he closed the door with his leg.

“What happened to you? Hey... Don't cry now, I'm here. Don't be afraid of anything."

"I missed you so much."

"I know, I missed you too."

The man released the embrace to look me straight in the eye.  
I decided to get closer so as to rest my lips on his and, as soon as I touched them, I felt Tom's breathing getting more and more irregular. Suddenly, however, I was forced to open my eyes, no longer feeling the taste of his lips.

"Darling, the way you kiss me is sweet.", he said, giving me a spectacular smile and continuing to caress my face. "But... Why not like this?"

When he finished pronouncing that short phrase he united our mouths in a kiss full of passion and love. His tongue immediately entered my mouth and, as soon as he met mine, I was forced to cling totally to him for lack of strength. We ended up on the sofa in his apartment and that kiss seemed to have no end. We detached ourselves only to catch our breath.  
  
"Are you sure?", he asked me out of breath: "I don't want to force you."

"I trust you."

I caressed his hair, dying to feel him. He looked at me with eyes full of desire, and I hoped with all my heart that in that look there was also a little love, just as there was in mine...


	15. Chapter 14

Tom didn't took his eyes off me for a moment. I was impatient to know whether or not he would agree to spend the night with me. Looking him in the eyes, I felt that behind this hard and violent mask there was also a sweet side in need of love. And if he came back, it meant that he felt something, right? I couldn't say for sure if he's in love with me, but his eyes couldn't lie.

"You don't care who I really am?"

"You are you, and that's enough for me."

He sighed, getting up and dragging me with him and then holding me tightly in his arms. "What you did to me? I can't understand myself anymore. I feel so lost. Since I saw you again... I don't know what is right anymore."

"Your 'friend'... He told me everything."

"That son of a bitch.", he growled, moving his head to the other side.

"When you saw me that Sunday afternoon, what did you feel?", I dared to ask him.

"Kate, these questions annoy me...", he replied irritably, turning his gaze back to mine.

"Why don't you want to tell me how you feel about me? I said I love you... Is it possible that you don't care about my feelings?"

I was still in his arms, while he leaned his back on the arm of the sofa making me lie on him. He caressed my hair avoiding to meet my gaze.

"What do you want from me?", I asked again, kissing his lips: "Why did you come back?"

"I forgot some things, I had to come and get them..."

"So you didn't come back for me?", I asked disappointed.

"Kate... You know..."

"That I am a fool? Oh yes, I know perfectly well."

I started to get up, but Tom stopped me in time.

"I care about your feelings, even if I don't show it.", he revealed: “I care about you. Give me some time. I still don't really know what I'm feeling, or maybe I know, but I'm not good at these things..."

"I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you to leave either, however I don't know if it's right..."

"I love you..." I repeated.

“I'm a mess, Kate. Are you sure you love me? I don't think I'm capable of it at the moment. It's nice what you make me feel, but I can't handle it. If you stay here with me tonight, I'm afraid of not being able to control myself. You'd better go home."

At these words I was completely stunned. Tom got up leaving me sitting on the sofa. No, it could not end like this.  
I got up taking my bag and, pretending to have resigned myself, I headed towards the exit of the apartment. Tom remained with his eyes on the floor, he didn't even have the courage to look me in the face. The next moment I put my hand on the door handle, I unexpectedly turned around to him with a smirk that took him by surprise.

“Too bad, you lost the bet with your friend. You know, he gave me his phone number, I think I'll call him..."

Tom stiffend, suddenly changing the intensity of his gaze. "Stop that."

"Why should I?"

He clenched his fists looking at me. "You're not going to get fucked by that piece of shit."

"Ain't he a charming man? We certainly can't say he's ugly, don't you agree?"

As soon as I finished saying that sentence I saw Tom coming towards me. He took my hand away from the handle and dragged me away from the door. After a few steps he pushed me against the wall, with little delicacy but without hurting me. I dropped the bag on the ground as I found myself surrounded by his muscular arms and crushed against the wall by his body. I felt him sighing on my neck a moment before he slowly started going down with one hand. He aas shaking, perhaps from anger, or trying to control himself.

"What are you waiting for?", I whispered.

Our lips came together once and for all, and the kiss was immediately full of passion and desire. He slipped his hand between my legs, squeezing it tightly for the desire to feel it. I groaned, clinging to his body and, at the same time, I closed my eyes letting go completely. And when his tongue touched my skin I felt like I was going to explode. He was occasionally raising his head to watch me, looking at me with eyes full of desire.   
I nodded hesitantly, although I had no idea what he was thinking about. He lifted me slightly bringing his hands behind my back to unfasten my bra. I was trembling when he made me lie down on the bed, reclining on top of me, kissing my lips. After torturing me enough, he was starting to touch me again. I shook my head from side to side as he continued, knowing perfectly how to give me pleasure. When I was about to give in, he suddenly looked up to meet my eyes.

"Darling, calm down.", he said and reached my face by depositing wet kisses all over my body. 

"Are you afraid?", he asked, panting with a serious tone.

"Yes. But I'm afraid of what I'm feeling right now."

"I'm afraid too.", he revealed, leaving me completely speechless.

He sighed, looking me straight in the eyes and, after staring at me for some time, grabbed me by the waist making me lean my back on the back of the bed and spreading my legs with the clear intent to get inside. He stopped for a moment, but it didn't take long for him to get in with a strong and decisive push. Atrocious pain crossed my pelvis and, on impulse, I clung totally to him sticking my nails in his skin. After the initial pain I automatically started to move my hips against his, hearing him sighing.

“Fuck, you're driving me crazy." he gasped, kissing my lips again.

The pace of his thrusts increased and I could barely keep up with him. It seems indomitable. Whenever I found myself close to orgasm, he stopped and slightly released himself, only to start all over again. And when I couldn't take it anymore, I let myself go. It's a feeling I never experienced before, like I'm in another world. However he didn't stop. He continued for a while, giving me more waves of pleasure until, finally, he also melted. He collapseed on me, with his head pressed against my neck, a satisfied smile on his face.


	16. Chapter 15

The next day I opened my eyes and, for a moment, I couldn't understand where I was. But I immediately remembered what happened last night. Moving my head slightly enough I felt Tom's breath on my skin. He was practically laying next to me, in his bed, and was holding me in his arms. I started to smile like an idiot and definitely couldn't help it. 

"Kate?", he whispered in my ear. "Did you sleep well, Darling?"

Hell, he woke up too.

"Yes...", I answered, wanting to turn around, but he didn't let me.

“No, stay still. You know, I never found myself in this situation.", he concluded by kissing my neck lightly.

Suddenly he moved slightly away from my body and I took this opportunity to get up. However Tom did not allow me and grabbed me, carrying me down on himself. And then we were face to face.

"It was the best night of my life.", he said.

"Me too...", I murmured in a low voice.

"Hey, what's wrong with you?"

I sighed, trying to avoid his gaze. "I do not want to play. This isn't just a game for me..."

He forced me to look him in the eye, raising my chin with his fingers. "I haven't slept with a woman for what feels like centuries, isn't that enough to make you understand that I'm not playing with you?"

"Just answer my question, will you sleep with others?"

"Listen, I don't know what's going to happen... The only thing I know is that I woke up hugging you this morning. Darling, it's certainly not a declaration of love, but... It's already something..."

"I see."

"Anyway, as far as you're concerned, if you're close to me I won't go to bed with anyone else, other than you."

"And what should I do? Start stalking you like you did? What if I get distracted for just a moment and risk finding you in bed with someone else?"

“But no, Darling, that's not what I mean.", he laughed amused.

"I want to know what the fuck you feel for me, what does all this mean? I would like a little clarity in this matter."

"Did I really hurt you last night?"

"A bit."

"You will get used to it. Tonight... Would you like to see me again?"

"Tom! Fuck, I asked you questions and you keep changing the subject!"

A mischievous smile appeared on his lips that made me shiver.  
"I can't wait for tonight."

I started to tremble as I felt my face flare up like never before. Tom observed me amused, he knew well that with that sentence he managed to completely upset me.

"I'm going... I'm going to take a shower."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

"No. Better not."

As I took a shower I thought of his hands on my body. Sure, I was more than only exhausted but it was worth it. I felt alive like never before. And Tom? He was fantastic. However, I was afraid of ending up with my heart broken into a thousand pieces.  
I left the bathroom wrapped in a towel with the intention of literally flying to the next room to get dressed. However something prevented my escape. I saw someone talking to Tom, who was still half naked wandering around the house. Well, at least he made the effort to put on boxers, it's already something.  
  
"Kate. How cute you are this morning.", the man greeted me, coming towards me. It was the agent, again...

"Don't you dare!", Tom stopped him, staying in front of me.

"Look, I won't eat her, damn it.", he ironically laughed: "Kinda funny how possessive you are, Ellis."

"I know you...", Tom continued: "Don't put your eyes on my girlfriend!"

His girlfriend? Now I was about to pass out...

“Don't worry, I only came to congratulate you. You won the bet."

“She is not a bet, and you know it. Just don't piss me off."

“Could you stop talking as if I am not here? Thank you.", I intervened somewhat annoyed.

"Darling, why don't you go get dressed? He is leaving."

I turned slightly to look the man in the face, but his expression did not seem to have a great desire to go away.

“Don't tell me you blindly trust Ellis, Kate? We both know that there is nothing to trust, he is like that, we can't change him."

"Leave. Now."

"Yeah, okay, okay, I'm leaving. But I was just telling the truth..."

Before leaving, the man greeted me with a nod followed by an amused smile. Tom didn't seem happy at all. As soon as the door was closed, he turned to me worriedly.

“Don't listen to him. He's just... An asshole. He enjoys making fun of me."

"And why should he make fun of you?"

"Because... I... He... He knows that you are... That you are important to me."

Having said that, he did not even allow me to be able to reply, he immediately went to barricade himself in the bathroom.  
I waited for him to come out of the bathroom and, in the meantime, prepared breakfast with what I found in the fridge. There's not much, but at least I improvised something.

"Darling, are you ready?"

"What? Actually... I made you something to eat."

Tom seemed surprised. "Really? Thanks, I'll eat it right away."

Biting into the food he was still looking at me with that surprised look on his face.  
When we left the apartment he had his arm on my lower back.  
As soon as we got in the car, just before leaving, he brought a hand to my thigh, squeezing it tightly  
I showed him a Small smile as I reached out to touch his profile.

"Why... Why were you crying last night when you came to me?", he asked me suddenly.

"Oh... Nothing important, I just missed you."

I didn't know why I was lying to him. I needed to let off steam with someone about what happened, but to tell the truth I still couldn't believe it... I saw ten missed calls from my mother this morning. I should've called her, I know, I should've told her that everything was fine. Because it's not the end of the world after all, was it? Okay, I was adopted, but my 'parents' love me with all their heart, so what? There are far worse things in the world than learning that I've been adopted. I just needed some time to convince myself, to metabolize the news. And for sure I also had the right to go talk to my real parents to find out more about the whole situation. I wouldn't solve anything if I would've stayed in my house crying or not talking about my parents...  
  
"Now... Could you tell me who you really are?", I asked with a knot in my throat.

"Do you really want to know?"

“Of course yes, we're together, aren't we? In some way at least..."

"Yes, in some way."

"Well then, talk."

He stopped the car and, sighing, turned towards me with an expression that was not at all happy. I was ready for anything. However, I had to know how things really are. I had the right.  
We got out of the car and entered a Diner to have something to eat and, above all, to sit and talk quietly, without anyone disturbing us. I would have preferred to talk in the car, but better not to argue, it maybe could've changed his mind.

"So... Yes, what the man told you is true, but only partially. I did everything he told you, he exaggerated a little, but that's the game..."

"You too with this 'game'..."

"See... I am what he told you, I am a criminal and... I created the facade of the good man, of the actor, but only to be able to act without 'other attention'. And I want you to stay away from this whole story. Things got complicated with time, I made a lot of enemies... And yes, I killed people. But not that man he probably told you about, it was his right hand man. And his Boss wants me dead, he is a very, very powerful Boss. I decided to get out of that whole mess, I really tried. So right now I'm under protection from one of the most powerful espionage organizations... My 'friend' is part of it, but our friendship has nothing to do with it, it's another story. Then... I met you..."

"And why do you have to protect me?"

"Because... I told you, I have many enemies. They could take it out on you."

"That's it?"

“Yes, but you shouldn't underestimate the whole situation. It's very dangerous, and I don't want to get you involved in this."

"So... It's really all true.", I reflected aloud.

Tom took my hands in his. "Now my question is: Could you love a criminal?"

"Well... Could love a woman who doesn't give a shit about what you really are?"

He smiled looking at me with a special light in his eyes. All of a sudden, however, his expression changed radically. In a fraction of seconds I found myself thrown on the ground with him on me telling me to stay down. I heard gunshots and people scream in panic. The windows of the Diner ended up shattered by the bullets. Tom pulled himself up and unexpectedly started shooting too.  
I closed my eyes and brought my hands up to cover my ears. Within minutes I heard Tom talking to me in an attempt to open my eyes again. And I did, thank god it was over...

"Come on, we have to leave." 

He helped me back on my feet and, without even giving me time to look around, dragged me towards the car.

“Don't worry, they are gone..."

"Don't we have to wait for the police?"

“Darling, now I'm taking you to a safe place."

"What? Why?"

“Please don't ask any questions. We have to hurry... Tonight, I'll come and get you and then we'll go to your house. Is that good for you?"

"Why did you have a gun?"

"I'll give you the answer tonight."

“How are you going to tell me tonight?"

Not ten minutes later, with no time to continue that conversation, we already arrived in front of my parents' house. Before going away I looked at him somewhat exasperated.

"See you later, go now."

"And you don't even give me a kiss?"

Tom didn't have to think about it. He brought his lips close to mine and kissed me with passion, even if only for a few seconds.  
My mother took me in her embrace. She didn't stop talking and I couldn't even keep up with her. She dragged me into the house and, precisely, to my father, who seeing me immediately got up from his armchair to welcome me.

"I... I still have to digest it and try to understand. And to be honest I don't even know what to say, now, I'm in such a strange situation. I mean, you are my parents but... Yesterday I found out that you are not biologically my parents. However this does not mean that you are not my mother and father, I am old enough to recognize that the parents are those who raise the children, not those who make them. Nonetheless, I can't say nothing had happened, I'm pretty dazed because of the news. And I'd like to know more, if you don't mind..."

"But all that we know is what we told you last night, dear.", my mother replied, not knowing what else to say to me.

"You told me that nobody had filed a complaint, but that... Anyway... Someone brought me to you. Who did it? Do you know them?"

They looked at each other for several seconds, which made me understand that they know that someone perfectly.

"Speak, please. After all you just have to tell me the name of who brought me to you. It probably won't help, because I won't even know who it is, but it's important that I know..."

“Kate, we promised not to say anything to the police either. We said we found you in front of the door of our house. And it was a fairly credible story, there have been many similar cases."

"And why did you lie?"

"Because. He didn't want problems of any kind."  
That was my father's answer.

"Who? Who didn't want problems? What problems?"

The silence of them was quite irritating. I looked at my father insistently, until finally he decided to tell me that name.

"Tom."

"What? What does he have to do with all this? What does he have to do with me?"

"We already knew him because he was a friend of your brother, at the time he was only a young boy, and one day he knocked on our door with his father by his side and when we opened it, we found them in front of us with a beautiful little girl in their arms. His father told us that he had found you I don't remember where, and that he had brought you to us because we were the most reliable people he knew."

“Yes, as soon as I saw you, my daughter, I brought my hands to my heart. How much I had desired a child, and it was as if I you fallen from heaven. I remember... You were looking at Tom with those big big eyes of yours."

At that point I got up with my head completely on fire. “No, it can't be. What does this mean?"

So Tom knew everything?  
  
"Thanks for... For the information, but now I really have to go...", I said as I hurried to the exit.

I didn't even know where I was going, I should've called a taxi but I was too confused... My head was spinning when I suddenly heard footsteps behind me. I turned around, taken aback, when someone was hitting something on head, making me fall unconscious.

"Kate... Can you hear me?"

I slowly opened my eyes, but everything was blurred.

"And who are you?", I mumbled half asleep.

"My name is not important, but I welcome you to the Federal Bureau of Investigation."


	17. Chapter 16

I blinked several times, incredulous as I have never been in my whole life. The woman in front of me seemed to be nice. Then I remembered! The agent told my Professor he had a wife, if I'm not mistaken. Could this woman really be his partner? I was almost afraid to ask her. Besides, was it her who hit me and dragged me here?

"Don't be nervous, nothing bad will happen to you.", the woman reassured me, realizing my state of dizziness.

"Why am I here?", I asked, looking around.

“I won't be the one to tell you, my dear. You will soon meet the Boss."

The Boss? Oh hell no! I already imagined it: An old, sarcastic, cold man. No, I didn't want to meet any boss. The only boss I have dealt with was my Boss, but he had nothing to do with tough and authoritarian guys.

"Do you know a certain agent looking after me?", I asked after a few minutes.

"Are you talking about Agent 36?"

"36?"

“It's our code number."

"Okay then... So are you his wife?"

"Not even in his dreams!", She exclaimed, turning towards me, quite incredulous. “He told you, didn't he? Forget it, he's a charlatan. He enjoys telling stories of all kinds."

"I understand."

“He tries it all the time, he is unbearable. But not getting anywhere."

I nodded, without going further with the conversation. She was the second person who defined him a charlatan. All in all I still didn't know whether to believe Tom's story, let alone the fact what he had to do with my past. I had forgotten the last piece of information I received from my parents before I left their house. Who knew my real parents? Those people will probably have the answer to all my questions.

"Come on, the Boss is waiting for you." the woman suddenly announced, catching me off guard.

"Do I really have to go?"

"Yes, he needs to talk to you."

“And about what? I don't even know what the hell I'm doing here!"

"He will tell you."

I had no other choice. I went behind her, my legs shaking wildly. I really wanted to know why they brought me here, but it seemed that this woman had no intention of telling me. As if it was not enough to find myself out of the blue in the Federal Bureau of Investigation, without having done anything in my life... And if Ellis had anything to do with it, well, I was really pissed. I didn't want to get into his troubles, mine were already enough for me.   
Now the woman stopped in front of a door. She opened it and moved away with a nod to me to enter. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, standing still for a moment before trying to move my legs towards the room. As soon as I set a foot inside I stumbled. Opening my eyes, overcome by the initial fright, I saw a man in front of me. Not an old man, bad, cold and all the other negative things I imagined just before. No, just absolutely cool.

"Are you all right?", he asked, looking at me intently.

I only nodded. He helped me back on my feet without letting go of me. He was tall, muscular without being too tall, with bright eyes. He managed to silence me with only one glance. And his way of looking was frightening and fascinating at the same time.

"You're Kate, aren't you?"

"Yes, I... I'm Kate...", I managed to say.  
  
He smiled as he continued to keep his eyes on me. I saw his hand resting gently on my shoulder, and his expression was getting sweeter.

"You are equal to her."

"To... What? Who?"

The man looked away from me, taking a deep breath. "Come, sit down."

"Are you the head of this organization?", I asked as I sat down on the armchair in front of his desk.

"Yes. I am the Boss."

"I imagined you older, your are quite young."

“I admit that being a Boss, at my age, is somewhat strange, but you see... My father retired a couple of years ago."

"I understand. And can you kindly tell me why I am here?"

I saw him smile and turn to the window placing his hands on the marble. "Kate, you were informed by your parents that you are not their real daughter, am I right?"

"Yes, but how do you know?"

"You know you're with the FBI right now, remember?", he reminded me with a sweet smile.

"Yes, I understand, but what do I have to do with you? Is it because of Tom Ellis? If it's because of him, I'll tell you only one thing: I don't know anything."

"Ellis? No, he has nothing to do with what I'm going to tell you."

"Oh, then speak, please. I do not know what to think."

"Kate... I knew your mother.", he told me when he approached.

"What? My... My biological mother?"

"Yes, she was an agent...", he replied with a smile on his lips: "We were very close friends. And I swear you are just like her."

"My mother?", I stammered trying to understand. "A... An agent?"

“Yes. When I met her, we were about 18 years old, and we had been here for training. Your mother was beautiful, intelligent, everything about her was perfect."

"So she's definitely the opposite of what I am, then.", I muttered under my breath.

"You know, I think I have a picture of you somewhere."

"What?", I asked curious.

His face darkened: "She died shortly after your birth."

"What happened to her? What about my father?"

Just when he opend his mouth to answer my question, his cell phone started ringing. He sighed, quite frustrated. Maybe there were problems with some mission, who knew?

“Sorry, we have an urgency. We postpone our conversation to tonight, in a couple of hours, maximum three, I will be here again."

"Okay, no problem I guess."

"You'll meet the woman who got you here outside the door. She'll take you around the base."

"Oh... Okay."

"I will explain everything to you tonight, I promise. We will have dinner together."

Before I could even respond to his invitation, even though it seemed more like an order, he went out of the room like lightning. I took a deep breath closing my eyes and trying to sort the ideas in my head. Oh, hell... My mother was a agent. And she died shortly after giving birth. So far so good? No. I would've liked to go back to my house, in my beautiful bed, and forget about this. Besides, Tom had to come back and pick me up from my parents' house, so what if he did not find me there? Although I would've liked to know more about my mother, and not to forget about my father.  
The woman, as promised by him, took me to see the places of training and the various sectors within their base. It's an immense place, and it's all incredibly fantastic. During the sightseeing tour, I tried to talk to the woman so I can understand a bit more.

"Your Boss is a really charming man, I imagined him different.", I commented.

"Yes. He's a crazy cool guy, but no one seems to be better than him. Still he's no family man at all."

"Not even a girlfriend?"

“He has had a lot of girls. The problem is finding a real woman, a girlfriend, a wife. I think he had a kind of 'love disappointment' or something like that once."

"I understand. Well, it's a shame."

"Yes, we all think so."

"And of your husband... Sorry I mean, what can you tell me about Agent 36?"

"Don't be. Apart from the fact that he is a charlatan, he is a nice man. A little bit of a womanizer, but almost everyone here is."

"I understand, and you... Do You know something about a certain Tom Ellis?"

I saw her looking at me with a smile on her mouth. "Well, one half in here is lost in love with our Boss, and the other half with Tom Ellis."

"But... How is it possible? Do you all know him?"

The woman seemed to realize that she has said too much, but immediately returned to herself. "Of course, he's a... He's a famous actor, isn't he?"

"Yeah, of course, you are right, but I know that he is a kind of criminal and that you are protecting him. Is it true?"

"Look, honey, I was only in charge of getting you here, I can't answer your questions. The Boss will probably do it tonight when he returns. And between us, I think you have impressed him. He never brings anyone to dinner, and you've already received an invitation from him."

"It felt more like an order." I reflected aloud.

“Yes, the boss is very authoritarian. He does not ask for questions or requests. But after all, who could ever say no to him?"

"Sure... However, I don't think I impressed him, he just has to talk to me about something important."

She gave me another smile.   
After showing me the whole base, and confusing me enough, she told me that the Boss had just returned and was waiting for me outside. 

“Don't worry, Kate. We are not bad people, nothing will happen to you."

"Yes, I understand, but I can't help being so nervous. I'm going to dinner with someone I don't even know."

"He will certainly take you to his house, he is not an unconscious type, he knows what risks he runs."

"And what does that mean?"

"I told you that the boss will answer all your questions, I can't speak about it."

"Great! Not only will I have to go to dinner with someone I don't even know, but to his house too."

"Look, the Boss isn't a monster.", she pointed out: "Or are you afraid of being next to him because you know perfectly well that he isn't?"

1:0 for her... 

"No, I mean-...", I started, but got interrupted by the sound of something that the woman is holding.

“Got it, Boss."

I saw two men, quite robust, approaching with a serious face. When they reached us they were positioned next to me like two bodyguards.

"Now let's go, the Boss is waiting.", she told me.

I nodded my head slightly, as if to tell that I understood but that I was not at all feeling well. For sure this Christmas of mine would remain in my head forever... I had to force myself to think positively. After some time I would know the whole truth. Well, maybe it depended on the truth which would be told...


	18. Chapter 17

As soon as I set a foot outside the building I realized that I didn't knew that place, or rather, I've never been there in my life. And from what little they'd let me see, it seemed like a fairly deserted area. The two guards made me get into the limousine, where the Boss was waiting for me impatiently.

"Was the tour interesting?", he asked, realizing the blush on my cheeks.

"Yes, the woman was very kind, I mean... The agent..."

"Relax, nobody is going to hurt you."

"Yes, sorry."

“Don't worry, it's natural you're afraid. You don't know us, but we know you perfectly. What I care about most is that you understand that you are safe with us, you don't take any risks. My two guards are quite scary, I admit, but we are on the good side. Do you understand?"

"Yes, I understand...", I said in a whisper: "Thank you."

He managed to make me smile heartily. He was so kind, elegant, and knows how to reassure a person who is literally scared.

“To make up for this whole story, the kidnapping, and all the things I'm going to have to tell you tonight, I want to offer you a fantastic dinner. It's the least I can do."

"Dinner will be fine, I'm hungry to be honest."

"Yes me too. Besides, it's still Christmas. And, since we're here, I apologize for having ruined it. I think I've already become the most hated person in your eyes."

"A bit."

"Only a bit?", he asked amused: "Look, even if I look tough, I am very sensitive."

"We'll see what dinner will be like...", I added, pretending to be serious, but I couldn't. I burst into laughter after a few seconds.

"You have a really sweet laugh.", he commented, looking at me with smiling eyes. "And a beautiful smile."

"Do you do this with everyone?", I asked, according to the whole situation.

"No. Otherwise, by this time, I would already be kissing you, with your permission, of course. Instead, I sit here, a few centimeters away, looking at you, smiling at you, and telling you about the things I think, which may even be nonsense, but the answer is: No, I don't do that with everyone."

His words left me speechless, and the only thing I pronounced was a simple: "Okay."

In response, he smiled once again, and continued like this until we reached our destination. Before getting out of the car he told me to wait a moment. I did as he said and, after a few seconds, he came to open the door on my side.

"Look, I understand you're a gentleman."

“Yes, but a gentleman must always be a gentleman and not only pretend to be one. And I'm used to opening the car door to any woman. So this is something I do with everyone, and I will certainly not stop doing it."

"I understand, I understand.", I chuckled.

"Well, that's great. I've been making you laugh a couple of times already, I'm not doing so bad then."

I just smiled, while he offered me his arm. After a few seconds of hesitation, I grabbed it and, together, we entered an immense villa. I was definitely amazed when I realized that I had just arrived in a sort of Heaven. And next to me was a sort of Angel. Not that I had ever desired Heaven or Angels.

He took me to the room where we were supposed to have dinner, but he had to make some phone calls first so he left, promising to come back in ten minutes.  
I looked around and, after having sighed a couple of times, I went to the window to look at the magnificent panorama. And my thoughts went straight to Tom. I was with him last night, and it was fantastic. And today, I found myself who knows where, almost held hostage by some agency. I should've slapped myself, I know. I was in a beautiful place, with an Angel, and I started thinking about the Devil. There was definitely something wrong with me.

"When a woman looks out the window with that expression it means she is thinking of a man.", I heard him suddenly say.

"Oh...", I said by surprise finding him next to me.

"Is there any hope that that man is me?"

I moved my gaze to the floor, without knowing what to say. He realized that he had put me in trouble and, to remedy it, took my hands in his forcing me to raise my eyes.

"I didn't want to upset you, now come on, dinner is ready." 

Only a moment after pronouncing that phrase, he brought my hand to his mouth and kissed it gently.  
I could not help but melt because of that gesture, and I let myself be guided by him to the table. As a perfect gentleman he made me sit by pulling the chair backwards, then going to sit in turn. On the table were candles that made the atmosphere even more magical. It's all so romantic, and at the same time so strange.

“If I may ask... You gave me information about my mother today, but you didn't say anything about my father. Could you tell me about him?"

I saw his face change radically, getting darker and more serious. Did I ask the wrong question, perhaps?

“Kate, your mother was smart and very intelligent, I already told you today, but she was not perfect. Her biggest mistake was to fall in love with the wrong man."

"Why do you say that?"

"Talking about him... It's difficult for me, but I'll try, you deserve it. Your mother was an agent, as you already know, and in one of her first missions something went wrong. She fell in love with the son of one of our biggest enemies, one of the most powerful Bosses in the world..."

"So?"

"That man is still alive and well, and has taken his father's place, becoming even stronger than he was."

"So my father is alive?"

"Yes, he is alive. And unfortunately, he discovered the same thing about you."

"I do not understand, explain yourself..."

“We had warned your mother, but she eventually chose to go with him. She was in love, and was waiting for you. And it was her biggest mistake to leave everything for that man, I still regret not having done more for her, of not being able to change her mind, of not... Of not having saved her. But when we got there, there was nothing more we could do."

"What... What happened to her?", I asked with a knot in my throat.

“She was murdered by his father's button men. And the man who should have loved and protected her did nothing, he allowed her to get killed.”, he exclaimed, slamming his fist on the table. “And we believed you were dead too, just as your father and grandfather believed it. Until now..."

"Me? Dead?", I stammered incredulously.

"Nobody knew anything about you, you disappeared, and the only thing to think was that they killed you too."

"Just explain to me why it is bad that my father also knows that I am alive..."

“They are looking for you, Kate. But we will not allow it... We learned about your existence a little late, you see... The training starts when you're around fifteen, sixteen years old and you are already an adult."

"Wait... What training?"

“The children of agents become agents in turn. Besides, you have no other choice, you have to become one if you want to learn how to defend yourself from your enemies."

"I think... I think I need to drink something strong right now..."

"I think you'd better stay sober instead."

“Is this man, who would be my father, really that bad? Describe him to me, so if I see him I would recognize him..."

"He's a man of about sixty, yes... He was a bit older than your mother. He has silvery hair and dark eyes and he is quite muscular."

"So my mother fell in love with a criminal, and killed her?"

"We don't know if he did it exactly, but yes."

"Fantastic...", I mumbled, resting my elbow on the table and holding my face with my hand.

"You will start a very intense training and you will have to prepare yourself psychologically too."

“And is there no way to avoid all this? I always dreamed big, I admit it, but I never wanted to go to a place like Heaven, meet a boss of some agency behaving like an Angel, and be recruited as a spy! No, I wanted to study to become a Police Detective, marry the man of my dreams, go to live in a cottage, and have a child, a dogs, and I don't know what else!"

“Look, you will do it very well, honey. All spies have a second life."

"I can't even manage the one life I have right now, let alone two!"

“Okay, but calm down now. You will see that everything will be fine. I will be by your side.”, he tried to calm me down by going to cover my hand with his.

"If I may ask... Were you very close to my mother?"

"Yes, we were always together. She was my best friend, older than me, but she always was like a bigger sister to me.", he replied with a big smile.

"I think I am quite the opposite of what she was."

"I think you have yet to show others and yourself the best of you."

"The best of me?"

“You are the daughter of a secret agent and a criminal, Kate. You can probably be both."

He managed to make me smile for a moment. "And you're too kind."

"Would you like it if we eat now?"

I nodded hesitantly, after everything he had told me, I didn't have much appetite, but I haven't eaten for more than twenty-four hours. "I think it's the right thing to do, yes."

Throughout the dinner he did nothing but smile at me and looked at me reassuringly. He wants me to be as comfortable as possible, and he's doing it perfectly. For a few seconds I also forgot the myriad of information he gave me before, but only for a few seconds.

"I want you to listen to your mother's favorite song...", he suddenly informed me, getting up from the table to go and turned on a huge stereo, practically across the room.

And that melody was reaching my ears. For a moment I felt a shiver cross my back. I think it's because, years ago, that song aroused emotions for someone very important to me. And who knows if she thought of my father when she listened to it? A love song always leads you to think about the person you love. And, needless to deny it, right then I was thinking about Tom...

"Would you do me the honor of a dance?", he then asked, who had approached me while I was in my own world.

"Of course...", I answered, grabbing his hand.

He brought a hand to my side, taking my breath away for a moment, and was holding me close. "Don't be afraid."

"I'm not afraid."

"The Heaven you were talking about before, did you mean this place, my residence?"

"Yeah..."

"And therefore the Angel would be me?"

"Probably...", I answered in an almost perceptible whisper.

At that precise moment we heard a loud noise, caused by the breaking of glass, coming exactly from the direction of the window I was looking out about an hour ago.  
We turned around, both taken aback and, on the ground there was a man in a suit, standing with a bandana and Fedora, covering his face in front of us. The Boss held me even closer, while I was still realizing that a man has just entered his house through a window, shattering it into a thousand pieces and still remained unharmed.

"Damn Bastard. Keep your hands off my girlfriend!"

I opened my eyes to these words, and my surprise increased dramatically when the man pulled the bandana away from his face throwing it violently on the ground.  
  
And there he was. The Devil had just arrived. My Devil.


	19. Chapter 18

It took me a while to realize what was happening before my eyes. Tom just entered through the window, destroying it and remained unharmed. He came looking for me. I didn't know whether to jump because of joy, or to make sure he was okay.  
The man next to me exploded into a deep and nervous laugh. I looked at him rather appalled. What was so funny?

“Ellis, you've done enough trouble already, get out of here before I seriously lose my patience."

"I will go, sure. But with her.", Tom replied, looking away from him to me.

"Your mission is over. Kate is no longer your business."

"What?", I asked in horror: "What mission are you talking about?"

“He's a damn agent too, if you want to say so...”, he continued: “More of a double agent but yeah... And he's been in charge of keeping an eye on you for a while. He did it, also putting you in danger, but now he is no longer needed."

"What? Tom is that true?"

"I... Yes, he's right, I am. However this does not mean anything."

"It means you only told me a bunch of lies!"

"Not really, darling..."

"Oh come on! I am done with that bullshit! First you were a criminal, then you told me that you were under protection, and now? Now I discover that you are a double agent! I asked you to tell me the truth!"

“I couldn't tell you..", he justified himself immediately: "I had to protect you."

"But you hurt her. You put her in danger."

"Everything was under control!", he snapped. " I wouldn't let anything happen to her."

“Look, Ellis, if it was up to me I would have already thrown you out."  
The boss seemed to get nervous, clenching his fists and stiffen his jaw. "Go away."

"Without her I won't go anywhere."

"She won't come with you, get it in your head. You were the one who made all this mess. It is your fault that until recently we did not even know of her existence. Your damn father was there that day, when her mother was murdered and you were present too! And I swear to you, Ellis, if you have anything to do with the murder, I swear you'll pay for everything."

"What the fuck are you saying? You know perfectly well that I have nothing to do with what has been done to her mother! I was only-..."

"...-A child?", the man helped him.

"Yes!

"Oh come on. You hide something, and I'll find out soon what it is you haven't told us yet. My father may believe you, but I won't. Your father was a criminal and so are you!"

"I don't care about what you think. I just want it to be clear that I was in charge of protecting Kate, and I did. I protected her."  
Then he looked at me. "Darling, I only lied to you about my second 'job', but that doesn't mean I don't care about you."

"Really?, the boss continued: "You do remember that your apartment was full with video cameras right? Or don't you remember?"

And at that last statement I no longer felt the ground under my feet. "You... Cameras?", I stammered, at the limit of endurance.

"What? I knew nothing about that!", Tom exclaimed, perhaps more upset than I was.

"Oh you knew it, and you know I don't trust you."

"Bastard...", he muttered, looking at him contemptuously.

"Ellis, I don't care about you, but now that it's all over you can also go."

"Excuse me...", I decided to interrupt him: "Could you leave us alone for a moment? Just a moment..."

"Are you sure?"

I looked at him for a few seconds, taking a deep breath. "Yes, please."

He seemed to think it over, but eventually nodded and approached the door.

"Be careful about what you do...", he warned Tom, putting his hand on the door handle.

"You too.", replied the other, looking at him just as hateful.

After a few seconds of unbearable silence, Tom went a few steps towards me.

“Kate, I swear to you, I didn't know about the cameras."

"Don't come near me.", I stopped him immediately: "Why did you come?"

"Because you were gone. You know I wanted to come back to pick you up at your parents house, but when I came back you weren't there. Why did you leave earlier?"

"Because... They revealed to me that it was you and your father who brought me to them! I was upset, I didn't know what to think, you... What does it have to do with this whole story? Did you know my mother?"

"Yes, I knew her."

"Why did you take me to the Jackson's?"

"My father swore to her that he would protect you. And that seemed like the only solution. I was just a scared kid."

"And why hide me?"

"To avoid all this."

"How do I know you're telling me the truth?"

"I know, I told you a lot of lies, but... Kate, what happened between us last night... That was not a lie. You know I didn't want it to happen because I was afraid of hurting you, and the cause was... It was this. Who I am."

"I don't understand anything anymore. I thought I knew you, but now... Who are you really? Was it all still like acting for you? And the trouble you got into? That man who talked to you about drugs? What about the other one? I... I don't even know where to start!", I reflected aloud: "Was I a bet, a mission? What the fuck was I for you?"

"You weren't a bet!", he shouted, eliminating once and for all the distance between us.

"Tell me what I am for you.", I begged him, looking him straight in the eye. "Tell me."

"I...", he started and raised his hand to caress my hair. 

"Just say it and I'll go away with you."

Tom sighed, bringing his mouth closer to mine. He closed his eyes and I clearly felt his lips touch mine.

"Maybe you'd better go...", I finally said, looking down and avoiding his gaze.

"Maybe that's the way it has to be...", he replied in a whisper and the look on his face suddenly changed into something threatening: "You know what? When I kissed you, I didn't feel anything, no tingling in my stomach, my heart didn't beat faster, I wasn't nervous, I wasn't sweating, I didn't... I felt nothing! That is the truth. And yes, I should go, I don't even know why I came here! Yes, you were a bet. You were a mission. Nothing else."

"Well..."

"I don't feel like dying today. It's all an illusion, okay?"

"Tom..."

"No, I'm leaving, don't worry. And you'll never see me again. The Boss is there to take care of you. You don't need me anymore. You are in good hands."

He turned his back on me and went away, like a fury, towards the door. For the duration of his speech my heart had not stopped beating wildly. He just had to tell me he loved me, and I would've go away with him. I would have left even if I had the certainty that he was a criminal, or a murderer. All he had to do was say a few, simple words. But he didn't. And perhaps he didn't want to pronounce them, simply because it's so much easier. It was better to run away, to withdraw, not to love, not to live. I fell in love with the wrong person. I was ready to do everything for him, but he was not ready for anything for me. But I don't regret it. Why do we have to make life so difficult? It would all be simpler if there was no love. However I believe that without love, there would be nothing, there would be no life. So the only thing to do was to forget, and hope that one day everything will be clearer and easier.


	20. Chapter 19

The Boss needed a while to get back into the room. He probably talked to Tom. But would all those words, said in an ambiguous way, make any sense?

"I'm sorry, I didn't think that man could go that far."

"It's not your fault."

"He managed to escape my guards. Beyond belief..."

"Have you known Tom for a long time?"

"Since he joined the team. As I said, we are children of agents, but some of us are not. And Ellis is not."

"And why is he an agent then?"

"My father-...", he said with a hint of contempt: "-...has always seen in him who knows what great use. In my opinion he was wrong. All he did was cause us problems."

"What kind of problems?"

“His character, however harmless it may seem, has caused us a lot of trouble."

"I understand."

'"It was my father's idea to send him to you. I objected right away, I know what kind of person Ellis is, and I didn't want him to hurt you. But my father did not listen to me, he said that the matter was his, and that only he had to deal with it. If only I think that for all these years he kept hidden from us the fact that you were still alive I would kill him with my own hands."

"Don't worry, I don't think I'll ever see him again."

"I agree with you, also because I had to give him a new mission."

"So... Has he already gone away?"

"Yes. And for the next three months he will not return."

"Three months?", I asked stunned.

"It is better this way. You have to think about your training now."

"What? Now I regret not running away with him...", I mumbled.

"How did you make him change his mind? He seemed determined to only go if you go with him."

"Because I love him. And he doesn't. Or at least, he can't tell me."

"He can't love. Just forget about him."

Later the boss had one of his servants prepare a room for me. And, as I let myself be guided by the woman, I started to think how rich that man actually was. He was practically at the head of an empire. Maybe he inherited it from his father, and therefore it was maybe only luck? However, I believed he was just as skilled and intelligent as his father to maintain all that.

"Please come in."  
I saw the woman looking at me with an indecipherable expression.

"Wow.", was the only thing I could say.

"Is it to your liking?", she then asked me, always keeping her usual and, apparently, only expression.

"Of course, it's absolutely perfect!", I replied, rather appalled by her question.

Without adding anything else, she disappeared in no time, leaving me somewhat perplexed.  
Then, I automatically asked myself a question: What the hell am I doing here? I knew, my dad and his men wanted to kill me, just like they killed my mom...

At some point I heard a knock on the door. "Kate, can I come in?"

"Yes, go ahead."  
  
The Boss.

"I wanted to make sure you're fine."

"Yes, I'm fine, don't worry. I'm only a little dizzy about everything that's going on... But I'm fine."

“You will continue to live your life, Kate. You will become a Police Detective, you will marry the man of your dreams. You will have everything you want, even if you are an agent from now on."

"Well... Goodnight, then.", I answered, not knowing what to say.

"Just one question. This dream man of yours, how should he be?"

Good question. And what do I answer now?

"I don't know, he must simply be the man of my dreams, that's all."

"So you don't have a precise description?"

"No, he can be blond, dark haired, with blue, green, brown eyes or whatever. I just want someone to love and to trust me."

"Got it.", he smiled as he leaned against the door. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

When the bedroom door was closed, I only facepalmed. Damn, that man upset me. His way of walking, of speaking, were nothing but wonderful. He was kind, polite. Well, except when Tom came into his house through the window. And, to be honest, Tom was completely the opposite of him. Maybe that's why they can't get along. They are so different. And both so beautiful. Of course, probably in the situation I was in I should not think about men and focus on other things.

The next day, as soon as I opened my eyes I found myself in front of a figure looking at me with folded arms. If it wasn't for the rush to put a hand in front of my mouth I would have screamed in fright.

"Tom!"

"Hey..."

"What... What are you doing here? I thought you were gone?"

"How can I leave without saying goodbye?"

"I thought you were angry..."

"No. Not with you. With him yes."

I sighed as I reached out to touch his face. "What should I do?"

"What he told you..."

"But I'm not capable of it. Aren't you staying with me?"

"No, I can't. I... I can't do anything for you anymore. My mission is over, now I have another."

"But don't you care a little about me?"

"Darling, it is better to say goodbye like this. I would only make you suffer again. And I really don't feel like it."

"So this is a goodbye?"

"Yes."

"But... I love you... Please Tom... Don't leave me alone."

“And I don't, Kate. I don't feel what you feel."

"I do not believe you."

"It's better for me to leave now."

"No, wait."

"Kate... What should I do with you?", he asked, rolling with his eyes.

"Kiss me?"

"If I kiss you, I wouldn't be able to stop."

"Then don't stop.", I begged him.  
  
"I only used you, don't you understand? Well... I completed the mission, but it's over now. I don't feel anything for you. And you should forget me."

"Why are you saying this? That's not what you think."

"Don't try it..."

"Then why did you come?"

"To... To tell you to forget me. I have to go now."

He started to turn around, but I couldn't keep my mouth shut. "You are a coward! A fucking coward! You prefer to run away, rather than tell me how you feel! Okay, get out! Run away, if that's what you want, you don't deserve my love. I'm just a damn fool."

"Goodbye...", he finally said, opening the door and probably left forever.  
  
I went to the door, holding back my tears, putting a hand on my face, while I tried to repeat to myself that it's better this way. He would never change, and he certainly wouldn't do it for me.

When I left the room, I found myself right in front of the Boss.

"Did you sleep well?"

"Yes, thank you."

"Hey, what's wrong? Are you worried about something?"

"No, it's nothing, don't worry. I'm a little nervous, that's all."

"Today I will introduce you to the whole team. I want you to stay calm."

I simply nodded and we went to the team.

"Silence." With one word, he managed to silence all the agents in the room.

I was next to him, petrified and embarrassed enough for all those eyes that peer at me from head to toe.

"You know perfectly well the woman who is stands by my side right now. From today she will join our team. I myself will take care of her training, but I also expect your collaboration. You are all aware of the matter, we talked about it months ago, so I hope everything is clear, you know that it is not my habit to repeat."

His speech ended after less than five minutes. Intense, I must say. However, I'm glad it ended immediately, otherwise I would have died from the shame of having all those eyes on me.  
Unexpectedly I saw the woman who brought me there heading towards me, with a toothy smile painted on her face.

" Welcome, agent KJ."

"Oh, thank you. Well, could you explain why my name is made up of letters, rather than numbers like yours?"

She held back a laugh. "Because you are a Rookie. After the training you will receive your number. You will see that everything will be fine. We will help you."

After the short conversation I followed the Boss down a corridor that seemed to have no end.  
He stopped in front of a door and, at that point, turned to me.

"When you enter this room you will have to forget about everything else. There will be only you and me. Leave your personal problems out. In the morning you will go to university, you will live your usual life, while in the afternoon I want you to be here, ready to train with me. It will be an unusual and highly accelerated training, it will last about three months. I will try to prepare you, even if time is short. At the end of your training you will meet my father, and only then will you know what your mission will be about. Whatever happens, I will support you, I will be there for anything. Now, my question is: Agent, are you ready to start?"

"Yes.", I said: "I'm ready."


	21. Chapter 20

Some time had passed and the boss insisted on taking me to his house to have dinner. And to be honest, I just wanted to go back to my apartment and lock myself in my room, to think back to everything that had happened that.  
Tom had used an excuse to leave. But from the expression he had on his face, it was clear that my words had hurt him. I almost couldn't believe what I was seeing. The same man who, until recently, was unable to love, was then suffering for love.  
The Kate of three months ago would never have understood it, the one now, however, can see well beyond appearances.

I then felt him caress my back as he gently put his lips on my skin. It was sweet, really. But I didn't feel like it.

"Come on... Don't."

"What's wrong? You're acting weird. Don't tell me it's because of that idiot?"

“No, I'm just tired. I want to sleep."

"And I can't stand the way he looks at you.", he admitted with a sigh, putting his mouth back on my skin.

"Tim...", I called him back, by now finally knowing his name: “I told you I'm tired."

He made me turn toward him, so as to look into my eyes: "What am I missing tonight? Did something happen that you didn't tell me? Please tell me, Kate. I don't want you to hide anything from me."

I shook my head. "No, Tim, nothing happened. Don't worry."

"If only I could get rid of him...", he continued, looking down.

“No, look, you don't have to get rid of anyone. Forget him. Is it so difficult for you?"

“For the duration of the dinner he did nothing but undress you with his eyes. How can you ask me to let it go? I'm willing to bet he did it on purpose. He knows you're with me now, and he probably doesn't like it."

“I don't care what he thinks. And it shouldn't matter to you either."

"Kate, don't lie to me."

"Okay fine. Seeing him shocked me a bit. But only because I didn't expect to see him."

I saw him sigh and slowly approaching face. " Is it the truth? Are you sure? Look, it's absolutely normal that you still have feelings for him, it's been only a few months. The important thing is that you know ... which of us you prefer. And you know, don't you Kate? You know who is the best between me and him."

"Yes, I know.", I replied, perfectly aware of his almost total superiority.

"So tell me what you said to each other tonight."

"I told him that I don't love him anymore, and that I'm with you. And it is you who ... I love."

His face lit up. "Really? Did you tell him you love me?"

I nodded weakly as Tim brought our lips together once and for all.

"And is it true, sweetheart? Do you really love me?"

"Of course I do.", I told him, lying as I never did in my life before.

I embraced him resting my head on his strong shoulder. He held me close, happy because of the words I just said to him.

The next day I went with him together to my new work. I didn't know when my mission would start, but it was only a matter of days. My training was over and, according to Tim, I should be ready. And, to be honest, I really felt ready. Of course, ready for anything, except to face Tom Ellis again.  
As soon as we arrived the first person I met was agent 36, Shawn, about to let off steam, so I told Tim that I would join him later and then started going towards the man.

"From the look on your face, I deduce that something apocalyptic happened last night.", he commented, looking at me.

"Guess who was at the dinner? Besides Tim's father, of course."

"Let me think a little...", he joked: "A certain agent?"

"How did you guess that right away?"

"Just look at you."

"And what's wrong with me?"

"You're like 'Oh my hell, I've seen Tom again!'.", he explained, making fun of me.

"Is it so obvious?"

Shawn nodded: "Yes, Kate, I'm sorry. Anyway, tell me what happened last night. I'm curious."

I took a deep breath before I started explaining to him how things went. I told him everything in great detail and, more than once, he even laughed in my face. I knew I must've looked ridiculous.

“Then I told him that I'm with Tim now, and that I love him. And he... It was really bad. I've never seen him with that look on his face, I swear. I almost felt sorry for him."

“He is in love with you, Kate. However, you must understand that… Tom is like that, he will never tell you. He's the kind of man you have to look through by yourself."

He opened his mouth again, certainly with the intention of making me smile again, but right at that moment our attention was captured by someone else entering the scene. 

"Give yourself a hold, Kate.", Shawn whispered to me.

Tom had just arrived. With tousled hair, sunglasses, and a shirt unbuttoned across his chest. I sighed once more as I kept looking at him, feeling lost.

"Darling...", he exclaimed, as soon as he reached us: "Shut your mouth, I wouldn't want something else to enter you."

WHAT. A. DAMN. ASSHOLE.

Shawn chuckled, quite amused by his colleagues joke, while I drowned into total embarrassment. I would've liked to slap him, but at the moment the only desire I had was to rip that shirt off of him.

Yes, I had to be honest. At least with myself.

I saw Tom approaching again, eliminating the short distance that separated us. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, why?"

He shrugged. "I just wanted to ask you."

"And what about you? Are you okay?", I decided to ask him.

He opened his mouth, as if to say something to me, but in the end he looked at me without saying anything, with a strange smile painted on his face.  
At that moment, someone's screams interrupted us. It took me a while to understand that the pissed-off guy who's coming right at us was none other than the boss himself, Tim.

"Ellis!", he growled, approaching as fast as he could.

"What the fuck are you yelling at?"

But Tim did not respond. He grabbed Tom by the collar of his shirt, but he was able to instantly free himself from his grip.

"You were the one who turned everything upside down!"

What the hell was he talking about?

"Don't you dare put your hands on me anymore!"

“You are the rat, aren't you?", Tim continued, pushing him back: "You are the traitor!"

"What the fuck are you even talking about?"

They started arguing like two kindergarten children. And before they would've killed themselves, I decided to step in to put an end to their fight. I got in the way, without thinking about the consequences, getting a strong hit from the boss. Fortunately, I fell into Tom's arms, unharmed.

"Kate!", Tim exclaimed, mortified: "I didn't want to hit you! Shit I'm so sorry!"

"Stay away from her!", Tom threatened him and surrounded my waist with one arm.

"What? That's my girlfriend! You should stay away from her, not me!"

"Kate is not her mother, get it into your damn head!", Tom continued.

"What do you mean?"

"Leave him, don't listen to his nonsense. He doesn't even know what he's saying!", the boss tried to reassure me.

"Oh I do know what I'm saying!", the man replied: "You were in love with her mother and don't try to deny it!"

"What? You… Were you in love with my mother?", I asked shocked.

The boss remained petrified in front of those words. I could not believe it. He was in love with my mother, and now he was in love with me? That was absurd and ridiculous...

“That's not true, Kate. I loved your mother very much, but to me she was like a sister, nothing more. Besides, I knew she was in love with another man. However, this has nothing to do with what happened in my office this morning. Someone came in, and turned the whole room upside down. I'm willing to bet it was you, Ellis!"

“I I wouldn't even go to your office if I was dead. You have no evidence against me."

"We'll see.", the man concluded, and then turned his gaze on me. “Come on, Kate."

I turned slowly towards Tom. "Just leave..."

“Do you really want to go with this asshole?"

“We are together, remember?"

"Okay, I'll go then!", he exclaimed, pushing me towards his boss. "You're even more stupid than he is!"

Before I could've answered him, Tom has already disappeared.

"How much I hate him.", I heard people saying behind my back. "One day he will pay for everything."

"Tim... We need to talk."

I didn't think Tom lied, but I needed to know. I had every right to. What if the boss said he loves me just because he sees my mother in me? That would be a disaster...


	22. Chapter 21

As soon as we are alone, I immediately wanted explanations from him.

“Kate, I told you, I loved your mother very much. But we were just friends."

"And why, then, would Tom say you were in love with her?"

“Because he just wants us to fight. You know why."

"And why did you accuse him of being a traitor?"

“We knew that there has been a rat here for some time. One who passes information to our enemies. I've never been able to figure out who he was, and I'm ashamed of that. But my instincts have never betrayed me: I am convinced that it is Ellis."

"Do you have any proof?"

"What? Are you on his side too?", he asked, getting nervous.

“No, I'm not on anyone's side. But before you accuse someone, you need to have evidence against them. Otherwise you can't act like a madman! We are agents, right? Well, earlier you acted like two kindergarten kids."

"I know...", he admitted, lowering his head in shame: “But I can't stand that anymore. I told you, I don't like him being around you all the time. And before I got there, you were just talking to Shawn. I don't want you to talk to Tom, he drives me crazy."

“We were just saying goodbye, that's all. Don't be paranoid.”, I reassured him.

The man approached me, bringing a hand up to caress my face. "I don't want to lose you, you are the only beautiful thing that has happened to me in the recent years."

"You will not lose me. You just have to stop blaming Tom for everything."

Luckily, I got him to calm his nerves a little.  
During lunch, I decided to ask Shawn something about the "rat" thing. Actually, I didn't understand much about it. The boss was very vague, and I preferred not to ask any more questions.

“What is the first rule you learned in training?", Shawn asked me.

"Never trust anyone.", I replied. 

"Exactly. We are agents, they train us not to trust anyone, and it is normal to have traitors among us. Maybe when Tim's father was leading the team he had everything under control, but I can't tell you if there were no traitors back then too."

"He feels incapable, for this reason. He believes he is not doing his job well. But I know he is a really good agent, and a good boss."

"His only problem is just one: Tom Ellis.", the man informed me.

"Come on, it can't be his fixed thought...", I reflected aloud. 

“He always had a problem with him, for reasons unknown to me. But now that you're here, things have drastically worsened. Did you see his eyes today? There was hate, pure hate."

"He's just a little jealous.", I corrected him: "And anyway, in your opinion, could the traitor be Tom?"

"It could be anyone.", he revealed: "But Tom? No, I can't imagine that."

I sighed and brought a hand to my forehead. "What a mess. Also, I no longer know what to do with my situation..."

“Are you talking about the love triangle?"

"There is no triangle, Shawn!", I answered, while he already got up and went elsewhere.

Some time later I took the stairs to see how the boss was doing. But at the end of the second floor I realized that there was someone talking.

It was Tom.

"Stop it. You really are a son of a bitch."

Son of a bitch? He's definitely arguing.

"Come on... A little bird told me that you are suffering for love. Did you cry tonight?"

And it was Shawn who he was arguing with.

"I don't give a shit about her anymore! I told her she was important to me, even if I couldn't tell her my feelings! She just want me to say those three damn words."

"I love you? Are these the words?"

“And, as if that was not enough, she also gets screwed by the boss! I'm done with that woman. I don't want to know anything about her anymore."

And at that point I couldn't manage to stay hidden anymore. I clenched my fists and start climbing the rest of the stairs, with an uncontrollable rage in my body. Tom and Shawn turned abruptly towards me and, as soon as they saw me, their faces took on a completely different expression.

"How dare you offend me like this?"

"Go away!", Tom ordered, looking down.

"You are a disgusting!"

"Don't say things you might regret...", he whispered grabbing the back of my neck with arrogance.

wanna know what I regret? I regret telling you I loved you.”, I admitted, with tears in my eyes. “But I'll never regret telling you I hate you."

"I could change your mind with just a kiss.", he continued, hinting at a fake grin.

"Do it, and I swear you'll regret it.", I threatened him, facing his gaze with courage.

Tom didn't have to repeat it twice, tightening my neck and drawed me to him, in a violent way. He brought our lips together in a hungry kiss. As soon as he put his tongue in my mouth, I didn't miss the chance to bite on it. Tom stifled a groan of pain and, tightening his grip on me even more, deepened the kiss. However, he went on anyway. And I was starting to lose my energy. That violent kiss got gradually more and more sweet and deep. Without realizing it, I found myself with my back against the wall pushed by his body. I couldn't find the strength to end that kiss. All the anger I had vanished away.  
How I had dreamed of those lips, in those three months without him. How I had wished I could taste his mouth once more.  
He is Tom Ellis after all...  
He then ended the kiss slowly, without being in a hurry. And, before pulling away, bit on my lower lip.

"Do you still hate me?", he asked, out of breath.

"Fuck you."

"Darling...", he continued: "You don't know how much I wanted to kiss you."

I realized at that moment, that he had blood on the sides of his mouth. Surely it's because of the bite I gave him.

"Never try to kiss me again.", I told him, taking a few steps away: "We are done."

"Be careful about what you say."

I turned around and walked away, trying to mask my emotions. I mentally insulted myself for having felt all those sensations while he was kissing me. If there was a way to erase him from my memory I would've done it instantly.  
As soon as I entered Tim's room, the boss greeted me with one of his inevitable breathtaking smiles. His expression, however, suddenly changed.

"Why do you have blood on your lips?", he asked, approaching worried.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing, I bit myself on the tongue while I was eating..."

"Well... I have something to tell you.", he informed me, drawing me to him.

"I hope it's something nice."

"You will start your first mission in exactly a week.", he announced.

"Oh, okay... And would this be good news?", I muttered.

Tim shook his head. "The night before we will throw a party to finally welcome you to the team."

"What? A party? For me?"

"Sure. You deserve it darling.", he concluded, giving me a tender kiss on the lips which felt completely different.


	23. Chapter 22

And so, a week passed of total anxiety and nervousness. Tom didn't understand a damn thing about what I yelled at him the last time we met, as he kept on greeting me, every fucking morning, with that strange atmosphere between us. Yet just that "Good morning, darling." wass enough to ruin the whole day.  
On the night of my honor party I noticed that the boss too was a little nervous. I was even afraid to ask him what's on his mind. Yesterday he informed me that Tom was not invited to the party. I didn't say anything, I just nodded. After what he said about me, he didn't deserve me to defend him. At least I would be able to spend a quiet evening, and in good company, without that troublemaker buzzing around me.  
And, luckily, everything was going perfectly. Time passed in a flash between laughter, jokes, and chatter. After eating something, the dancing began. Tim dragged me to the floor for a slow dance and, even though I would've liked to stay seated, I decided to please him. Other couples joined us, creating an atmosphere of absolute romance.  
Suddenly, while I was still in his arms, someone grabbed me by the arm, in a bad way, and dragged me away. I didn't even had time to realize what was happening and found myself in the midst of all the other guests, without the boss by my side.

"Tom, what the hell!", I exclaimed, pissed and already annoyed.

"Shut up. Just dance with me."

"I was dancing already!", I continued and, in the meantime, without realizing it, I let myself be carried away by him in the dance.

“Darling, could you avoid talking about him for at least five minutes?"

“He's my boyfriend, and he's at the center of my thoughts, what are you gonna do about it?", I replied sarcastically.

"I know...", he said, looking at me strangely.

"No, you don't know shit."

“Just because I can't say those fucking words, Kate, doesn't mean I don't feel anything for you."

“If you can't tell them, Tom, it means that what you feel for me isn't that strong."

"I want you.", he admitted, drawing me to him.

I freed myself from his grip and, once my back turned around, I found myself face to face with the boss.

“Leave him alone...”, I whispered to him: “Do it for me."

He nodded and, after throwing a dirty look at Tom, took me by the hand, dragging me back to the center of the room.

"Now there's the surprise...", he suddenly announced, immediately changing his mood.

The music was turned off, and a guy approached with the microphone in his hand. He gave something to the boss, and all the guests turned their attention to us. Tim was also staring at me strangely.

"Kate, it may seem absurd to you and even a little too soon, but… Since I've seen you I can't help thinking about you. You entered my heart right away, and-..."

WHAT THE HELL WAS HAPPENING?

"Please don't tell me no...", he continued putting a hand in his trouser pocket. "Will you marry me?", he asked me, pulling a beautiful ring out of his pocket. 

OH HOLY HELL!

"What?", I stammered on the verge of disbelief: "To marry you? But..."

"I know, it's early, but… I knew from the first moment I looked into your eyes that you were the right woman for me."

I felt myself fainting. I looked around and, absently, I glimpsed at Tom trying to keep his calm.  
No, I couldn't accept. It would be too much. I didn't love him, I love that asshole who, right now, I couldn't stop looking at.

" I love you, Kate."

His voice brought me back to reality. And I couldn't help but melt, in front of that declaration.  
After all, he loved me, he would never have trouble telling me, and he was a good, kind, polite man. I'd be stupid not to accept.  
I looked one last time towards Tom and, keeping my gaze fixed on his, I answered with determination. "Yes, I want to marry you…"

I've made tons of mistakes in my life, but agreeing to marry him far surpassed them all.  
Fortunately, I convinced him to let me return to my apartment for this evening. I needed to be alone with my thoughts, and reflect. But about what exactly?

I closed my eyes trying to fall asleep, but with what had happened I would never be able to sleep.  
Suddenly, just as I was about to set foot in the world of dreams, I felt a weight on me. Literally.  
I opened my eyes, not understanding, and I found Tom above me.

"Am I dreaming?"

He chuckled softly. "No, darling, you're not dreaming. If you would dream I don't think I would have clothes on."

"And how did you manage to materialize in my room?", I asked again, blinking.

“I just rang the doorbell. Your friend opened it and I went into your room. That's all."

"What shitty agent you are...", I answered ironically.

"Shut up, nobody can interrupt us now. You are all mine."

"Whatever you say, I'm dreaming.", I concluded, convinced that it was all a dream.

Tom chuckled once more, and then brought his hands to my shirt. "Darling, now I'll make you dream. And I'll make your dreams come true."

He lifted the garment up to reveal my breasts and, as soon as his mouth went down to rest on them, my eyes widened in surprise. At first he deposited small and warm kisses, sighing and making me, in turn, sigh. I moaned as I felt his tongue moving gently and, in the meantime, he slipped his hand downwards. I flinched as soon as he touched me, almost making me scream with pleasure. And I couldn't help but moan out loud. After passing and brushing my tongue over my breasts, he went down my body continuing to deposit kisses on my skin. I put my hands in his hair holding it tight.

"Now don't scream, darling.", he whispered, barely looking up.

He left a trail of kisses causing indescribable shivers down my spine. My head was about to burst at the sight and feeling of him, between my legs, with desire. Just hearing him sigh too made me excited to death. I still moaned aloud, without any control and, inevitably, I melted, feeling a fire burning with passion for this man who was driving me crazy.

He got up and reached my face. “I've been wanting to do this for some time."

"Tom..."

“You know, it had been a while since I did this to anyone.", he revealed, moving dangerously close to my face.

“Oh, and why did you do it to me?"

"Because you can ask me anything..."

“And when would I have asked you to do such a thing?"

“Every time you look at me, darling."

"That is what your mind tells you."

"No, that's what your eyes tell me."

After he stopped talking, he sat in bed next to me, with the excuse that he has to inform me of something.

“I've done my research and… Yes, there's a rat among us. I thought it was just a the boss' hallucination, but I was wrong. However, the traitor is not me, and this is very strange indeed."

"You have no idea who it might be?", I asked, curious to know more.

“No, it could be anyone. But I'll keep my eyes open."

"Why should you do this? You're not the boss.", I pointed out to him: "It's not your responsibility."

“The rat in question, the traitor as you please, is passing information to our enemy number one. And our enemy number one is also your enemy number one. So you could be in danger every day."

"Oh...", I only managed to say.

"I'll be your shadow, don't worry.", he reassured me.

"What? No! I don't want you to get any closer, let alone become my shadow. Forget it. I'm getting married, don't you understand?"

“We'll talk about this ridiculous marriage business after dealing with the other issues, darling."

"And what do you have to fix? Do you want to be my witness, by any chance?"

He looked at me seriously and, suddenly, put our lips together in a small and sweet kiss. “I still have the taste of the bloody kiss we gave each other the other day in my mouth."

"Don't make me remember.", I advised him, remembering the day.

“I'm sorry, Kate. I was just jealous.", he admitted, leaving me speechless.

"I... I better sleep, tomorrow will be a tiring day..."

"Yes...", he announced, trying to get out of bed.

Before he could escape me, I grabbed his arm and draw him back to his place. "Where the hell do you think you're going?"

I did not have repeat it twice when he smiled and literally threw himself on me.  
Who cares about tomorrow?


	24. Chapter 23

It's been three months since I started my work, and things have changed. Tom never showed up, I didn't know anything about him. The boss, on the other hand, was close to me, in every difficulty. It was thanks to him that I managed to survive all the tests they subjected me to. It was tough, but in the end I made it.  
I was not the same person I was three months ago. Now I saw everything with different eyes.

"I love you, Kate.", Tim whispered on my shoulder, kissing my skin.

I smiled, but didn't answer. I remembered the last time I said these words to a person, and I couldn't deny that I still felt bad. It's too early to be able to say them again. Especially because was not sure how I felt about everything.

"Do you still think about him?"

"Who?"

"Ellis."

And the words died in my throat. I could not do it.  
He understood and, after a few seconds, hugged me from behind holding me close to him.

"Excuse me...", I whispered, biting my lip to stop a few tears escaping my eyes. 

“You don't have to, sweetie. You'll see, everything will be fine. I'll never leave you, don't worry. That asshole won't hurt you anymore. I promise you. He will have to deal with me first."

I sighed and surrendered to his sweet warmth, but I knew in my heart that what I felt for Tom will never go away. For a moment I even thought I could forget him, but I realized it's impossible. And I felt empty, so empty it hurt.

"Saturday evening I will introduce you to my father.", he he informed me: "I told him about you, he can't wait to meet you."

"Did you also tell him about ... us?"

“I mentioned something, but he doesn't know you're my girlfriend. Don't worry, it will be a quiet dinner. Just the three of us."

“Of course, I'm not afraid of your father. It's just… It embarrasses me."

"Are you embarrassed that the two of us are together?", he asked, making me turn towards him.

"At the headquarters there is gossip about us, they know that there is something between us, they are not stupid."

"So what?"

"And that situation is very embarrassing to me.", I admitted, looking down.

“Listen, honey, we're not doing anything wrong. It is normal for there to be gossip. The important thing is that they do not become too exaggerated, otherwise I will deal with it myself."

I nodded as he brought his lips to mine. I let myself be kissed, and I must say that he was a great kisser. But I didn't feel any butterflies in my stomach. It wasn't like kissing Tom. Only at the memory of his lips brushing mine did I feel a sea of emotions. Was it possible that, despite having a beautiful man by my side, I couldn't get that man out of my head? No, perhaps the problem was not so much the head as the heart. Damn heart that speeds up when it shouldn't!

Otherwise everything went as he told me. The training was booming, I managed miraculously to pass the exams, now I was preparing to follow the lessons of the second semester.  


"There you are.", my best friend said, as soon as I stepped inside the house, coming home.

"You were waiting for me?"

"Is it possible that you go out every day at eight in the morning and come back at eight in the evening?"

"Please...", I told her exhausted, walking towards my room.

"No, no, no! Now you spill the tea. You have a boyfriend, don't you?", she asked, following me.

I turned around so as to satisfy her once and for all. “Okay, yes: I have a boyfriend. Satisfied?"

A second of total silence passedby, in which my friend seemed to have lost her words, which was almost impossible.

“And this guy doesn't have a name that starts with T and ends with another M, right?"

"Well, actually yes. His name is Tim."

She opened her eyes wide. "What? That's probably only Tom's fault!"

"What do you mean?", I asked shocked.

"Oh... Forget it. You know what I mean girl. And when will you let me know him?"

"Never." I turned around with the intention of going to lock myself in my room.

"Why? I have every right to get to know him!"

I closed the door in her face, and she kept talking for a few more minutes. When she finally closed her mouth, I threw myself on the bed, staring at my mobile phone for at least two minutes. How I would've liked to call him and hear his voice... Was it possible that he had already forgotten about me? I insulted myself every day because I couldn't help but think so. I shouldn't even spend five seconds of my life thinking about him anymore. Instead I did and that a lot. About how much I missed the kisses of that of him.

At the headquarters, in recent months, I have had the opportunity to get to know Shawn better, along with other agents.  
And Saturday unfortunately arrived soon, too soon. I was so nervous I had to let off steam to someine. So I talked to him. After all, he was aware of my relationship with the boss.

“Tell me about his father. He was once your boss, wasn't he? Describe him to me."

“Hell, Kate, stay calm. After all, it's just a dinner."

“Yes, but Tim wants to tell him about us too. And I... I don't know..."

“You're not sure yourself about this relationship. Or am I wrong?"

"No, you're not wrong at all.", I admitted: "The other day he said he loved me, I didn't answer him."

"Kate, damn you.", he scolded me: "I told you."

“Don't tell me again, please."

"But I do! You are still in love with Tom! It is useless to pretend that this is not the case."

"I thought I was in love with-...", I started but he interrupted me.

“Maybe you have a crush on him, but now you know who it is you really love."

"The person I love does not deserve my love."

And now? Tim will introduce me to his father tonight and tell him about us too. If I don't love him, maybe, I should be honest with him, right? The thing was, how the hell was I supposed to tell him I'm still in love with Tom? And that I thought I felt something for him, but I was wrong? This whole mess was just one person's fault. And it was better not to even think of his name.  
And the evening, unfortunately, arrived. Tim insisted on picking me up, despite telling him it wasn't worth it. Needless to say, as soon as my best friend heard that my boyfriend was coming to pick me up at our house, she went crazy. 

"Oh! I can't wait to meet the man who made Kate forget Ellis."

"Will you please stop? I'm already nervous enough."

"Listen, honey. You know what I've been through for like a decade hearing you talk about Tom Ellis here, Tom Ellis there, Tom Ellis ate this, Tom Ellis drank that, and so on. Now, if you'll allow, I want to thank that man, surely sent by the almighty Lord, who made you forget him. Yet, I still don't believe it."

"Are you done?"

"No. Tell me a little about him, let's go. Did you meet him at the faculty? Is he nice? Intelligent? Is he a poor fellow? A billionaire?"

“None of your business."

“Oh hell you have problems. Are you sick or something?"

"He's the boss ... where he is working..."

"Oh I'll take back what I said about your problems. You are healthy."

"Now, please stop it." I got nervous.

"It was too good to be true."

At that moment, to save me from the embarrassing situation in which I was, the doorbell made its sound.   
As soon as I opened the door to let him in, my friend gasped. Yeah, I had to admit he looked really nice tonight.

"Nice to meet you!", she yelled at him, holding out her hand.

I grabbed Tim and dragged him out of the door, but before I could cross the threshold I felt her taking me by the arm.

"He's perfect. If you let him go I'll kick you out of the house."

“Thank you for the warning."

During the ride in the limo he didn't take his lips off mine for a moment. Not that minded it, but I was way too nervous. 

"Honey, can I know what's wrong with you?"

“I'm just a little nervous..."

“You have no reason to. Everything will be fine."

“Let's see how things go..."

"As you want.", he concluded, breaking away from me.

I hope it's really true what he said. I couldn't help but be so anxious. Maybe he was right, there was no reason to be nervous, but I felt a knot in my stomach. I felt that something would happen.


	25. Chapter 24

We got out of the car and, before entering the huge building, Tim gave me a light kiss on the lips, as if to make me understand that he was by my side to help me. We continue holding hands, and from time to time I looked at him to give myself some courage.  
A lady in her fifties opened the door for us to welcome us, after which she informed us that Tim's father was waiting for us in the next room. We entered the hall, where the host was waiting for us, with a big smile on his lips. I immediately noticed a table prepared for four, and my body sstiffened stiffens. Then I moved my gaze a little and saw the gentleman, his father, intent on talking to another man with his back turned towards us. And now that knot in the stomach reappeared, this time it hardly allowed me to breathe. I squeezed Tim's hand tightly as I started to feel my legs getting heavier and heavier. His father greeted us with a smile and, at that point, the other man turned towards us. My heart skipped a beat and I sighed as my eyes were devoured by his. His so deep and magnetic eyes...

"What is he doing here?", Tim asked, taken aback.

But his voice was barely audible to me. I felt my head on fire, as well as my chest and stomach. I couldn't describe Tom's expression at this very moment. I just know that the more he looked at me the more I felt like I'm dying. Then I saw a little smile on his lips. And while he smiled, I trembled like never before.

“You must be Kate. I'm happy to meet you.”, Tim's father said as he went on to meet me.

"Thank you... It's my pleasure as well, Sir.", I replied, clearing my throat.

“You haven't answered my question yet.”, Tim interjected: “What's THAT doing here?"

" Let's go talk privately, son.", his father then suggested. "Don't worry, Kate, we'll be back in a few minutes.", he reassureed me.

His father dragged him out of the room leaving me alone with Tom...

I guess I have never been more embarrassed than in that moment. I kept my eyes fixed on the floor, while Tom's were glued to me. It was impossible not to perceive it. I knew if I dared to look up to meet his face I would've risked fainting, so I'd rather look at these adorable cream-colored tiles. Suddenly I heard his footsteps getting closer and closer. Damn, I was one step away from feeling bad and what did he do? He approached me.

"So now you are already meeting his father?", he asked, brushing my chin with his fingers to force me to look him in the eye.

"And what does it matter to you? You are gone, aren't you?"

“You get screwed by that idiot..."

“None of your business."

“You're trembling, darling."

"Because of anger.", I defended myself.

"No. It's because I'm here.", he whispered, getting too close to my face.

I saw his expression change, becoming more and more serious. He looked at my lips, then my eyes, and finally sighed.

"Don't even think about it, baby. You won't get any kisses from me."

"I don't even want some... "

He shook his head, smiling. “ No, no, of course not. But since you got involved with with that asshole, I'm very angry with you."

“So what?"

At that moment, Tim and his father interrupted us. Otherwise… I would have passed out for sure. Tom took a few steps back, while he and Tim glare at each other.  
We sat down to have dinner, but Tom's gaze didn't leave me even for a moment and I couldn't really eat with him watching me.

“So, Kate... I want to tell you about your first mission.", Tim's father told me. "My son told me you're ready."

"I thought so too.", I muttered.

The old man only laughed.

I was referring to the fact that, after that training, I thought I was ready for anything, to overcome any problems and obstacles I encountered along my path, including a certain 'actor'. Instead, as soon as I caught his eye I started trembling.

"You will have to infiltrate your real father's villa.", he revealed shortly after.

"WHAT?"

“Calm down, I'm sure you can do it. You are your mother's daughter after all."

"I... I don't understand anything anymore! Doesn't my father want to kill me?"

“Yes, but he only knows your name is Kate Jackson, he has never seen you. And, even if you look a lot like your mother, by making some changes to your appearance you can be sure that no one will recognize you."

"What do you want to do to me?", I asked worried.

“Easy, Kate.” I felt Tim's hand cover mine. "We'll make sure you look different, nothing special."

"Okay..." I took a deep breath."And why should I infiltrate his villa?"

"He is one of the most powerful bisses in the world, and we are going to frame him and the Mafia.", he explained: "And we need to understand what happened to your mother. That case has been unsolved for too long."

"That she goes alone is out of the question.", Tom suddenly said: "It's dangerous."

"Are you talking about yourself? You were the first to hurt her.", Tim accused him.

"All I did was protecting her."

“You took her away, making us believe she was dead. Plus you took advantage of her, only to break her heart. Isn't that how you can hurt someone?"

"Son..."

"I...", I interjected, quite embarrassed. "Excuse me but I need to go to the bathroom."

Tom no longer knew what to say about the accusations. My boyfriend managed to piss him off. Although I would have preferred he didn't say anything about what he did to me. 

I finished washing my hands and started to leave the bathroom, but as soon as I turned around I saw the door open and Tom just entered. I backed away, caught off guard, as he locked the door again.

"What are you doing? I do not want to talk to you."

"Is it true that I broke your heart?"

"Are you really asking me that?"

"And you immediately took refuge in that asshole's arms, you wasted no time...:

“Look, if that's what you wanted to tell me, you'd better let me out."

“No... I just missed you so much, darling..."

"I don't believe you."

"You don't know how much I want to kiss you...", he revealed, taking a strand of my hair.

“Don't even try it."

But Tom grabbed me by the waist holding me close, while I tried in vain to free myself. But I actually didn't want get away from him...

"It's okay...", he whispered, lowering his head to deposit kisses on my bare shoulder.

"Tom..." I closed my eyes, without putting up any resistance while he looked at me with an irritating smile.

He laughed ."Fuck... I'd like to kiss you, but I won't."

"And why not?"

“Because I'm angry with you."

"Fuck you."

He laughed again. "But I still have a mad desire to kiss your lips. How stupid... You want me, right? I bet that asshole can't please you like I can."

"Why did you leave?", I asked him out of nowhere, yet feeling a wave of pleasure.

“To protect you, darling."

"Bullshit."

“I think I have nothing else to offer you."

"And why are you here? Why are you touching me? Why do you keep hurting me?"

“Because I realized I can't be without you."

A tear escaped my eyes and Tom immediately stopped it. 

“It's too late now. I have a boyfriend now..."

"But you love me.", he exclaimed, placing his hands against the wall so as to block me.

"What about you?"

"Don't ask.", he whispered, leaning his forehead against mine.

“You know... Tim said he loved me. He said it. Why not you?"

"Kate... Don't trust him."  
  
He shook his head, without adding anything anymore. We were so close. Too close... He tried to get closer to my mouth, but just when he brushed my lips, I decided to dodge away. 

“Get over it..."

Suddenly it seemed like as if he lost all his strength. I managed to get rid of him and walked towards the exit, but, before I turned the key and opened it, I turned to look at him once more, and he did the same. Maybe I was hurting him with those words, but I didn't care at that point, so I turned the key and left the bathroom. But right after closing it behind me I stood still, thinking about that situation that had just happened. 

His expression was clearly that of a wounded man.  
And if I managed to hurt him, that meant he loved me.  
He really loved me.  
He loved me and couldn't say it.

The ones who really love you are those, whose voices trembles in saying it.

And I started smiling like a fool...


	26. Chapter 25

In a few hours a new chapter of my life was about to start.

I would 'meet' my real father. I had to infiltrate his home and, above all, I had to try not to be discovered. I was trained for this mission...

But now, lying in my bed, I couldn't sleep. I think it's been two hours now that my eyes, enchanted, do nothing but look at him. Tom was there with me, lying on my bed, with his eyes closed. After we kissed for a long time, he put his head on the pillow and wrapped me in his embrace. I couldn't say for sure if he's sleeping or not, but I couldn't stop looking at him. I sighed several times, continuing to contemplate him, without the slightest intention of lowering my eyelids and resting.

At one point, I couldn't resist anymore, reaching out and bringing my hand to his face, starting to gently caress him.

" How beautiful you are...", I let it slip.

I saw a strange smirk painted on his lips. No, he wasn't sleeping at all.

"Darling, you need to rest.", he whispered, opening his eyes.

“I'm not tired. I want to keep watching you sleep...", I informed him.

"Kate...", he resumed: "I was not sleeping. I can't if you keep staring at me."

"I don't know what you did to me...", I reflect aloud. "Your kisses have completely numbed me. I don't even know what's coming out of my mouth..."

"You are impossible, a day ago you wanted to kill me, wishing I was dead and now you almost jumped on me."

"I'm just looking at you.", I corrected him.

"You're eating me with your eyes, darling.", he answered, bringing his mouth close to mine.

"I... I have just agreed to marry a man... Beautiful, sweet, kind, caring, and now I find myself in bed with another man who's like an total asshole, bastard, overbearing, so different but..."

"How nice."

“That's a fact, you know."

"Oh yeah? And my caresses? My kisses? The way I ... make love with you? What about those facts?" 

I started to smile like a fool. "Did you say ... love?"

"Yes, I said it, but don't think too much about it, darling. ", he continued, blushing.

"And you blushed.", I commented.

"Stop it!", he said, lowering his head. "Now sleep, don't make me angry."

"What would you do to me otherwise?", I asked, challenging him.

“ I'll make you shut up..."  
He pulled me to him, holding me against his chest.  
“Now sleep, darling."

I obeyed and let myself go into his arms. And, in a single heartbeat, I drowned into the world of dreams.

The next morning, when I woke up, I realized that Tom wasn't there anymore and suddenly, my bedroom door opened wide. I found myself overrun by some women, followed by Tim...

“Honey, did you sleep well? They will take care of changing your appearance."

The boss came over to give me a quick kiss on the lips and, at that contact, I couldn't help but think about the last night...  
I was still half asleep, barely knowing where I am, and they literally threw me out of bed. I didn't want to imagine how these women would treat me.  
And while the women went crazy about torturing me and my appearance I couldn't help but wonder what happened to Tom. Maybe he left because he knew they would come? Damn, I at least wanted to say goodbye. Who knows when I'll see him again...

After exactly two hours, I was finally ready.

"That's it!", exclaimed one of the four women. "Now you can look at yourself in the mirror."

To be honest I was somewhat afraid to do so...  
I opened my eyes…. In front of me was a blonde girl, with wavy hair, deep brown eyes, with a rather short skirt, and a decidedly low-cut T-shirt. Not to mention those, I don't know... bricks on my feet...  
  
This was definitely NOT me.

At that very moment, Tim entered the room. "Wow! " That was the only thing he had to say.

“I look ridiculous.", I said, not at all sure if I wanted to set foot outside looking that way.

"Kate, you look stunning!", he admitted, looking at me from head to toe.

"I don't know...", I commented, looking at my image in the mirror mirror again. "I don't look like it at all…"

"It is necessary.", Tim continued. "We cannot have the risk of you being recognized."

I nodded and took a deep breath. "I know that and it's fine. The lenses are a little annoying, and I'm seriously afraid of falling and breaking my legs with these things on my feet, but ... I'll survive."

“You were trained for this, never forget it. I taught you everything you need to know about this mission.", he reassured me, bringing his hand to my face.

“Yes, I'm ready..."

During the drive, I mentally reviewed what I had to do. My father, was looking for a new secretary. I had to show up at his house for a interview, and I would be a 100% hired, Tim assured me.

"Try to show yourself confident, reliable, ready for anything.", he advised me. "We will listen to everything, in some way it will be like being there with you."

“I have a bug in my bra, right?"

"Exactly.", he replied, smiling slyly. "I'm glad you noticed."

As soon as we arrived at our destination, before getting out of the car, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I can do it, I repeated to myself. I looked at Tim, for one last time, to feel more confident. He nodded briefly and, the moment I was about to open the door, he grabbed me by the arm, forcing me to turn in his direction.

“Hey, remember that after you clear this up, you have a promise to keep..."

"Yes, don't worry.", I assured him. "It is impossible for me to forget."

"Now go. And if anything happens, don't hesitate to call me. If things get out of hand, I'll get to you right away."

“Thanks, Tim..." 

I stayed for a few moments to look him in the eye. He was so considerate of me. He worried about me, and from his expression right now, he was clearly nervous as if something would definitely go wrong...


	27. Chapter 26

I got out of the car, arming myself with immense courage, towards the enormous building which, so it seemed, would be the residence of the man who is my father, from generation to generation. For a second I thought maybe it could have been my home too...

I arrived in front of the gate and, undecided about what to do, I raised my eyes to the sky to ask for divine help. Until a few minutes ago I felt ready for anything, and now, I would've liked to go back to being the woman I once was, happy and carefree. And, as I looked back, I realized that someone was watching me. I turned around just long enough to see a man, in his sixties, with very unkempt hair, a mustache, equally large sunglasses, and a cigarette in his mouth. He was with his arm leaning against a car, certainly owned by my father. It was probably the driver who still kept looking at me.

“Hey, sorry... I'm here for the interview, could you help me?"

He didn't open his mouth, but continued to keep his gaze fixed on me. He only brought out the smoke by pursing his lips, without deciding to answer my question.  
Suddenly he threw his cigarette to the ground and walked towards me at a slow pace. I backed away, frightened by the way he looked at me. The man, however, showed off an amused smile and, ignoring me completely and opened the gate of the residence. I saw him turn around and giving me a brief nod, as if to tell me to move on. Anayway, I took courage and went through the gate, continuing my way through the immense garden. And I was aware of the fact that I had that guy behind me. And with this outfit I was ready to bet he was already swooning... 

The guy lead me into the house. I was speechless in front of all that luxury, even if it was not the first time I have set foot in such a villa.  
The man stopped in front of a door and raised his hand, as if to tell me to wait. He entered the room, and I stood out there for a few minutes, waiting for my death warrant to be signed.  
No, I had to relax, damn it. I had to have faith in myself, otherwise I would've end up being discovered within seconds. I have been trained, I was ready for anything, I couldn't panic...

The door opened again, and the man from before beckoned me to enter.  
My legs moved on their own, crossing the threshold and entered the room.

And there was my father...

My eyes met the cold ones of a man sitting behind a desk. At that moment I had the impression that my heart has stopped beating. I couldn't believe it, the one in front of me was just ... well he was my father, the real one...

"Let the young lady sit down.", he he ordered his driver.

He had a warm and deep voice.

The driver meanwhile cleared his throat as he took a chair by pulling it forward. And I sat down to find myself face to face with my father.

"You are the only one who introduced herself, the only one who came.", he informed me. "Do you know why?"

I shook my head, still deeply troubled. "No, sir."

“Well, my secretaries are having a hard time. Are you sure you want to work for me? I warn you that it will not be easy at all."

“Don't worry. I'm ready.", I answered firmly.

“You are ready to be called in the middle of the night, and to get out of bed to run like a bolt of lightning to me, to obey any of my orders? Are you sure about that?"

"Yes, I just said, I'm ready. I am sure."

“You don't have much experience in the field, do you? How old are you?"

"Twenty-five.", I lied.

"I don't know... I need someone more qualified. But there doesn't seem to be much choice...", he mused to himself.

“Test me.”, I interrupted him. "At least for a week. And if I don't do my job well, then you can say I'm not qualified. But give me a chance."

He crossed his arms and started looking at me with an amused smile. "What's your name?"

“Jayne.”, I replied immediately. “Jayne Monroe."

“Jayne, I need a secretary who is always by my side, who is available both day and night. For this reason, I can't afford an assistant who lives too far away from me."

“I am aware of that."

He glanced at his driver, as if he wanted to consult him.

"Okay. You got the job, Miss.", he announced a few seconds later.

"Excellent.", I exclaimed satisfied. "And when do I start?"

“At this very moment."


	28. Chapter 27

The 'Family' of my father have always had cover, of course. He inherited an empire of restaurants from my grandfather, who died a few years ago from an incurable disease. According to Tim, his only evil was his wickedness.  
Of course, running an empire isn't easy at all, especially if it's just a cover job. I had the task of unmasking him and shedding light on my mother's murder. If it really was my father, he had to pay.

I got into the limo with both of them. And one thing I couldn't understand was why I found myself so comfortable. I should be scared, at least a little bit, however, none of this happened. Neither he nor that creepy man who was his driver could scare me. Yet, I wouldn't put my hand in the fire on the driver...

"Look.", my father suddenly said, handing me a book. "Those are all my commitments this week. The assistant I had before transcribed them. Learn them by heart."

"Oh, wow...", I exclaimed, opening the notebook. "But… This is a whole diary… For just one week?"

"Exactly.", he said. "Haven't you already thought about it?"

"No...", I replied, pretending to be positive. "But it is not a problem."

He made another amused look at his driver. And, from the rearview mirror, I could see a little smile on his mouth. 

During the journey I did not utter a half word, I rather took care of reading all of those commitments from the top to the bottom. And so far I haven't found anything compromising. Well, he's not stupid enough to give a complete stranger a diary with things written on it that could get him in trouble...

Suddenly, the driver stopped the car and, at that point, I thought we reached the destination. But no.

"I'll be right back. You two wait in the car.", he ordered, then opened the door and got out of the car.

I couldn't find out right away what business he was involved in, tho Tim explained to me that it can usually take months to figure out. I just hoped to succeed. It was my first mission after all and it concerned me personally. I just had to be patient and wait.

While I was absorbed in my thoughts, I did not notice that the driver was staring at me through the mirror.

“You don't talk much?", I finally asked him, in order to melt the ice a little.

But I didn't get any response from him.

"You really are not a talker, I understand...", I concluded and then started looking out the window.

At that point, however, the guy turned around to me. I looked at him suspiciously, while he had a strange smile on his lips, even if, under that mustache it was really difficult to find it. I realized that he was looking at me insistently. He's staring at one particular spot, but with those damn sunglasses I couldn't figure out what he's looking at precisely. A shiver was running down my spine, and I squeezed my legs, annoyed by his gaze. Realizing that he had made me feel uncomfortable, the guy smiled again and returned to the previous position with his eyes facing the road.

Maybe he figured something out?

The day passed more or less quietly, if it was not for the glances that the driver often threw at me. Quite the opposite of my father, however. Despite my outfit, he never dared to set eyes on me. And that made me feel a strange sensation in my heart.

Could I be sure this man was the big boss everyone's talking about? He didn't seem that bad to me. For the rest of the day he did nothing but gave me orders after orders, yes, he made me work like never before, but all in all he was good towards me.  
Tim sent all my things to the mansion. I had to say, so far, his plan was working out perfectly. The only thing he hadn't prepared me for at all was that creepy driver.   
After dinner, I locked myself in my room and, after making sure no one was around anymore I called Tim.

"Kate? Are you okay?", he asked immediately, apprehensive as usual.

“Yes, I'm fine."

"That's good to know. How do you like the job?"

"I think so, yes."

"And the boss? How does he look to you?", he continued, trying not to say anything compromising.

"I have to tell you the truth, he is not like I expected him."

"Honey, don't be enchanted by the appearance.", he told me immediately. "Trust only what I told you."

“ Okay...", I sighed. “But I can't wait for this to be over."

“ Me too, Kate. I can't wait for you to be my wife." 

And at those words I closed my eyes and sighed once more. What have I done? I had a man who loved me madly, who always managed to melt me with his sweet words, and I knew I didn't like him back...

“Tim, I wanted to ask you something… Why didn't you ever tell me about my father's driver? He's kind of a weird guy."

"What? The driver? I didn't think it was an important detail."

"I, on the other hand, think so."

“I'll try to find out more about this guy. Do you know his name?"

I was about to answer his question when, suddenly, a noise made me jump. I stopped the call and looked around, a little scared and decided to get up to take a look at the corridor. And, as I opened the door, I saw a figure walking away. Trying to figure out who it was, I saw the figure turn in my direction.

The driver.

Again I barricaded myself in my room, and locked the door. After doing this I remained for a few minutes with my back attached to the door, in an attempt to calm myself down. My blood went cold... Yeah, I should just go to sleep.

But before doing so I decided to text someone.

》 Where are you? I need you. Why did you leave without saying goodbye? 《

Unfortunately, I didn't get any response to that message. And even after a week, nothing. It was as if Tom had disappeared completely.

The next days were all full of commitments, and I went to bed exhausted. The thing that bothered me the most was that I haven't been able to find out anything about anyone yet. Tim told me to have patience, but I was not a person who had a lot of it, unfortunately. And with that driver after me scared me. While I followed the boss, my father, everywhere, I couldn't figure out what business he's involved in.

Until one evening, a 'close friend' of his came to have dinner at his house. And that friend immediately made me suspicious, from the first glance.  
The boss told the servants, including myself, that he will dine alone with him, which already made me think that the two will talk about something 'interesting'. And I absolutely had to listen to their conversation.  
I waited until the situation was calmer, and that no one was around, before I left my room. The only problem could be that creepy driver.  
I walked along the corridor paying close attention, and taking small steps. Any noise, even the barely audible ones, made me look around.  
I could hear those two talking, but from that distance I couldn't exactly hear what they were saying, so I had to try to get closer.  
My heart was pounding in my chest, and with every step I took I felt like I was losing strength. I shook my head and told myself to stay calm, so as not to panic, and that it was enough just to put the bug I got in a place where no one could see it and everything would be fine. So I took a deep breath and approached the entrance to the large living room of the his residence. 

Well, from there, their voices were heard perfectly. I leaned my back against the wall trying to regulate my breathing, looking around with the fear that someone might discover me. Fortunately, everything seemed to be quiet.  
I rook the bug and looked for a place to put it. My hands were shaking and, as clumsily as I am, dropped the bug to the ground. Yet I immediately bend down to take it, but I was anticipated by someone's foot.  
I widened my eyes as soon as that shoe suddenly destroyed the bug, raising my head, slowly and fearfully. And exactly what I feared appeared in front of me: The damn driver.

I immediately got back on my feet, and my legs seemed to move by themselves, running away terrified with the immense fear of him coming after me. I got to my room, but before I could close the door, someone managed to stop me. 

I tried to close the door with all my strength, yet that man was stronger than me. 

"What do you want from me? Get away!"  
  
I grabbed the first thing that came my way and prepared myself to hit him. The man did not seem frightened at all, he continued to approach confidently while I backed away to hide. My legs were shaking just at the thought of what he would like to do to me. As soon as he was at the right distance, I raised the object in the air with the clear intention of hitting him. But he promptly blocked my arm by squeezing it tightly, dropping the object to the ground but kicked him right where it would hurt the most. I tried to escape, but unfortunately he recovered immediately. He grabbed me, slamming my back against the wall and, while I tried to free myself, but again he stopped me and ripped my shirt off, throwing it away.

"Kate, stay quiet!", he whispered to me.

My eyes widened, unable to believe what I just heard.

He freed my mouth while I stood there like a fool, watching him.  
Unexpectedly, he ripped off that huge and hideous mustache, and later also his sunglasses and driver's hat.

"Darling...", he continued, smiling at me. "Did you really believe that I would leave you alone?"

Tom...

Without thinking twice, I slapped him straight across the face as hard as I could, making him turn away.

"You fucking asshole! You put me through a week of hell!", I shouted at him.

But I couldn't resist him any longer and jumped into his arms. He immediately brought his hands to me, so as to push me against him.

“You've driven me crazy these days...”, he admitted between the kisses. “With those damn short dresses. That was not fair at all."

"That's why ... you looked at me that way.", I reflect aloud.

“Yes, I undressed you with my eyes, I admit. I couldn't do without it. "

“Why did you tear off my shirt?", I wondered, somewhat confused.

"To get the bug away... Otherwise they would have found out about me.", he informed me.

"They don't know that you are here with me?"

He shook his head. "No, they wouldn't have let me.", he said, leaving a motionless hand on my cheek. "But I didn't want anything to happen to you."

"How did you manage to infiltrate this mansion and ... everything?", I asked him again. "My father seems to have known you for a lifetime."

“I managed to win his trust. It's been a while since I came up with this. About three months, more or less."

“Are you… Are you telling me the truth?"

“Of course Darling. Why should I lie to you?"

He brought his lips to mine once again and I just couldn't let go.

Was he telling me the truth? Who knows... I've never understood anything from the beginning and I didn't even pretend to understand it right now.

Yet at that precise moment, a noise interrupted our kissing exchange and, caught off guard, we parted, ready for anything.


	29. Chapter 28

Tom looked around while I clinged to his arm, breathing out a sigh of relief when it turned out to be false alarm. 

"It's all right, everything is fine.", he reassured me a moment before finally turning around to face me.

We were practically in 'my' room, the two of us alone, locked up... I think I've longed for this moment many times, but right now, except that I would've like to believe, with all my heart, that what Tom told me was the truth, but knowing him I strongly doubted it.

"You're trembling...", he realized, squeezing me tightly in his arms. "You don't have to be afraid, Darling. Do you remember? I told you I was going to be your shadow, and I kept my promise."

"Yes but… Why exactly?", I asked, loosening the embrace.

"What? Well, it's not what you think. I just stopped you from letting them find out, that's all."

"You're lying, I haven't taken any missteps since I've been here.", I countered, putting my hands on my hips.

"I observed you, you are still a beginner. What did you and your boyfriend do in those three months? Did you two only fuck around?"

I remained, once again, speechless. "Asshole!"

“Stop it, or do you want someone to hear us?"

"Get out of my room.", I ordered. 

"No."

"Get out!"

To prevent me from throwing around another scream, he decided to cover my mouth with a kiss. And inevitably I let myself be kissed, like the great idiot that I am. How can I resist him? I love his lips, his mouth, everything much. I would've liked to stop myself from wanting him, but I guess it's no use trying to repress your desires. I just love him...

"I don't trust you...", I whispered, as soon as I managed to tear myself away from his lips.

"Yet you're kissing me.", he informed me, with that unbearable smile on his face. "If you kiss me it means you trust me, you know..."

"I hate you...", I mumbled, still approaching once again and slowly touching his mouth with my lips.

"You're not good at lying..." he chuckled, finally responding to the kiss.

I felt his hands grabbing my hips hard and I gasped when he tried to bring our bodies closer, with the clear intention of making me understand how excited he was. With one hand, he went up along my body, up to the bra. I sighed on his lips, my heart beating as fast as it could.

"You're driving me crazy..."

Tom just smiled and, from the way he looked at me, it didn't take an expert to understand that he was dying to have me. And I was about to die too, to be honest... We only made love once, and it was amazing. I couldn't imagine what it would be like to do it again with him. Just at the thought I felt like I was going to explode.

The bra fell to the ground at my feet, and I reflexively brought my arms up to cover my bare chest. Tom shook his head, only a moment before being on my mouth again. He succeeded in making me lower my arms and, gently, touched them with his hands several times. In the meantime I put my hands on his shirt, but a sound, quite familiar, interrupted that long-awaited moment.

The damn phone!

“Don't answer...”, he begged. “Let it ring..."

“I can't, maybe it will be something important."

I freed myself from his grip and grabbed the phone. And, as I expected, my boyfriend was calling.

"Honey, are you okay?", he asked, clearly worried.

“Yes, Tim, I'm fine. Why?"

“We've lost all contact with you, something must have happened to the bug."

I immediately tried to come up with some excuses about what happened, but I stopped thinking as soon as Tom, behind me, wrapped his strong arms around my body with the clear intention of making me end the call. His hands went to look for my breasts and he began to caress them, while leaving a trail of hot kisses on my skin. Tim kept asking me questions, and I couldn't answer a single one. I was afraid that if I would've opened my mouth only a moan than a complete sentence might come out.

"Tim, sorry... Sorry, I'm an idiot, I maybe lost it...", I justified, trying to shake off Tom.

"It doesn't matter. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Sure! Of course I am!" I answered, perhaps too aggressive.

"Okay. So, good night. I love you sweetie."

“I love you too, Tim..."

As soon as I said those words Tom stopped caressing me. I ended the call when he sat down on the bed, just a few steps away from me.

"Don't you feel guilty?", he asked, starting to unbutton his shirt. "Since when did you become a liar when it's about love?"

I only gave him an annoyed look.

“There are lies and lies. I've never told anyone to have… feelings. You did it. Your lie far surpasses all mine."

"That I am in this mess, is your fault alone.", I accused him, placing myself in front of him with folded arms.

"Mine? And for what reason?"

"Because you were gone. You left me alone just when I absolutely needed to have you around. Then he was close to me, he helped me in practically everything, without him I don't know what I would have done."

“That's not how it works, Darling. I was gone, of course, but it was you who threw yourself into the arms of the first one who passed by. So don't blame me and take your responsibility."

“I just misunderstood the affection I felt for him, I thought it was love, but I was wrong. You don't know ... what I went through in those three months... I-..", I started but stopped in time, before the tears would've betrayed me.

Tom suddenly grabbed me with arrogance by the hips making me sit on his legs.

"I've been through that too.", he admitted.

"So with what reason do you come to teach me a lesson?"

“I didn't say to have feelings! I always had your face in front of my eyes."

"W-What?"

"Darling, I care about you, don't you understand?", he said, slowly leaning his forehead against mine.

"Me too...", I admitted, lowering my eyes.

"You too, what?", he asked, curious, bringing his fingers to my face.

"It only happened once, and it wasn't what I imagined with him... I couldn't get you out of my head..."

Tom took a deep breath as I closed my eyes feeling his breath on my mouth. “It still pisses me off that you and him... You know..."

"Oh now you care?"

"Maybe?", he replied carelessly. "Or maybe I just think that you are only and exclusively mine..."

"How stupid you are!", I laughed, pushing him onto the bed, with a smirk on his face.

I couldn't keep making fun of Tim's feelings, this story would have to end sooner or later. And I definitely couldn't marry him, simply because I don't love him.

"Tom, how did my father seem to you? He had a strange effect on me. Could he really be that bad boss everyone is talking about?"

"I don't know what to tell you..."

"How do you not know?", I asked perplexed. "Tom!"

“Maybe you should sleep, Darling."

"What game are you playing?"

He sighed holding me tightly in his arms. "Just remember that ... everything I do, I do it for you."

"And... What does that mean now?"

"Sleep now..."

"Tom!", I said again. "Stop with that bullshit!"

But no, he didn't respond anymore. In the end, all I could do was to try to fall asleep. However, I was finally in his arms and realized I missed him to death.


	30. Chapter 29

The next day, as expected, Tom was no longer next to me.

When I found myself in front of the 'driver' again, I had to stop myself from laughing. He really is an amazing actor, that's for sure. But I guess we already knew it because of the famous show 'Lucifer'.

"Oh, Jayne. Finally awake I see.", my real father greeted me. "It's a busy day today."

"I'm ready for anything.", I replied, letting out a yawn.

"I see."

I glanced at Tom, and he returned with one of his smiles which looked more than strange because of that mustache.   
We both followed the boss, while I was hoping with all my heart that I could take action without any problems. To finally try to understand something about this guy. Now that I know Tom was actually that creepy driver, I wasn't scared anymore, at least I hoped so. With Ellis you never know and, to be honest, I'm not sure if everything that he said to me was true. At least according to him, he was here to help me.

I should've asked him more questions instead of being so paralyzed by him. But can you blame me? 

And as my father entered the meeting room, I took the opportunity to act. I immediately went to his office to check all that paperwork to which, for some reason, I couldn't get access. My intuition told me that he definitely had something interesting there. I tried to be cautious, fast and professional. I checked all the documents, the folders, throwing a few glances every while at the door. After a moment that made me jump, the office phone started to ring Well, I had to answer, it was my 'job'...

"Yes? You're talking to the secretary. If it's important let me know and I'll put you through."

"Are you … the … girl?"

"Excuse me? Who am I talking to?"

And at that point the person, whoever it was, ended the call.  
Really weird... What did that person mean by that sentence? The girl?

I tried not to think about it and went back to the paperwork. There must be something to prove his 'business'. I did not understand how it was possible that this man managed not to miss anything. And, as I struggled to understand his moves, I was interrupted by the sudden entry of someone into the room, almost having a heart attack. 

"Kate, what are you doing?", Tom asked me. "You won't find anything there."

"And how do you know? Have you already checked everything here?", I asked, as soon as I recovered from the shock.

“Come on... Come on, go out."

"No. I want to know what you're hiding from me.", I countered, watching him distrustfully.

Talking to him, disguised as a driver, made this situation look ridiculous to the point of the unbelievable!

“Now get out of here, and do me the favor of staying quiet and not getting in any trouble, okay?"

“Forget it. And stay away from me! That mustache is hideous by the way."

But Tom grabbed me by the arm, dragging me out of the office. I was simply forced to get angry because of all the curious looks he had placed on me. And this was certainly not the best place to make a scene...  
We wait for my real father to come out of the meeting room, and the whole time Tom had been keeping me under close surveillance. I really didn't know what to think anymore. We two were supposed to be agents, right? And we had missions to accomplish, don't we? So why the hell was he getting in my way? 

When my father concluded his business, he began to list all the commitments for the afternoon, and tomorrow as well. He talked so fast I could hardly keep up with him. Maybe even on purpose? He knew it's humanly impossible to write at that speed, and he was testing my nerves. This situation was unbearable. And it was unbearable for a very specific reason: I was not understanding anything!

During the drive to the residence, I saw Tom more than once glancing at me through the mirror, only increasing my desire to kill him.  
Suddenly a deafening noise made its way to my left ear. The car swerved a little, but Tom managed, fortunately, to maintain control of the vehicle. All three of us realized, in the same instant, that the windshield has been punctured by exactly one bullet. I turned around, still completely confused, and I glimpsed to the back, just to see two guys on our heels, one busy driving, and the other with a rifle in his hands. Tom accelerated immediately, realizing the danger of the situation.

"Hold on tight!", he warned us.

The boss reached out with his mighty arm to wrap it around me, like some kind of shield in case they should fire again. I was immediately struck by this gesture of his, but my thoughts were abruptly interrupted by the maneuvers that Tom was doing with the car, in an attempt to get rid of the followers.

"It was a warning.", I heard Tom say.

"I know.", the boss muttered. "It was to be expected."

I decided not to say something myself, remaining silent until we arrived at our destination.  
However, the incident was not reported. And I preferred not to ask any questions for now.  
My real father went away to make a series of phone calls, while Tom disappeared for a couple of hours.  
I've thought several times if I should've called Tim and let him know what happened, but at some point, just as I was about to dial his number, the door to my room swung open.

"Kate, come on. We have to go somewhere.", Tom told me, entering the room, grabbing by the arm and dragging me out of the door, without my being able to say something. 

He made me get in the car, and only then I decided to ask him where he was taking me.

"Guess who called me... Your boyfriend's father.", he informed me.

"Tim's father?"

"Yes, but don't worry, your fiancé won't be there too. He wants to talk to the two of us alone."

“Did he know you were infiltrating this mission?"

"No. Nobody knew, I told you."

"Oh... And my father? As soon as he sees I'm not there anymore, he'll go crazy..."

“Don't worry, I asked him for a two-hour leave. For us both. I made up an excuse, like you had to do some shopping or whatever to forget about the trauma of the 'accident' as soon as possible."

"I'm not traumatized.", I corrected him.

"Oh really? You're still shaking, darling."

"Fuck it."

“Hey, I already told you you don't have permission to talk like this, okay?", he smiled.

And while he continued to make fun of me, he started to take off his mustache, glasses, and cap, to return to the Tom the world knew, or at least the one I knew.


	31. Chapter 30

Tim's father welcomed us with open arms, which was very unexpected.

“Tom, Kate. How are you?", he asked kindly.

"May I know why you called us?", Tom asked immediately. "I have no time to waste."

The man nodded, patting him on the shoulder. He made us both sit down and examined us carefully before starting to speak.

“Kate, I want to know if you have any problems with this first mission of yours. There's nothing wrong with admitting you're in trouble, you're a beginner after all."

“No.", I decided to lie. “Everything is going well, thank you."

"Are you sure? You met your biological father, it can't be easy at all."

“In fact it wasn't, but… Well, in this short time, I could only ascertain that he is a good man, he even is kind to me. And I've seen him behave this way with everyone. Do you believe me when I tell you that I understand less and less of this whole 'mission'?"

He burst into laughter. “Oh Kate, you remind me so much of your mother. She made the same speeches as you, unbelievable! Anyway, you have to understand that this world works like this. Nothing is as it seems. Absolutely nothing."

“ I don't know who I can trust, Sir. And the man who's sitting next to me just confuses me even more...", I said, glaring at Tom with a small smirk.

Needless to say, the former boss bursted into another laugh. "Kate, could you leave us alone for a moment? I need to discuss a private matter with ... this man."

I nodded and let them speak alone, as requested by him.

  
...{"You know that you are like a son to me, Tom. But I don't want my actual son to suffer. He is in love with that woman."

"Sir, it was your son who got in the way and you know it perfectly well.", Tom replied, quite nervous.

The man remained to observe him, and with that silence he recognized something.

"What are you doing, Ellis? I do not recognize you anymore. The mission was Miss Jackson's, you weren't involved."

“I don't take orders from anyone and you know that. Kate is still inexperienced, I would never, ever leave her side that she has to face everything alone."

"But which side do you belong to? THAT is what I want to know!", he answered, raising his tone a little.

"Me? On the side that can guarantee salvation."

“Well... I heard you had a little accident today..."

"That warning was not for her father.", Tom said, getting up and starting to walk up and down the room. “It was for Kate."

"Did you find out who the mole is?"

"No."

"What if it's you?"

“No. The mole wants to get rid of Kate and you know I that would never let that happen nor would I ever try to hurt her.", he informed him.

“Si it's not you, all right... Did you find out who the family's enemy is?"

"His enemy should be us.", Tom continued. "But ironically, we are not. There's something else underneath it. Something that has escaped us, that we have not seen. All these years. Something deep."

"Protect her.", the former boss ordered him.

“You don't need to tell me, I know I have to protect her. The problem is from whom? Who the hell do I have to protect her from?"

“You just have to find out."

Tom nodded, while the man couldn't hold back a little smile.  
"And so it happened to you too, in the end...", he then commented.

"What?"

"You fell in love."}...

When I returned to say goodbye to Tim's father, he whispered something in my ear, leaving me stunned.  
But I didn't have time to reply, when Ellis grabbed me by the arm to drag me into the car.  
And all the way back we didn't speak. I did nothing but think of the words of the old man, while Tom, well, who knows what the hell was on his mind...  
Upon our arrival at the residence, we noticed a car in front of the gate and saw my real father coming out the front door. In the meantime, Tom and I, transformed back into our roles, getting out of the car.  
And the scene I then witnessed left me speechless.  
A child passed us by running in the direction of my father and shouting a word that came very clear to my ears: Dad.

"Hey!", the man shouted, taking the small child into his arms, hugging him tightly.

I remained motionless, my heart beating wildly and my legs were about to give away.  
Then I turned to Tom as if for explanations.  
From the expression on my face, it was clear what question I would've asked. However, Tom understood immediately and limited himself to a brief nod which meant yes.

That child was my brother...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! But I would like to say something...
> 
> In the previous chapter I recieved a direct message as a review. I've received negative comments, and I've accepted it, that's not the problem. The problem is that this person, who called himself "anonymous", wrote a review using non-existent pretexts with the sole aim and intention of going against me, yet failing miserably. I don't understand why... What did I do wrong?


	32. Chapter 31

I put a hand over my heart as my eyes cannot help but rest on that child in the loving arms of his father. Of our father. Yes, because that little one, who suddenly appeared, was none other than my stepbrother. I didn't know anything about his existence, so as soon as I saw him running towards the man, screaming the word 'dad', I felt pain in my heart.  
I started to smile as I watched the scene of father and son embracing. However, that moment of apparent happiness got interrupted by someone else entering the scene. From the car a woman emerged: Tall, brunette, dressed indecently and with high heels. I immediately felt a strange sensation and, unlike before, this time it was not beautiful at all.

"Baby!", she called him, walking towards the two. "How much I missed you!"

Oh hell. Was that my father's partner?

I turned once again to Tom for other explanations. I swear, my boyfriend hadn't even told me about a child or the partner. He reiterated several times that I was now ready for the mission, and that he had explained everything to me and, instead, I found myself having to deal with a a driver who later turned out to be Tom, and now a child appeared with his mother, whose eyes you could see very well the wickedness they possessed.

"Who is she?", I asked, lowering my voice.

Tom hesitated to give me an answer. He's nervous, and I didn't understand why. Even with the dark glasses and the mustache I could feel his agitation. That woman managed to anger him, beyond belief.

"That's the worst woman to ever exist.", he replied, after a few seconds of hesitation.

I thought about his words for a moment. I vaguely remembered that both he and Shawn had told me about a certain "worst woman to ever exist" and I understood right away that it must be her.

He nodded again without adding anything else. But I still needed to know more.

“Is is the one that got you in trouble?"

Tom nodded again, and again he didn't open his mouth. For sure there was something else that he did not tell me. It was impossible to trust him...

I clenched my fists as I headed in the direction of my father, the child and that woman. The more I advanced, the more I felt like I was going to explode. 

"Juliet, this is Jayne, my new assistant.", my father informed her.

"Nice to meet you.", she greeted me, trying to be polite.

But my attention was completely captured by two blue eyes that scrutinized me with great curiosity. I smiled at the child and bend down to reach his height.

“Hello, little one. What's your name?"

"Johnny.", he replied with a smile.

"It's a really nice name. I am ... Jayne."

He looked down quite intimidated and, at that point, I reached out to be able to take his little hand into mine. However, his mother prevented me, grabbing the child by the arm to make him move away. Once I got back on my feet, I focused my eyes on Juliet's.

"Johnny, let's go unpack your stuff.", she said, turning to her son. "You know, dear, the journey has been really tiring.", she complained, speaking to her companion, as she took the child by the hand.

"Yes, mom, but don't squeeze my hand so tight, please. You hurt me!"

Johnny continued to complain about his mother's too strong grip, but the latter didn't seem to listen to him at all. I took a step towards them, as if to do something, but someone stopped me in time.

“Kate...”, he whispered in my ear, as he held my arm in his hand. “Don't fuck this up..."

“Leave me alone.", I ordered through gritted teeth. “Don't fucking touch me!"

“Calm down, darling."

Tom's voice alone, for some reason, managed to relax my senses. And I hate myself for that. Because he just had to snap with his fingers and there I was falling to his feet. The anger I had towards that woman has disappeared, leaving no trace behind. Only because he, with his closeness, with his warmth, with his warm and deep voice, has managed to make me forget it. And I would've liked like to slap myself for that.  
I freed myself from his grip and pushed him away from me.

During dinner, little Johnny managed to make me forget all the problems that afflicted me, only with his innocent smiles, with his speeches like an intelligent child, who already knows everything, and with those magnetic eyes.

"Dad, I made you a present.", he informed him. "We did it at school with the teachers."

"Oh, really? I can not wait to see it. Did you do it on your own?", he asked him with a smile, the same as that of Johnny.

"Yes, yes!", exclaimed the little one, raising his arms up. "I did it for you!"

And while father and son continued to talk about many things, I realized that something strange was happening around us. I saw Juliet throwing constant glances at someone in particular. And that someone was Tom.

Why did she look at him so insistently?  
He's just dressed a old driver, why was she so interested in him?  
Something told me that she knew something...

After dinner, I waited until nobody was around to go to Johnny's room. That child literally kidnapped me.  
I looked through the door of his room and, unexpectedly, his big eyes looked straight over to me. We both remained silent for a while, not knowing what to say.

"Can you read me a story from one of my books?", he then asked.

I nodded and entered the room, my hands shaking with emotion.

"Do you have any children?", he asked me, as soon as I sat down beside his bed.

"No, not yet. But I'd like to have some."

"My mom is bad...", he revealed to me a moment later. "Please promise me don't be bad with your children..."

"Why are you saying this?"

"Why? Mommy is bad. But dad is good. I would like to be with Dad, but Mom doesn't want that."

On impulse, I approached my hand to caress his forehead. "Now I'll tell you a story, okay? And you'll close your eyes."

"Thank you. Mom never tells me stories from my books...", he continued, and then did as I told him.

Something tightened my heart and I had to fight with all of myself against the tears due to the immense anger I felt at this very moment. I started telling him the story trying to keep my tone of voice calm. I said a few words with a slight tremble, but luckily I managed to complete the story. Johnny fell asleep holding a teddy bear-shaped toy to him, and at the sight of that scene I couldn't help but melt. However, I felt uncomfortable all of sudden and turned around. Slightly taken aback I catched a glimpse of Tom at the door watching me with folded arms. As soon as our eyes met, he turned around and went away. So I took one last look at Johnny before I left the room, and let out a smile to see that little guy sleeping with a puppy expression hugging his bear.

I was very careful not to be discovered by Tom while I continued to follow his steps, curious to know where he was going. At some point, however, I lost sight of him. I walked along the corridor, looking at myself in one of the mirrors with a suspicious face. Eventually I found myself in front of a door that marked the end of the corridor. Where the hell did he go?  
Suddenly I felt a hand resting on my mouth, while someone dragged me into one of the many rooms nearby.  
I tried to free myself from his steel grip, but in vain.

"Kate...", he whispered in my ear. "Calm down, it's me!"

Tom took his hand from my mouth making me turn towards him.

"Asshole!", I insulted him through gritted teeth.  
  
He took off his "mask" to return to being the Tom I knew.

“Darling, you're getting more and more aggressive. I don't like it."

He took me by the shoulders to join our lips in a passionate kiss and making me bang my back against the something. I was a wall full with books. And as Tom deepened the kiss, I reached out with the intention of grabbing a book to hit him right on the head. However, something unexpected happened. As soon as I grabbed one of the many books, a mechanism was activated that catapulted me and Tom into a completely different room. We both looked shocked and I don't think even he knew about this place.  
And in spite of everything, he approached to kiss my lips again.

"What the fuck happened?", I asked confused.

"Nothing special. Old tricks. You must have touched something you shouldn't have touched."

"Well, that was kinda cool to be honest.", I commented observing everything. 

Tom chuckled. "Cool? Do you want to take another round or what?"

I shook my head and, in that precise moment, my gaze was captured by an object inside the room. I was speechless and Tom soon realized that my expression has changed radically.

"Tom... You see it too, right?", I asked, with tears in my eyes.

He nodded, also clearly impressed by what we had in front of us. I approached the painting of a woman holding something in her arms. I raised my hand as if to touch those two very familiar figures. A tear escaped my eyes being out of control, but before it can slip off my face, Tom collected it.

The painting was my mother with her daughter in her arms. With me...


	33. Chapter 32

"Darling, don't cry..."

I brought my hands to his neck and hugged him tightly, leaning my face on his chest. Tom's hands did not take long to rest along my back to try to calm me down.

"He's really keeping the memories of my mother in this room...", I continued, without detaching myself. "Is it possible that he is really the killer? I can hardly believe it..."

"No, Kate...", he replied in a whisper and loosening the embrace. "He didn't kill her."

"You know something... Please tell me!", I begged him.

"Darling, why don't you go back to your old life? You were so … carefree. Your only problem was me..."

“Thanks for the advice, but no. This is my life now. And I don't even dream of going back."

Tom drew me to him while I immediately lowered my head to avoid looking him in the eye. He quickly brought his fingers under my chin to force me to look up. I didn't want to do it because I know what would happen once I lose myself in that special light that his eyes emanated. Yet I let him kiss me one more time. I clinged to him placing my hands on his chest as we deepened that kiss more and more full of passion and desire.

"You just want to distract me..."

“This is not a game."

"I just want you to tell me the truth, at least once."

Tom sighed running a hand through his hair. "What do you want to know?"

"Why didn't I know anything about Johnny's existence?", I asked point-blank.

“Because your father tried to hide him from the whole world, don't be surprised by that."

"And why should he hide him? Because of his business? Well, sure, that poor child has nothing to do with it, why should he pay for his father's mistakes? I fully agree with that choice to hide him."

"Johnny is sick."

And this latest revelation of his left me stunned. "Sick?"

“A heart disease. And the situation hasn't been improving lately."

"I don't believe you! That child is … smart, sweet, and healthy! This, for sure, is another lie of yours."

“Calm down, I could never lie to you about this. Believe me, I'm sorry too."

I put my hands to my head trying to hold back the tears. No, it can't be, I kept telling myself.  
Tom approached me again with the intent to calm me down, but I didn't want him to be near me and avoided him immediately while he didn't knew how to behave.

“Why did you say he wouldn't kill my mother?", I went on, trying to erase the last information I received from my memory.

“Kate, your father loved your mother more than his own life. And he loved you more than himself too. It wasn't him..."

"Then who did it? Can't you tell me?"

“If I knew we wouldn't be here, neither you nor me. I don't know who his enemy is. I have no idea. I just know ... I'd like to take you away from all this shit..."

"My place is here.", I reminded him.

"No! It is not! Your place is anywhere else in the world, away from here, and with me."

"Away from you, you mean.", I corrected him.

“No, darling, with me. Anywhere else in the world, with me, together."  
  
He forcefully grabbed my hips to bring our bodies together again, trying to kiss me, but this time I won't let him.

"Don't you believe me?"

"How could I?"

“Kate, in all this mess, believe me, I'm the only person who cares about you more than everyone else, you understand?"

“You don't really think so."

"I do. That's what I feel."

How could I trust him? I lost count of how many lies he told me already. He was a double agent after all... And I'd be a real idiot to rely on a double agent, right?

"How many times have you lied to me?", I asked through clenched teeth.

"Many."

"And this woman... That Juliet hasn't taken her eyes off you all evening. You are not telling me the truth about what's really going on here."

He shook his head several times. "What do you want me to do about her?"

I freed myself from his grip while continuing to stare suspiciously at him. "Why should I believe you? Give me a reason why I should do this!"

I saw him snort and rolling his eyes. "That's okay, darling. You don't want to run away with me, you want to stay here, but you have to help me: Stop investigating your father. He is not your enemy. Remember the mole? Remember I told you the mole is passing information to our number one enemy? Well, your number one enemy is not your father. So help me, ally with me, and we will find out the truth once and for all."

I pondered for a moment, and only one thing could make me believe his words: my real father's innocence. He probably really had nothing to do with my mother's murder.

“All right, Ellis. I'll help you.", I finally told him.

Tom relaxed and tried again to get closer. "Good."

He seemed to be really upset, and looked down to keep me from looking him in the eye. I took this opportunity to walk towards the exit so as to finally end our conversation.

“Before...”, I suddenly heard him say. “I heard you telling Johnny that you would like to have children one day."

He managed, as always, to leave me stunned.

“Yes. But first of all I would like to have a man by my side.", I answered, turning around so that our eyes met once again. "A real man."  


The next day I woke up with a terrible headache. Last night's conversation with Tom didn't let me sleep. All night I thought about his words, often dwelling on one of his statements, that of taking me away from here, and going to any other part of the world. Just the two of us.  
I won't deny that the idea wasn't tempting, but walking away with him was the stupidest thing I could've done back then. I couldn't trust Tom. Besides, I didn't want to go away, right now that I've found out that I had a brother.  
When I joined the others in the living room, I learned that there was no work for that day, because my father decided to take his son on a little trip. And as I watched Johnny preparing his backpack with a toothy smile, I didn't notice that my father has approached me with the intention of speaking to me.

"Jayne?", he started, clearing his throat.

"Oh, yes Sir?", I replied, turning around instantly.

"Since my wife Juliet doesn't want to join us, I was wondering if ... you would like to accompany me and my son..."

I was extremely struck by this sudden invitation. I looked at the child, who looked even happier than before. However, I didn't want to ruin their day. Who knew for how long these two have not spent a day together...

“Thank you, Sir, but I woke up with a bad headache. Maybe another time."

Both remained silent which just amazed me once again.

"I'm sorry, take care of yourself then.", he advised me. "Next time, however, you will come with us, okay?"

I nodded, without understanding. Why did he want me to go with him and his son?  
After they both left, I thought a little about what to do. The only solution I could find at the moment was to call Tim. Yes, the only one who could really help me was him.

"Honey, are you all right?"

“Oh, I'm so sorry, I've been pretty busy."

"I want to see you, Kate..."

I sighed and closed my eyes. "Same here..."

"Are you sure everything is okay?"

"Yes, although there are some things that confuse me... Maybe you will be able to dispel all my doubts. At least I hope so."

I kept talking to Tim as I walked through the house garden. I must admit that hearing his voice I was able to relax, at least a little. He managed to give me confidence, unlike someone else. And, the moment I smiled at a sweet word whispered by my boyfriend, I freezed at the sight of something truly uncomfortable. Tom and Juliet. Together...

I hid instantly to avoid being seen by them, but I still watched the scene, with rage building up inside of me.  
They were kissing. They were doing it in front of my eyes. And Tom was not in the role of the driver. Oh, no, he's just in the clothes he wore every day.

"How I missed you!", the woman gasped. "Why didn't you come to my room last night?"

Tom did not answer her, kissing her again.  
I felt the blood boil in my veins, clenching my fists so hard it hurt.

"That fool of a husband!", the woman exclaimed, detaching herself for a moment from the lips of him. "We are setting him up without him noticing anything. And it's all because of you!" 

And once again Tom did not open his mouth. They inverted the position, obviously returning to make out without any restraint.

At that precise moment, however, while I was still hiding observing them, Tom opened his eyes again, which inevitably went to meet mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do you think Tom told the truth?
> 
> Was Kate right not to trust him?
> 
> And what about Tim?
> 
> Do you think Kate's father is really the killer or not?
> 
> And Juliet? Why were she and Tom kissing?
> 
> Could it be another one of his lies?


	34. Chapter 33

I remained for a few moments with my eyes immersed in those of Tom. I wanted him to read in my eyes how disappointed I was, hurt, for the umpteenth time. As if he hadn't hurt me enough, with all his lies, with his false promises, with the "I love you" he never wanted to say. As if it wasn't already hell kissing him, holding me in his embrace, without being told, at least once: "I'm in love with you". And now I had to witness the scene of him kissing this Juliet. How could he do this to me? He knew how much I love him, even if I haven't told him, he knew it perfectly well, there was no need for me to say it out loud, it could be read in my eyes. I couldn't keep loving a man like him, a man who didn't care if he hurt me or not. This situation had to stop...

I was a agent, I had been given a mission, I couldn't screw it up because of my stupid feelings towards him.  
  
"Kate, are you still there?"

I remembered still being on the phone with Tim.

“Tim, I need to see you. Please."

"What's the matter with you? A moment ago you were so serene..."

“Nothing, really. I just really want to see you. I need you. You'll always be there for me, won't you? I can count on you, right?"

“Sure, sweetie. I will never leave you."

After agreeing with Tim about the place of our meeting, I ended the call and remained for a moment with the phone in my hands. I didn't realize what I was doinf and I would probably regret it, but right now I didn't give a damn.   
I wiped my eyes several times, to prevent my feelings from getting the better of me. I could not cry, otherwise it would be like giving him the victory for free. I had to be strong.

"You love Tim, Kate... You don't love that asshole... You love Tim..."  
Maybe if I kept telling myself that it could become true? No, I guess not.

Later I arrived in front of the park, not far away from the residence of my father, and sat on one of the many free benches waiting for Tim to finally arrive. I didn't know how to behave, there were so many things I should tell him. I closed my eyes and tried to relax, in an attempt to find inner peace, that peace that I had lost since a certain man reappeared in my life. And there I went back to thinking about that asshole...

"Honey...", I heard suddenly, wincing in fear.

"T-Tim!", I exclaimed, and then threw my arms around his neck.

I kissed him before he did. And I realized I'm stupid... I kissed him like I was kissing Tom. And he's not even there, so my behavior was probably even more idiotic. And while I thought about all this nonsense, Tim deepened the kiss by putting his tongue against my lips to part them. Infortunately I didn't feel a damn thing when he kissed me...

"Now, tell me what's wrong...", he said with a sweet smile, taking my hands in his. "I missed you so much, sweetheart."

I melted in front of that smile as beautiful as it was. "I missed you too."

We both sat down and, a little nervous, I started talking about almost everything that has happened in the last few weeks. I already knew that Tim was going to be mad to death so I took a deep breath before revealing to him that the driver I had told him about was none other than Tom Ellis himself. I closed my eyes a moment after throwing it out, not daring to imagine what his reaction would be.

"Why didn't you tell me right away?", he asked, apparently calm.

"I… I didn't know what to do, he didn't want to leave me alone, and I didn't mind at all having another agent … to help me."

"What have you done?"

"In ... what sense?", I asked, my heart tightening in my chest.

“You've been alone, I suppose. For all this time. What did you do?"

"Tim, I'm with you.", I reminded him.

"I know!", he exclaimed getting up and making me wince. "But that asshole wants you back! That's why he's doing all of this. Because he understood that he lost you and now he wants to get between you and me!"

“Calm down Tim, I don't think he has … that in mind..."

“I won't let him...”, he muttered. “I won't let him do what he wants."

I got up and approached him with the intent to make him think. "He's not a problem, I'll be able to get by. We can't screw everything up because of him. I assure you that everything is going perfectly well."

“Do you swear nothing happened between you? No kiss? Nothing? I remind you that you promised, in front of everyone, that you would become my wife!"

His gaze almost scared me. He had never looked at me that way.

“And I'll keep my promise. But let me finish my mission."

I still had so many things to find out. For example if my father was truly innocent. And I also had no intention of leaving that child in the hands of his mother. No, I couldn't just let it all go. If I had the chance to do something for my family, then, I would do it.

“Okay..." he finally conceded. “But don't hesitate to call me."

I took his face in my hands and kissed him once again on the lips. Within I breathed a sigh of relief, luckily he came back to himself.  
After saying goodbye, I headed back although I would have preferred to be with Tim than to find myself face to face Tom with that woman again. Unfortunately, I had to bear to see them all day until my father and my brother returned. And now that I thought about it, I should've went with them.

Before I even got a few meters to the gate of the villa, I felt myself being grabbed by the hips and, in the space of a few seconds, I found myself with my back against the wall crushed by someone's body. I opened my eyes, insulting myself for being a such a bad agent, but as soon as I realized who I was in front of I understood why I haven't heard anything.

“Darling, why the hell did you call that troublemaker?"

"Leave me alone! I don't have to give any explanation to you!", I shouted as I tried to free myself.

“You kissed him too, surely to get revenge on me. And you know what? It pissed me off."

"Did you follow me?"

"You are so stupid! That's what you are. You just don't understand that I only kissed her for information? I need to find out who your father's enemy is!"

"I don't care, you can kiss anyone you want, it's none of my business."

And then that inevitable smile reappeared on his lips. "You're jealous, darling."

"No!"

"Well...", he continued, approaching my face slowly. "You know... I wanted to take out the gun and pull the trigger as soon as I saw you were kissing your fake boyfriend..."

"It's not fake.", I corrected him.

"Yes, it is.", he insisted, touching my lips.

"And anyway, he kisses way better than you.", I said, clearly lying to myself and taking advantage of his little moment of distraction to free me from his grasp.

Unfortunately he recovered immediately, and started running after me. "No, wait. You don't really think so..."

“Oh yes. Get over it, my dear."

"Oh yeah? Well! You don't know how good her hands feel."

I stopped, as if to understand. "What do you mean?"

He looked at me with a smile that was not at all reassuring. "She knows very well how to treat a man, darling..."

I looked at him somewhat disgusted.

"Oh, I'm sorry. You don't know how to do any of this, I forgot.", he went on teasing me. "I guess it is logical that I prefer a woman like her, rather than someone like … you."

"Maybe I already did!", I exclaimed, as if completely mad.

"How? Maybe, did you do it to someone else?", he asked, raising an eyebrow, somewhat annoyed.

"Maybe."

"What? No, now you tell me who the fuck you did it to!"

"Could you calm down? I was joking.", I admitted immediately, a little frightened by his reaction.

He sighed, glaring at me. "So you can't do it, see?"

"I can."

"Oh...", he said, changing the way he looked at me. Too bad that look of his made me shiver.

“But to only to my boyfriend." 

And, at that point, I decided to go away. I started running to get to the gate, when I saw Tom Tom literally chasing me shouting a series of absurd words, all intended towards Tim of course. 

I managed to cross the gate, and there, I bumped into Juliet.

"Watch where you're going!"

Then she turned around to go her way. I was starting to think that Tom's instincts had infected me. Luckily, he took care of preventing me from committing any kind of nonsense, coming up behind me and pulling me away.

"We have to talk.", he informed me, out of breath. “You're really driving me crazy."

"No, I won't talk to you anymore! You didn't understand a damn thing."

"But why? I explained to you the reason for my behavior."

"Yes, but … you are a liar! Which side are you on? You're be playing double games with who knows how many other people!"

“I'm on our side, baby."

"Our side? There is no us, Tom."

"Yes, it is. I never wanted to see it, but it exists. And you understood it before me."

"Me? I am just a fool. I thought you were my prince charming. But you and prince charming are like day and night! I have been waiting for years for a miracle to happen, for you to notice me. And how to blame you? I was just an average woman and you an actor. But, fuck it! I thought you were a good guy, sweet, kind, romantic! What a fool I was..."

“No, you are not stupid. You were in love with only one thought, darling But now ... that we kissed, that we made love ... everything is different."

“Tim is everything I've ever wanted."

"Before, not now. Not anymore.", he corrected me.

"I cannot love a man like you! A man who takes care only and exclusively to satisfy his needs, who doesn't care about others, an egoist. A heartless man, without a shred of feelings. You can never give me what I'm looking for, but Tim can. Do you even know what I really want? "

Tom shook his head looking down. I was hurting him with my words a lot. But I couldn't just stop.

"I wanted to become a police detective, getting married to the man of my dreams, buying a house, maybe having children... Could you give that to me? Could you give me a normal life like that?"

"I suppose not."

"Exactly.", I concluded.

Tom didn't dare look up at me, and I thought it's better to go away. I couldn't see him like that. Have you ever seen a man with a broken hearted expression painted on his face? That's what I was seeing right now. So I took a few steps to get away from him, but suddenly he decided to say something.

"I thought that… I thought that you just needed a man who made you feel like a woman, every day of your life. Someone who will say those three damn words to you... But you want the castle, the prince, and I can't give you what you're looking for. You're right..."

With those words he left.

Okay, maybe I was a little too mean, I hurt him and I was sorry. However, he deserves it, right? After everything I've been through because of him, he deserves to suffer at least a little for me. Among other things, we should've think about the mission, not about things of this kind. Except… I just couldn't help being so damn jealous!

Now, the problem was that I wanted to help my father. Tom asked me to join him, but now I didn't knew what to do anymore. On one side was Tim, on the other my father and my brother, and in the middle Tom. Damn it, how did I get into this mess?

I knew my time had come where I should finally decide to which side I belonged to...


	35. Chapter 34

My father and brother returned from their trip around seven in the evening. I stood there staring at them, my eyes shining, and they inevitably noticed my presence.

“Jayne, are you all right?"

"Yes.", I replied, quickly wiping my eyes. "Did you have a nice day?"

"It was fantastic.", he commented enthusiastically. "And next week we will all go to the mountains!"

"Oh, beautiful! Johnny will have a great time."

"You and James will come too.", he continued with a wink.

"What? Who is James?" I asked, not understanding.

"My driver! I guess he didn't talk to you yet. Don't take it too serious. He just is like that."

"Excuse me Sir, but no... Your son should go with his family and I have absolutely nothing to do with it."

"You and James will come with us, end of discussion."

"But..."

And with that he went away...

Needless to say, there was no way to avoid going on vacation with the whole "family". During the week Tom and I still didn't talk to each other, but I preferred things to be like this since I had other stuff to think about. On the other hand, I spent a lot more time with Johnny. I loved that child more and more every day, and knowing that he is my brother too filled my heart with sadness.

On the plane I found myself sitting next to Tom, obviously in the role of James. Though, I wondered, who the hell he was being like that for, as I understood by now that both Juliet and my father were aware that he was not really a "driver" at all. Yes, at least I thought that. And I've come to the conclusion that the gentleman here was playing a double game with both the woman and my father. But for what purpose? He said he wanted to help my dad, and he's trying to extract information from Juliet. Is it possible that she knew something about my mother's murder? Yet I didn't think she had anything to do with what happened so many years ago. I could've asked Tom directly and remove the doubt, but unfortunately, it had been about a week since I decided not to speak to him.

"I know this situation bothers you, but I haven't decided which part to take.", I suddenly heard him say.

"Oh, don't worry, I'll survive it.", I replied. "Anyway, can you tell me why you continue this farce? We all know your true identity, you don't need to wear the mask."

"Darling, you know who I am, Juliet knows who I am-..."

“And my father knows it too."

"And how do you know?", he asked bewildered.

"I just know it. I'm not stupid, thank you."

He sighed. "Anyway… The thing is that Juliet doesn't know that you know."

“Neither does my father. So we all know, but we don't know we all know, do we?"

"Why don't you get a some sleep?"

“Because I have a great desire to make you feel uncomfortable."

"You mean you have a great desire to kiss me..."

I let it go and only made little noises as if to make him understand how tired I was of him, and how much he annoyed me.

Once we arrived at our destination, we were each accompanied to our rooms. Nothing short of fantastic. Little Johnny couldn't wait to go outside to play and seeing him so happy filled me with joy. Too bad that his mother didn't stop complaining about every single thing.

And, as we all headed towards the tool shed, my father came by with another surprise of his.

"Jayne, I know you can't wait to get to the cable car. Why don't you go with her, James? You don't need to come with us."

THIS WAS OFFICIALLY SOME KIND OF PLOT AGAINST ME.

"But I want to go to the cable car too!", Juliet interjected.

“Honey, let them go. Let's make Johnny happy and take him skiing.", her companion tried to convince her.

She only snorted. "Fine."

Basically my father had decided that me and Tom who was with me had to go for a ride on the cable car. And to be honest I didn't even remember ever telling him I wanted to go. Along the way Tom got rid of his mustache and glasses.

"I warn you, Ellis... If my father knows about us too, I won't let you get away with it this time."

"Kate, relax. Let's enjoy this vacation. Would you like not to think about anything for just some days?"

"What? I would like to remind you that we are in the middle of a mission!"

"Forget about this damn mission for now."

"How can you ask me such a thing?"

At that moment Tom unexpectedly grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly into his.

"I would like to spend some time with you.", he whispered a moment later. "Or is that too much to ask for?"

"And what the hell is the point of all this?"

He shrugged. "I don't know."

We made ourselves comfortable in the cabin and, without untying our intertwined hands, we enjoyed the magnificent landscape of the place. However, I was totally captured by another type of panorama: The man who was sitting next to me, and who right now, was also smiling at me, knowing I was secretly watching him.

"You have red cheeks.", he commented, still observing me. "You are so ... beautiful. And sweet."

"Come on, stop it."

He then leaned over to give me a tender kiss on the lips. And only that gesture could easily sent me into some sort of turmoil.

"It's not true that... It's not true that my boyfriend kisses better than you...", I admitted. 

“I know.”, he said confidently, showing me a smirk.

"Fuck you..."

He seemed to have a lot of fun, all he did was smile while he teased me. "Oh come on, don't be angry!"

"I said fuck you."

"I like you. A lot. I like you a lot. There, I told you."

I watched him as he refocused on the view. He's gone all red, which made me smile a little bit. 

“I already knew that. It's not that... But it's only some kind of declaration of love, you know... I don't know how to explain it..."

"Be satisfied with that statement."

I clinged toe him holding onto his body. "I like you too, but only a little..."

"And I know when you're lying.", he informed me.

We had a wonderful afternoon together, almost completely forgotten the mess we're in. For a moment, I closed my eyes, and imagined the two of us: in love and engaged, on vacation in the mountains. Unfortunately it was only a dream.

When we met the others later again, Johnny was practically exhausted. He could barely stand up, and his father took him to his room, telling the hotel owners that they would have dinner there. As the man began to climb the stairs, holding his son, Juliet took Orlando aside, who was again wearing his mask, to talk to him about something.

"Tonight. In my room. I'll wait for you."

I could understand what she was saying, but at the same time I wish I hadn't heard anything. This afternoon's dream has been destroyed in just some seconds.  
So I decided to take refuge in my room with a sudden tremendous desire to cry. However, I didn't, I couldn't cry, I needed to reflect, to figure out what the hell I wanted.

That I loved him was obvious. So, what to do? How to behave? Should I do something to get him back? No, he was never mine, so "getting him back" weren't the right words. But I had to do something, damn it! I couldn't just let him go! For the last time, I wanted to show him how much I actually cared about him...

Later I arrived at the door of his room. I knocked, and after a few minutes I found him in front of me all wet and with only a towel around his waist.

"Kate, I was taking a shower, what ... are you doing here?"

I gave him a push making him back away, so I could enter the room and lock the door.

"Hey, what are you doing?"

“Guess you're not going anywhere tonight."

"Kate. Don't be like that..."

Then I took off my coat, staying only in my underwear in front of him.

"Oh, okay... Maybe it's not that important..."

Tom was staring at me from head to toe, approaching and undecided about what to do. When he was only an inch away from me, what did he do? He hugged me...

"Darling don't be jealous."

I didn't give up. On tiptoe I reached his face to make our lips come together. I started to move them slowly against his, savoring all the sweetness of that moment. With my tongue I went in search of his and, together, they began to dance from one mouth to another. After a few minutes of intense passion, I went down to kiss his collarbone, his neck, and I smiled as I heard him sigh. I brought my hands to caress his shoulders, and with my mouth I deposited kisses on his muscular chest. And, in the meantime, I brought my hands to the towel that he kept tied to his waist. It took him by surprise when the towel was dropping to his feet. And there he was, all naked, in front of me.  
I watched him carefully, before bending over to kiss him again, slowly going down to tease him.  
He moaned and I could very well notice his trembling legs.  
I licked the tip of his cock several times, and with my hands I took care of massaging him. My tongue was running over his cock along its entire length, and this a couple of times, before taking it in my mouth. I felt him trembling more and more, moaning loudly as I tried everything to drive him crazy. He was not making any movement so I continued to suck slowly until he was close. And he removed his cock just in time to prevent himself from coming.

Tom immediately took me in his arms with the clear intention of taking me to the bed. He put me down under him and stood still for a few moments looking at me.

"Kate... I..."

"What is it?", I asked, still with a smile on my face.

“I have to … tell you something."

"Is it important?"

"I think so."

"Shall you tell me later?"

I didn't have to ask twice when he was already spreading my legs and brought a hand to take off my underwear. I sighed as soon as I felt him covering my body. After a moment he lowered his head, just like our first night together. As soon as I melted from the look he gave me he got up to enter me, driving me crazy. After a while, I got used to it and moved my hips to accommodate his movements. When we both reached our climax we dropped exhausted on the bed, but at that point, he still had something to say and finally forced me to look him in the eye.

"Kate..."

"Yes?"

"I really am in love with you."

I only stared at him while he looked at me seriously.

"Won't you saying anything?", he asked with a knot in his throat.

But when I was about to answer to that precise moment his damn phone started ringing. He sighed, clearly sad and annoyed and got up reluctantly, to go and get it.

"Hello, who's talking?"

"Mister Ellis?"

“Yes, it's me. Who's talking?"

“I'm calling you on behalf of your former boss..."

"What's going on?"

"He asked me to inform you that ... he wants to see you, Sir. Both you and a certain Miss Jackson... As soon as you can."


	36. Chapter 35

After ending the call, Tom remained silent, staring at the phone he still had in his hand. Something serious must have happened, otherwise I couldn't explain his reaction. I kept observing him, not knowing how to act. But he's the one who dissolved that tension, turning to me and aiming his gaze straight into mine.

"Get dressed...", he ordered. "We have to go."

A shiver ran down my spine as I heard those words spoken coldly. What the hell happened?

I did as he told me, starting to get dressed while he made a series of phone calls, of which I understood little to nothing. Then he left the room without adding anything else.

I sighed and let myself sit on the bed bringing my hands to my head in desperation. Everything was going so well, Tom had managed to admit he was in love with me, and we didn't even have time to go any further. I closed my eyes as if to relive that moment in my mind. His loving, fearful eyes literally melted me. He seemed so lost, so helpless, so anxious for my answer. What an idiot, as if he didn't already know I loved him to death. And after what I've done, I thought he no longer had any doubts about how I felt about him. I still didn't believe it, in the end it happened without me noticing... Only then did I realize that I did not have my clothes with me, since I came to his room only in underwear. And just as I realized this, Tom reentered the room. It took me by surprise, me with only panties and bra on, intented on thinking about what I could wear. I tried to cover myself with my arms, looking like an idiot. Unexpectedly I managed to get a smile from him.

"Do you … cover yourself?", he asked amused.

“Yes, it is a somewhat embarrassing situation. I mean, I know that before ... I undressed in front of you, so it doesn't make any damn sense what I'm doing. But you see, I think the situation is very different right now."

“Yes, that's true... The whole mood is definitely ruined.'

I nodded looking down. "Can you tell me what happened?"

“Just find yourself a shirt and a pair of pants, you can search through my clothes."

"Yes, but... You didn't answer my question.", I pointed out, raising my eyes to rest on him.

“Don't make me nervous and do as I tell you, please..."

“You've already forgotten everything, haven't you?", I asked disappointed.

"Kate!", he exclaimed, slowly losing his temper and approached me at a fast pace. "I told you to put on some damn clothes! Just do it! Please!"

I backed away, a little frightened by the way he yelled those words at me.

"Good! What can I say? Yes, it was a fabulous! Are you happy now?"

And my disappointment increased dramatically upon hearing his latest statement. I raised my arm on impulse to hit him, but he managed, as always, to stop me. With a slight push he made me fall back on the bed, and that's where he reached me by grabbing me by the hair so as to raise my head a little.

"You have to be good, do you understand?"

Our mouths were so close that the desire to kiss him completely numbed me, and I instantly stopped wiggling in an attempt to free myself from his grip. I closed my eyes as he seemed to calm down, in fact I felt him bow his head on my chest.

"Darling… You drive me crazy..."

I held my breath as soon as I felt the warmth of his lips on my skin. Aware of driving me crazy, as only he could do, he continued depositing hot kisses on my naked body. I bit my lip as he, clearly satisfied, grabbed me forcefully making me get out of the bed.

“And now do as I tell you, don't make me angry."

I nodded, still completely stunned by him, and I remained as if enchanted to watch him move around the room. He went straight to his clothes and, in the time of just a few seconds, pulled out some clothes for me, which made me wake up from that kind of trance I had ended up in. Tom went out the door again as I sat on the bed as if to regain consciousness.

I hated the effect he had on me. And most of all, I hated that he was aware of the effect he can have on me. He knew that whatever happened I would always fall to his feet with just a snap of his fingers and I turned into a fool ready to do anything for him. All that made me angry. Plus, earlier, when he yelled at me, and threw me on the bed, I was kinda scared to be honest, and a little bit turned on. And that only got added to my confusion.   
Every day I founmnd myself dealing with more and more shades of the devil himself. And I found myself, every time, unprepared of how to deal with each of them.  
The surprises with Tom, never ended...

A couple of hours after that phone call a helicopter arrived, which landed exactly in front of the hotel where we were now staying. Needless to say, the man did not allow me to ask any questions, he grabbed me and and dragged me towards it, to go who knew where. I also wondered if my father was aware of our "escape", but I realized that everyone in this story was probably aware of almost everything, except myself...

"Excuse me... I lost control, and I shouldn't have.”, I suddenly heard him say, and I could hardly believe my ears.

“Could you please just tell me what's going on?"

Tom sighed and locked his eyes with mine. "Look Kate. Your boyfriends father is sick, and he asked for us."

"Oh!", I exclaimed, putting my hands in front of my mouth. "And is it serious?"

“I don't know yet. I don't know anything, but I hope not."

Now I perfectly understood his state of mind. That man was like a father to him. And Tom didn't need to say it openly, I knew what he was feeling right now. I wish I could've done something for him, to make him smile again, but I never knew what to do. So I decided not to open my mouth, and to act: I leaned my head on his shoulder and clinged tightly to his body, as if to make him understand that I was there, and that he can always count on me. I would always be there for him.

"It's nice to know that you have feelings too...", I told him in an attempt to make him smile.

"Oh, for a long time I managed not to show any, luckily.", he replied with a hint of a smile. "Then you came..."

"Is it true then? Are you in love with me?", I asked, my heart pounding in my chest.

Tom seemed to have no intention of answering my question, when, unexpectedly, he brought a hand to my face, precisely under my chin, to make me raise it so that he could look me in the eye.

"I'm not afraid to tell you again.", he admitted, leaning down to make our lips touch.

"I was afraid it was all lost...", I revealed, sighing over his mouth.

"I could never hurt you, darling.", he continued, stroking my lips with his. "It wasn't my intention. Sorry if I scared you."

"With you I never know how to behave. There are so many things about you that I don't know, so many aspects of your being, Tom. Sometimes I wonder who you really are."

“It's just… I'm afraid, Kate. I'm afraid that, however it goes, you will always go to take refuge in the arms of ... you know who. And I can't stand it."

"I like him...", I admitted, lowering my head, “But I love you..."

"Look, I know that I am the opposite of what you are looking for in a man, and that I will not be able to give you anything that you deserve... You understand that… I don't like what I feel, I would like not to feel it, I would like not to feel those shivers running down my spine every time you look at me. I wish I could be what I used to be, but I can't. Now… There you are, and I can't understand anything anymore. Since that damn day when I saw you while you were reading a magazine, I can't understand shit anymore! You bewitched me... My body and soul. And then I found out it was you, and ... you already know the rest of the story. I didn't want to go this far, to tell you that I'm in love with you... I didn't think I could ever say that, actually. It's so strange. I feel something really strong for you, I don't want anything bad to happen to you, I want to protect you from anyone trying to get too close to you, I wish I could tell you those damn words all the time, I wish I was different, just for you... But you always talk about HIM, you say you like him, you kiss him, you agreed to marry him, and ... you confuse me. I don't want to suffer for love. I do not feel like it. I can not stand it. So that's why, sometimes, I change my ways of acting... I'm not sure what to do. I feel like an idiot. And now even more. I'm telling you all these things, and I don't even have the courage to look you in the eye. You make me doubt everything, even myself. You disarmed me completely. I am not afraid of anything or anyone, you know, but when you look at me that way, as only you know how to do... Yes, I admit it. And such a thing had never happened to me. Maybe yes, once. But the thing is that: Yes I am in love with you, I cannot pretend that I am not, I would be even more cowardly than I already was. And this situation is becoming too embarrassing for my taste..."

I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt after listening to his interminable speech. Needless to say, I literally melted, like snow in the sun. Now I understood so many things.

"Kate, please say something...", he insisted, looking up, clearly nervous.

I was enchanted to look at his eyes, without really knowing what to answer.

“I'm just afraid that something might happen to you because of me. I am trying to protect you in all possible ways, I have done nothing but try to keep you safe, always. I know you would like me to tell you how important you are to me, but I think in the end, it is better to act than ... to say so many meaningful words at random."

I put a finger to his mouth, as if to let him know that I understood and that he can stop talking. Tom looked at me questioningly, anxiously awaiting my next step. I approached to kiss his lips, in a sweet and delicate way, so as to continue living through that magic that was created in this starry night.

"You're right...", I whispered against his lips. "A gesture is worth a thousand words."

We spent a lot of time talking, using big words to better express what we feel, and what we would be willing to do for the people we love. But the best thing to do was to keep quiet, and let our actions speak for themselves. I have told Tim many times that I loved him, but words remain just words, what we say is not always put into practice. I was a living proof of that...

In a couple of hours we managed to get to our destination and, for the duration of the trip, I was hugged by Tom, without saying anything else. He seemed thoughtful, he was always looking out the window and I, on the other hand, was intented on looking at him. I couldn't take my eyes off his face, and I realized I knew him by heart now. Every corner of his face was imprinted on my mind. And the more I looked at him the more I was amazed.  
And while he was completely lost in the stars, I was lost in him, who, in his own way, is my star.


	37. Chapter 36

We got off the helicopter once we arrived in front of the residence. I grabbed Tom's hand, holding it tightly in mine, as if wanting to give him strength and courage. Together we headed for the door and the butler arrived to welcome us.

"Oh, Mr. Ellis! Long time no see!", he exclaimed, letting us into the house. "Come in please. He does nothing but ask about you."

The man lead us along the endless stairs leading to the upper floor, and precisely to the private rooms. When we got to the top, however, the last person in the world that I wanted to meet right now, came up.

"Kate...", said Tim in amazement. "What ... are you doing here?"

"Tim... How is your father?"

But he did not seem willing to answer my question, his eyes went to rest on the man next to me, and to whom I was firmly holding his hand.

"And why is he here? I don't want him in my house!"

"It's not your house, it's your father's.", Tom replied, looking at him defiantly. "And I'm here because he asked for me, and also for Kate.:

"That's true.", I added. 

"My father is resting right now.", he continued, clearly unnerved. "So do me the favor and leave, now!"

“I won't leave until I see him."

Tim, at that point, approached with a threatening pace. Tom loosened our hands and appeared in front of me, with the clear intention of keeping my current boyfriend away from me. I was seriously afraid that the situation could degenerate at any moment, given the dislike that both have for each other.

"Stay away from her.", he told him.

"She'll be my wife soon, have you forgotten that?"

"She is mine!"

I flinched as Tom's words reached my ears.

"Yours? She loves me!:

"Kate is not her mother, stop confusing the two! The feelings you had for her have nothing to do with her daughter!"

"Enough!", he then shouted pushing Tom away from me. "I don't care about your bullshit!"

“It's the truth, and you know it better than I do. Leave Kate alone, she can't give you what her mother denied you those years ago."

“Honey, tell this damn bastard that you love me, come on.", Tim suddenly said, looking into my direction.

“Don't put her in the middle of this, it's just about the two of us."

I didn't know what to do. The problem was that now I needed to tell the truth... I had to break Tim's heart, to admit that I didn't love him and that I've never loved him, and that I couldn't marry him, because I love someone else, and that the other was Tom.  
The moment had come. I had to choose which side to take.  
As I thought about what to do, he pushed Tom against the wall. He tried to punch him, but Ellis, skillfully, avoided him, in return, however, he managed to hit him. Tim brought a hand to his face, and precisely on the spot where he received the punch and and after a few moments of hesitation he threw himself like a madman on Tom. They started fighting each other, punching each other, while I didn't knew how to stop them. I tried to call them both back, but neither of them wanted to listen to me. So, I tried to tell the butler to do something to try to separate them, but the old man just looked at me questioningly. And well, sure, if this poor fellow got between those two, I didn't think he would've had the slightest hope of getting out alive.

Everything fell apart when he grabs Tom by the head making it slam violently against the wall. In that instant something clicked in me. I threw myself at Tim with fear getting hurt too but I couldn't care less at that moment.

"Leave him alone!", I ordered him, with great fear that he would hurt him more and more.

Tim, thankfully, listened to my pleas and let him go. I immediately rushed to him and, noticing the wound on his forehead, turned around, pissed to death. However, the sadness I saw in his gaze stopped me from starting to insult him heavily.

"Kate, come to me...", he whispered to me, looking lost.

I shook my head. "Im sorry..."

"So?", he replied with a bitter disappointment painted on his face.

"I love him, and I cannot change this.", I revealed to him with a knot in my throat. "It has always been like this, and it will continue to be."

"But ... you said you loved me!", he he yelled, putting his hands to his head. "Why did you lie to me?"

“You are a fascinating man, and from the first moment I saw you I have considered you one. I misunderstood the feelings of affection I felt towards you. I like you, Tim, but I can't love you."

"You also agreed to marry me!", he yelled again, more angry than ever.

"Yes, I know that...", I replied, lowering my head. "And I'm sorry, for everything. For the harm I'm causing you now, and for all the promises I've made to you that I can't keep."

"Do you think you can live a peaceful life with this bastard? To be able to make all your dreams come true? You don't know what you're getting into, Kate. You will regret this choice!"

Tom then grabbed my hand with the clear intention of attracting my attention. I moved my gaze a little, to meet his, and the intense light that I found there left me breathless.

“Get out of my house now!", Tim yelled at us. "Get out!"

In the end, both of us, did what he asked us to do. And maybe it was better that way. We would have gotten to see his father m another time.  
With those words I said I had already hurt him enough, it was right to leave him alone.  
Hand in hand, Tom and I moved away from the villa, remaining with our mouths closed, until we arrived at the residence of my father. Once there, I immediately went in search of the essential to disinfect the wound on his forehead and, after having found everything he needed, I made him sit down and told him to stay calm. While I helped him with care and attention, his eyes never stopped staring into mine. And that insistent way of staring at me made me lose focus.

"I asked you to be calm..." I reminded him.

"We have the whole house for ourselves, how can I be calm?", he asked slyly.

"How can you think of such a thing right now? I am angry, especially with you."

He brought a hand to my face. "Darling, I really appreciate what you did tonight, you had courage."

“Of course, it takes a lot of courage to decide to ruin your life forever, I agree..."

He drew me to himself, making me sit on his lap. "You chose me...", he reflected.

"Yes, fascinating, right?", I countered, continuing to be sarcastic.

"You won't regret it." he reassured me, bringing his lips close to mine. "And I would like to give you a demonstration right now."

He kissed me, without giving me time to reply. However, the anger hasn't gone away, and this idiot I'm madly in love with would now figure out who he's really dealing with.

I got up dragging him with me, without interrupting that fiery kiss. We arrived at the entrance to the bathroom and his excitement was quickly noticed. As soon as we were close enough to the shower, I immediately pushed him inside and making the ice cold water fall on the man, so as to extinguish his "hot spirits".

"Fuck!", he yelled. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

I remained silent, staring at him with folded arms and with a not at all friendly expression. But my intention to remain tough collapsed the moment I ran my eyes along Tom's chest wet body. And, as if that was not enough, he also took off his shirt, remaining shirtless.

"Now you will tell me everything, the truth, my dear Ellis!", I ordered him, taking charge of the situation.

"Are you crazy?"

"Speak!"

Tom backed away and ended up with his back against the wall of the shower. "If you keep yelling at me, I won't tell you anything."

"Duck, Tom! I chose my side, I chose you! I told him I love you! Don't you think that I can at least know truths that concern me personally? Am I asking too much?"

He sighed raising his eyes. "Good okay. Yes, your father is aware of my true identity, happy?"

"No."

“I work for him. Satisfied?"

"No."

“I played with Juliet to see if she has anything to do with your father's enemies. And she is aware of this too. Are we done now?"

"No!"

Tom sighed once again, and seemed to think about it for a moment before opening his mouth again. "He... He knows that you are his daughter..."

And his latest revelation left me stunned. "What?"

"It was all prepared, we knew you would come. I was aware of the mission they wanted to give you, and so I informed your father..."

"Tou are the mole… The rat everyone talked about...", I reflected aloud. "But… How can this be possible?"

"Yes, in some way...", he said, not at all sure of himself.

"What do you mean with in some way? Are you the traitor or not?"

"Yes.", he he confirmed.

"I can't believe it! You have even betrayed the trust of the former boss, the man who loves you as if you were his son!"

"I feel bad enough because of that on my own, you don't need to lecture me about it too, you know?"

“Just one question... Why?", I asked, closing my eyes, trying to control the immense desire I had to slap him across his face.

"It's simple. To protect you."

"Oh yeah, sure... Fuck that!"

I started to leave the bathroom, once again disappointed by another lie, but Tom prevented me by grabbing me and dragging me back into the shower, together with him. He started the water, as I did a few minutes ago, and I couldn't stop myself from screaming. I tried to kick him but he blocked my leg and I ended up losing my balance. He grabbed me in time, and our faces were so close that we inevitably started kissing, as if nothing had happened at all. He managed to undress me in no time at all, and with the same speed he got rid of the rest of his own clothes.

"No more lies...", I whispered with tears in my eyes.

Tom lowered his head on my chest by depositing warm kisses on my bare skin. However, the pleasure soon outweighed the suffering. I kissed him with keeping a steady hand on his face, as if afraid that he might run away from me. I was aware that some tears have gotten out of my control and were flowing down my cheeks. Tom realized it and picked one up, and then brought a hand up to gently caress my face, in an attempt to reassure me.   
Soon, the tears disappeared entirely, leaving room for waves of pure pleasure.  
And we kept on making out for a very long time. Until, exhausted, we both fell on a bed, where, after a few minutes, we resumed kissing and touching until dawn. 

When, the next morning, I opened my eyes, I found myself in his arms, naked. I smiled watching him sleep with a strange feeling in my stomach. So I turned around to the other side of the room. There I found myself in front of my father, who, with an indecipherable expression on his face, has been staring at us for who knows how long, sitting in his armchair.

"Why in my bed?" , he asked, in a tone of voice that I didn't quite know how to define.


	38. Chapter 37

I thought I had finished the collection of the most embarrassing moments of my life by now, but apparently I was wrong. Was there anything more embarrassing than what I was experiencing back then? I tightened the blanket to my body, not knowing what to say in my defense while he continued to stare at me with an indecipherable expression on his face, waiting for me to open my mouth. Suddenly, however, the man next to me started to move and grumbled something incomprehensible.

"Darling, what's going on?", he asked, drawing me to him.

Not hearing any response from me, he decided to open his eyes to know the reason for my sudden silence.

"Well, hello there.", he greeted him smiling. "How are you doing?"

“I'd like to be alone with her for five minutes, if you don't mind."

Tom nodded, as if nothing had happened. Then, he brought his hand to my face, forcing me to turn towards him. "No good morning kiss?"

"You'll have to wait for that.", I told him in a low voice.

"But I want it now.", he insisted and approached me.

“Not … in front of him."

"Come on, he saw us sleeping in his bed after a night of us having sex together, and you are having trouble with a little kiss?"

My eyes widened in horror as my father began to clear his throat across the room.  
I took a deep breath, and counted to ten before deciding not to slap him across his face.

"Just get out..."

But he, stubborn as he was, decided to get that damn kiss, without giving me time to say or do something. He smiled, somewhat satisfied, then took away the blanket and got up walking towards the door. I hid my face in enormous embarrassment, not daring to look up at my father. As soon as I heard the door close, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Well, we certainly can't say he's a man without balls."

And that statement from my father managed to make me relax a bit more. I smiled, unable to restrain myself and saw him do the same.

"Jayne... Or if you want me to use your real name, Kate... I have to talk to you about some things.", he started to say, after a few seconds of hesitation.

“I already know … everything."

He didn't seem surprised at all. "Was it Tom? Oh, that boy! He knows his business."

“I forced him … to tell me the truth. But I would also like to hear your truth..."

He simply nodded.   
“You know, earlier, as I watched you sleep, memories surfaced in my mind. Many years ago… A man and a woman, just like you two, and in that same bed, loved each other..."

A shiver was running through my back. I tightened the blankets even more to my body, seized by more of those sudden shivers.

"I remember, as if it was yesterday, the day when in the garden of this villa I lost myself absolutely, in that woman's eyes. We had a watchdog once, and that day I heard him bark insistently. I left the house and I ran like crazy to see what was happening. And it happened … something truly unexpected. A woman literally jumped on me. I managed to hold her in time and close to me. She was scared, for sure the dog had scared her enough, but ... as soon as we looked at each other, eye to eye, everything around us stopped making sense..."

"Go on, please...", I managed to say trembling.

“In just a flash, she managed to upset my existence. In a short time I completely lost my mind for her, and she for me, we could no longer repress that immense desire we felt for each other, even if she was younger than me... Then, she revealed to me that she was from the FBI, that this was her first mission, and that she had failed miserably, because she had fallen in love with me at that very moment... I won't hide from you that that revelation didn't upset me, but ... I never wanted to have anything to do with what my father did. I'm his son, yes, but that doesn't mean I'm the same as him. I asked to leave our "business", I left everything and everyone, my father told me that I was dead for him. And she too … to my regret, she had to suffer a lot, everyone turned their backs on her, didn't want to know her anymore, all ... except one."

"Let me guess? His first name is Tim?", I asked with a smile.

"Tim?", he replied. "He has always and only tried to divide us, to take her away from me. He filled her head with things about me, so many times he managed to get her away from me. He was in love with your mother, and he couldn't accept the fact that she loved me, and that she would never love him."

"And who hasn't turned his back on her?"

“A man, one of those who can only get into trouble and that's it. Whose son then became the man who, a little while ago, got out of that bed.", he pointed out.

"Tom's father? But...", I asked with a sigh and tears in my eyes.

"When I met him he said to me: 'I like you more than that asshole who's my boss.' Yes, it was his father.", he chuckled and I followed him. "Your mother liked him, they were like brother and sister, he helped her in training and tried to protect her as best as he could. He was a grumpy man, but he behaved differently with us, and later ... you were born."

I saw his eyes getting bright, as well as mine. He stood up, going towards me, while I could no longer control the tears, which went down my cheeks. He sat down next to me on the bed and took my hands in his, and he did it all shaking and with a certain fear.

"Kate… You were the best gift she could have given me. I loved you from the first moment you opened your eyes, and I have continued to love you for all these years, in which I thought you were dead, along with your beloved mother."

And at the height of despair I threw my arms around his neck holding him tightly to me, for all the times I have not been able to do it in the recent years.

"When I discovered that … Tom's father had saved you and brought you to another family, I wanted to kill him with my bare hands...", he continued, letting himself give in to the tears. "I chased him for months, I wanted to kill him. Then, some time ago Tom showed up at my house and wanted to beat him to death for what his father did..."

"No!", I exclaimed, dissolving the embrace. "He... He just tried to protect me..."

"I know, child, I know...", he reassured me, bringing his fingers to my face to dry my tears. "After all I could not understand why he let himself be beaten by me without lifting a finger for the mistake his father did. And then he told me about you. I noticed he had a weird smile on his face, and after all those pain he'd taken, I couldn't understand why he was smiling. It came naturally to me to ask him ... if he was in love with you."

"So?", I asked blushing.

“He didn't answer. So I assumed yes. He is in love with you. And those news shocked me even more."

"I... I... I know, it seems strange, but ... I can't explain how it happened, I've known Tom since I can remember, I've always had a crush on him, then I grew up and he reappeared in my life, and ... I didn't know anything about this whole story!"

"You know, at first his father didn't want to know about picking you up. Your mother insisted one day and he gave in. As soon as he put you in his arms… What can I say... I was angry but I knew you would be safe. You smiled at him. It was the first time we saw him so ... lost. And it's curious that, now, when Tom looks at you, he does it too, in a different way than his father, sure, but it's still something fantastic."

"Do you really mean that?", I asked, with my heart in my throat.

"Yes… But next time, avoid doing it in my bed, please."

I hugged him again making him jump. And to think that recently he was my number one enemy? But I was only told a lot of nonsense from the beginning. He was probably the only one who told me the truth in this whole story. I still had to know a lot of things about the past and about my mother's murder, the mission didn't end there. I chose my side, I left Tim, I found my father, but now we had to go ahead and get over this whole thing.

"Just one thing...", he suddenly said. "Are you sure that he is the right man for you?"

"Well, you were the right man for my mother."

He chuckled. "Did you have to be so much like her? It's crazy how, years later, history repeats itself."

"I didn't know he would be...", I revealed to him with a smile. "But I started to love him when I also discovered his dark side. And it doesn't scare me."

“You're the only one who can tell, he could never hurt you. In return, however, he would hurt anyone who does hurt to you. I am encouraged to know that you have a man next to you, ready to protect you from everything and everyone."

"What about Juliet?", I asked, remembering her.

"She… She's one of the many mistakes I've made in my life, but ... this mistake gave me your brother, so it wasn't that bad."

"I want to know why Tom has to fool around with that woman!", I exclaimed, making my father jump.

“Well, he started that with her to get information about me from her. Then, my right hand man discovered them and..."

"And Tom killed him?"

"No.", he replied surprised. "Of course not. He is currently somewhere else because of the business."

"And what happened?", I asked.

“I started hunting him, but not because of Juliet. I knew when I married her that she was a cheater of the worst kind. However, she also moved mountains to find him. And at that time, I had other people on my heels too who wanted to kill me AND him, for different reasons."

"He's a real troublemaker...", I muttered.

"No, just a double agent. It's his nature, what do you expect?"

“I never know if what he says is true or not..."

“After our clarification a few months ago, we made a pact. He chose betrayal, to help me, to figure out who it is that wants to kill me, to get into far worse trouble than he was already involved in, and all of this … for you."

"He is unbelievable!"

"He loves you."

"Maybe...", I said, looking down.

He took a deep breath, before bringing his fingers to my face. "What are you so afraid of?"

“I… I'm afraid he can't.", I sighed raising my eyes. "Sometimes, I think about everything he does for me, and what he is willing to do, and I have no doubt that he loves me, but sometimes it feels so distant..."

"Kate, I never told your mother I love her.", he suddenly revealed, lowering his gaze as if he was ashamed of what just came out of his mouth. "I didn't need to tell her because I was loving her with all of myself that she didn't need to hear it. She already saw it. But I still regret it today, for not being able to open my heart more to her. Perhaps, with the passage of time I would have found that courage, but ... it didn't let me."

“So what you want to tell me is that even if it doesn't seem like it sometimes, he really love me?"

“Everyone has their own way of loving, sweetie."

He was right. However, this was a strange first conversation between father and daughter who literally just met and confronted each other with their true selves...

"Love is the only thing that scares us.", he continued, interrupting my reflection. "He is afraid of hurting you, he is afraid that something will happen to you, he is afraid of losing you. And he is also afraid of not being able to give you all the love you deserve."

"These are just your guesses, though."

“No.”, he replied. “He confessed them to me himself one evening."

I was stunned. "How? Did you drug him or what?"

He seemed quite amused. "He was drunk, yes. But since that evening I understood many things about him. And you should too. Get to know him well, maybe he's not as hard and cold as you believe he is. Have patience with him. You have to teach him what it means to love, in small doses."

"I could have married a prince, and went with him to live in his castle… But I'm so stupid that I preferred the pirate without a damn boat."

My father became serious all of a sudden. "Yes, I know what you're referring to. Tom was very upset about how things went during his absence. You and that man, together... I already told you that the man was in love with your mother, and suddenly he says he is in love with you? It is as if he relives that times of many years ago..."

“Tim must have suffered a lot too.”, I interrupted him. “However, if he was really in love with my mother, and she didn't love him back, it must have hurt him a lot. And I can't blame him if he saw her in me again. Because it means that that story must have marked him in the depths of his soul."

"I still don't like that." he continued.

"Hell! I'm starting to think I'm in love with my dad's spitting copy!", I commented ironically.

He bursted out laughing, but his eyes soon filled with tears. "When you got here, you don't know how much I had to suffer to pretend not to know you were my daughter. As soon as I saw you I felt like I would faint. I wanted to hug you, hold you tight to me, tell you that it wasn't my fault, but things had to unfold in a certain way. You didn't have to know anything."

"What nonsense...", I muttered, putting a hand to my forehead.

After the long conversation with my father, I reflected on everything we have said while I got dressed. And I focused on one detail: With him, I didn't feel uncomfortable, neither the first time, nor a moment ago, when we spoke with an open heart. He's my father. While I will always love my adoptive parents, nothing will change with them, and when this mission would ends, I'd go and tell them how important they have been to me, and that they always will be.


	39. Chapter 38

I was so cheerful and hopeful that I just couldn't help walking around the house with a big smile on my face. I went out into the garden, looking for a particular person, and I saw that person standing there, looking at something. I threw my arms around his neck, catching him by surprise, yet he did not move a muscle, he remained in the same position as before, while I leaned my head against his back, clinging tightly to his body.

"Why didn't you dodge? You're starting to miss out, my dear Ellis."

“You move worse than a Rookie, darling. I knew you were behind me."

"I'm starting to think that being a agent is not for me.", I said ironically.

He didn't open his mouth and I realized that I must have probably bothered him. I tried to loosen the embrace, but all of a sudden he stopped me.

"Don't...", he ordered me. "I like being hugged by you."

I smiled surprised. "Oh, okay. As you want."

"Well? Have you talked to your father?"

"Yes, it's all cleared up.", I answered happily. "But there are so many things I still need to know. The important thing is that I have confirmed that he is a good man. You know, he told me about you too and your father as well..."

"And ... what did he tell you?"

"That I must have patience. And that he understood, almost immediately, that you were in love with me, just by listening to you speak."

"He talked too much.", he commented annoyed.

I laughed, imagining everything my father had told before.

"He definitely talked too much.", he went on, stiffening.

I took a few steps to be able to stay in front of him. He's wearing sunglasses, which prevented me from being able to immerse myself in those eyes. So I raised my hands to his face, intending to take them off. He let me do it, however he's nervous, and I didn't understand why. On tiptoe, I put my lips on his, at the same time moving the sunglasses so that I could finally look him in the eye.

“You really chose me...", he reflected aloud. "I didn't dream it..."

I shook my head, giggling. "Don't tell me you still have doubts about it? You who is always so sure of yourself."

“I'll always be very insecure about this, you know."

"But where did the Tom end up I got to know?", I asked ironically.

"He's an idiot.", he replied with a slight smile.

"Your 'becoming an idiot' is the same as 'he fell in love' by any chance?"

He looked at me for a few seconds with an indecipherable expression painted on his face. Then, all of a sudden, he bursted out laughing. "Maybe."

“That's why you didn't want to. You were afraid of … becoming an idiot.", I reflected. "Out of curiosity, when did you start feeling like an idiot? And have you always been one, or have you just recently become one?"

I kissed him again, gently, and he seemed to melt more and more. “I'm so happy to have found my father. But I'm even happier to know he's not the bad person everyone's talking about."

"I'm happy for you, you deserve all this happiness."

“He informed me that Johnny and Juliet had to take a short trip somewhere, so they will be back in a week. I'm so sorry for little Johnny. I can't wait to hug him again. He's my brother..."

"Why … don't you stop talking and let me kiss you?"

"Maybe… But I have things to do. My father asked me to help him, and I would like to."

"All right. That's right, yes... He hasn't seen you for many years, and you certainly won't even remember that short time you lived with your real parents, so it's only right that you spend time with him."

"Tonight we will have dinner together.", I informed him, repeatedly brushing his lips. "And I don't want to hear a no."

"Are you sure that … you don't want to be alone with him? Look, I'm not offended if-..."

"I want you by my side, Tom.", I whispered on his mouth. "I want you both by my side."

"I'll be there.", he finally agreed.

"You seem nervous...", I noted with concern. "Is something in particular troubling you?"

"No… It's nothing. I have to rearrange ideas, and figure out what to do."

"About what?", I asked, without understanding.

“Well… It's something I am really unprepared for. But I won't answer any of your other questions right now, darling. Now go, and do your thing."

Before leaving, I gave him an endless series of last kisses.  
I expected a day to spend with my father. First, he asked me for a small favor: To return to my true appearance. To tell the truth, this request had filled my heart with joy. I could no longer look in the mirror and see myself blond and all that stuff which was not me. Not to mention the types of clothing I was forced to wear. I wondered what sense all this made if, after all, my father already knew me. There were so many things I still had to understand, and if I didn't stop thinking, my head would have exploded. And it was not exactly the right time to feel bad, since, fortunately, my father and I could have a second chance, after many years in which we both ignored the existence of each other. And behind all this was Tom and his father, who to protected me and made everyone believe I was dead. I did not know the reasons yet that forced him to such an action, but I was sure he did not act without one. I hoped he would tell me, one day, why his father took me away from everything and everyone.  
  
After a whole day, hanging around with my father, laughing and joking, as if those distant years had never existed, I prepared myself with attention and care for tonight's dinner. My hair has returned to its original color and, finally, I could say goodbye to those stupid and unbearable contact lenses.

As soon as I stepped into the hall, I felt a shiver running down my spine. Tom and my father, intented on talking, turned towards me at the same instant, and Tom's face changed radically. I too remained to observe him, as if enchanted, and only my father's gesture of clearing his throat and hitting Tom's arm made us both return to reality. Seeing that Ellis remained still, without deciding to come to me, my father approached me.

"You have your mother's eyes.", he said moved. "Beautiful..."

He took me by the hand and dragged me towards Tom. He was kinda awkward, did nothing but put his hands in his pockets and, when we were practically facing each other, he started to smile tenderly. Then, he finally went over and put his lips on the corner of my mouth.

"You look good.", I complimented him.

"You too.", he continued, biting his lip. "You are finally back to what you used to be."

I would've liked to keep talking and telling him how beautiful he was, but the words died in my throat. We continued to contemplate each other again, as if time had stopped, as if there was nothing else around, just the two of us. I felt something new, something strange, something I've never felt before. It's like everything had changed. Tom looked at me with different eyes, and did nothing but lower his gaze, as if intimidated by mine. And the way he smiled at me was wonderful.

During dinner, my father and I did nothing but laugh and joke, like two old friends, while Tom only said a few things. He's pretty nervous, and his eyes didn't let go of me for a second. I realized that he was obviously sweating, for sure he was upset about something in particular.

"Tom...", my father called him. "All you do is putting your hands in your pockets, what's wrong with you? Are you hiding something from us?"

His expression suddenly changed, becoming pure fear. "Me? I… I don't hide anything... Everything is alright."

"Are you sure?", my father insisted, as if to make him open his mouth at all costs. "Talk forward."

Tom shook his head repeatedly. "No, I don't… I have nothing to say, really. Go ahead. I'll leave."

He got up and walked away, without giving me time to say something. I looked at him questioningly, unable to understand his behavior. He was so cute and sweet, and then … he literally ran away.

"Can you explain to me why he does this?", I asked my father, resting my elbows on the table and holding my head in my hands.

He simply laughed. "But didn't you see how nervous he was? It was too funny."

"Could you stop laughing? Please tell me what's wrong with him?", I begged him.

"He feels 'bad'.", he informed me, continuing to chuckle. "Just love sickness, don't worry. It will pass. Butterflies in the stomach. Fear of saying the wrong thing. Stuff like that, you know."  
  
After dinner, as I walked to my room, I felt someone grabbing my hips and, a moment later, I found myself with my back to the wall and Tom's body pressing against mine. He kissed me passionately by sliding his hands over my butt, then making me lift my legs to push me even more against him. That kiss became more and more sweet and slow, until he detached from my lips, starting to smile and look at me like never before.

"I was wondering if ... tomorrow night ... you would like to go out with me..."

"Wh-what?", I asked in amazement.

“It's … a date, yes. It's weird, I know. But ... would you go out with me?"

"Of course, yes!", I exclaimed, throwing my arms around his neck.

Tom bursted out laughing. "Okay, okay. Now, I'm sorry, but I have to go. I have things to attend to, and I'm already late..."

I let him go, reluctantly, and he, a moment before leaving, gave me a quick kiss on the lips, then turned his back on me and continued his way down the hall.

"Hey, Ellis!", I yelled his last name to make him turn around to me.

"Darling?", he said turning around, with a smile as beautiful as ever.

“Thank you for the story you are giving me."

I think he didn't understood at first, but, before turning around again, he put his hand to his lips and blew me a kiss.

I started humming. However, the very moment I stepped inside the room, I noticed that something was wrong. The window was open and I immediately wanted to close it, but, even before I got to the window, someone behind me wrapped my body into it's arms and putting a handkerchief in front of my mouth. At first, I tried to free myself from the grip, but a moment later, I lost consciousness.


	40. Chapter 39

I couldn't understand where I was. I felt an incredible pain in my wrists and ankles. Slowly I opened my eyes finding myself in a place unknown to me. My vision was still blurred and I couldn't focus well. I didn't need long to realize I was tied up, and slowly I remembered what happened last night. As I walked into my room I was grabbed from behind by someone. I didnt remember anything else. Just before, Tom had asked me out on a date. It seemed like a dream, and then a nightmare started. Would it be someone who wants to hurt Tom? Or my father? I was kidnapped, and for sure there was a valid reason.

Finally I had a clearer view of the environment around me. I realized I was in a kind of basement, with no windows. Fortunately, I didn't suffer from claustrophobia, yet this didn't situation was no good. My whole body was aching, due to the position in which I was forced to stay. Suddenly the door opened and, from there, I saw a man enter, tall, robust and strong. He looked at me for a while, as if he didn't know what to do. I was willing to bet that this man did not know what to do with me, he would probably have been commissioned by someone else to kidnap me and, now, he found himself here not knowing what to do with me at all.

“You were just a child when I last saw you.", he started. "Miss Jackson."

"I... You know me?" I asked, in order to get a better look at his face.

“ I'm no one important, and you sure can't remember me. But I was once important to your father."

"Important? Are you my father's right hand man?", I asked completely shocked. "Why did you kidnap me?"

"I only follow orders.", he replied, without adding anything else.

"Did my father ask you to kidnap me?", I asked again, at the height of exasperation. "And what the hell is the meaning of all this?"

“I'm not inclined to answer your questions."

"Wait!", I tried to stop him, but the man seemed to have not the slightest intention to listen to me.

He left the room leaving me alone again. And I was really starting to lose my temper. What's this about my father's right hand man kidnapping me? And what does my father have to do with all this? I hoped with all my heart that I have not been fooled for the umpteenth time and I couldn't help but cry, unfortunately the tears were beyond my control and there was no way to stop them. I didn't want to think it was all a lie, and that everything what my father told me was false. I couldn't help but believe my father and the story he told me. His words were true, as were his tears. I could see in his eyes all the love he felt for my mother, and eyes never lie... No, he didn't deceive me. Then who? Tom? No matter how many lies he told me, I didn't think this was his game. However, I thought both my father and Tom were trying hard to find me by now. Yes, for sure. There was no doubt. In the meantime, I would have to try to free myself somehow. I remembered that, in training with Tim, I experienced such a situation. I hoped that, at least in this situation, those three months could help me, since up to now they have not helped me a lot. I was starting to think that Tim hasn't prepared me for any of the dangers I would have to overcome. Even though that training period managed to change me, to make myself more confident, my skills as a agent missed a lot to be desired. Probably because, normally, such training takes years, and not just three months.

We got it all wrong. I was by no means ready to go on a mission, and I was thankful that Tom was by my side, otherwise I didn't dare to imagine what I would have done.

I looked around, determined to get out. At least once I had to do it alone. I couldn't stand here, waiting for someone to come and save me. Unfortunately, I didn't see anything that could've helped me break free from these strings. They were also so tight that they prevented me from moving. I didn't even know what time it was, damn it! And to think that today, my first date with Tom was waiting for me. All of this was unfair, absolutely... I have been waiting for this moment for centuries and, because of who knows who, I would not be able to fulfill this dream!

I took courage and, closing my eyes, I used all my strength in an attempt to free myself from the ropes, at least those at the wrists. However, suddenly the door opened again and from there I saw a guy with his face covered. I remained motionless, as if petrified, and started to pray that it is not someone who wanted to kill me. Suddenly he came towards me and, unexpectedly, was bending down to free my wrists and ankles.

“Stay calm, honey. You don't have to worry about anything anymore. I'm with you now."

Tim?

He took the hood off his face, and I officially saw that it was him. I was quite amazed by this unexpected, how sudden, turn of events. I remained speechless for a few moments, taking all the time to realize the fact that the man who came to my rescue was not Ellis, but Tim.

" Tim?", I asked, probably looking lost. "What are you doing here?"

"Are you really asking me that?", he replied, rolling his eyes. "I came to save you, Kate!"

"And ... why you? I thought you hated me after what happened."

"Yes, I thought so too.", he reveald in a serious tone. "But as soon as I knew you were in danger, the world collapsed around me. You are too important to me, and no ... I don't hate you. How could I hate you?"

"I hurt you...", I continued, remembering the words that I slammed in his face. "And I'm so sorry..."

"I know, honey.", he whispered, bringing a hand to my face. "But I forgive you. I love you too much to bear a grudge."

"Thank you... You know, I was starting to lose hope. Besides, I don't even understand where they took me. In this room it's all dark, there are no windows or anything, just a door. Earlier, a guy walked in and told me he was my father's right hand man. Do you know something about this? He told me he's just following orders. But I do not understand..."

He sighed frowning. "Kate, I told you that neither your father nor Ellis could be trusted. But you're so stubborn, damn you."

"What... What do you mean?"

“That was their plan from the start. And you fell right into it.", he revealed to me, leaving me stunned.

"No… That's not true! You're lying!"

"Kate, listen to me! Why do you think neither of them came to save you? Huh? Why did I come? Could you answer me that?"

"Please, stop!", I begged him. "Why do you persist in filling me with lies? Do you enjoy making fun of me so much? "

"I've never lied to you...", he said firmly.

"Oh, no? You were in love with my mother!", I accused him, pointing the finger at him.

“Okay, I confess. I was in love with her.", he admitted. "But I was young, I misunderstood the affection I felt for her, I thought it was love, and when she got together with your fathet I even hated her for a while. Only later did I realize that I wasn't really in love with her. Kate, believe me when I tell you that since the first moment I saw you, I have completely lost my mind for you. It's not a lie..."

"I don't know who the fuck to believe!", I yelled with my nerves on the edge. "Everyone tells me his version of events, and I don't understand anything anymore!"

“Honey, you have to trust me."

“That's what everyone's telling me!", I exclaimed at the limit of endurance. "How can you still ask me to trust you? When none of you have thought, even just once, to be honest with me! You filled me with lies! Only lies!"

Tim hugged me, leaving me breathless. "Whoever has filled you with lies from the beginning is just one person, and you know very well who I'm talking about."

At that moment, I was about to add something else, but he stopped me in time by bringing a hand to my mouth.

"I hear footsteps.", he whispered. "Go back to the position where I found you."

I did as he said, while he positioned himself behind the door, so as to surprise anyone who entered. And the door opened. I kept my eyes on the ground, with a lot of fear. It's the right hand man again. However, this time, he didn't even have time to open his mouth, as Tim grabbed him by the shoulder and pointed a gun to his temple.

"If you don't want me to blow your brain out, tell us who you work for.", he threatened, just before he kicked the door shut.

“Okay, okay.", he said quickly. "But don't kill me, I have family."

"This only depends on you..."

"I work ... for ... her father."

I got up, determined to investigate the matter thoroughly.

"Why did you kidnap me?", I asked with a threatening tone.

"It was him who ordered it, he said the situation had become too dangerous for you, and that sooner or later you would discover the truth.", he confessed, trembling. "He... He does know who killed your mother... He just didn't want you to get into that mess... This had to look like a real kidnapping don't you understand!"

For a few moments I stopped breathing. Everything stopped making sense. Even my own life. And my head… My head begged me to stop thinking, my ears to stop listening, and my mouth refused to make any sound.

"Are you telling the truth?"

"Yes, I swear!", the man exclaimed. "He didn't want to kill her, this is for saving her! It all happened because he has always hidden some things, and when her mother found out everything, then they had a little fight but nothing serious! But, that day, they weren't alone and the irreparable happened..."

"Who... Who was there?", I asked, eager to shed light once and for all about the whole thing.

"It was-...", he started to confess, but suddenly fell to the ground, dead.

"I'm sorry.", Tim apologized. "But that's not the way this works."

I collapsed to the ground, tears running incessantly down my cheeks. Slowly I felt my strength abandoning me and my eyesight became blurred. It was as if I lost contact with the world. My breathing was irregular, drops of sweat fell to the floor mixed with the blood from that man which I was covered in, and my eyelids became so heavy that it was impossible for me to keep them open.  
I lost consciousness, under the effect of who knows what...

The last thing I remembered were noises and that someone loaded me into a car, and I, still in that state, was taken away by a person who, when I opened my eyes, I hardly believed was next to me.


	41. Chapter 40

“We have to hurry!", Tom continued to shout. "They have already sent us on the wrong track, those damn pieces of shit!"

“Calm down, Tom. We will find my daughter again, do not worry."

"I don't want to lose her!", he continued, impatient to arrive in time.

"Why didn't you tell her you love her?", the man suddenly asked.

Tom was silent, keeping his gaze fixed on the road in front of him, unable to find the right words to answer. Or maybe, things were simpler than they wanted to seem.

“Because I really love her. That's why."

The man smiled. "I love you more than words can wield the matter; dearer than eye-sight, space, and liberty..."

"Shakespeare?"

“Her mother loved it."

"I think Kate should start reading it, then.", Tom commented sarcastically.

“Or you could find a little courage and say these words to her yourself, and you'll make her happy..."

“You know, I really want to act like a normal man, in the sense of having a relationship with her like any other, and I wanted to start today. I asked her out, but it all went to hell."

"We will find her again. And then, you can."

“I swear I tried to get her out of my head. When I started to have feelings for her I wanted to get her away from me, but I couldn't. I always found her in front of my eyes. I kissed her because … I couldn't resist anymore. And then I ran away, you know? Like a damn coward."

“But then you came back."

“If I just think about it, I get goosebumps from … all those emotions that she managed to make me feel, and that I didn't even know I could feel..."

“Yes, but... Don't start talking about the other things with me, I'm … the father...", he reminded him. "I was kind enough the other day when I saw you naked in my bed. Don't make it worse, boy."

"Look! This is the place."

The two got out of the car, looking around very carefully and suspiciously. The man told Tom to go check the back of the building while he searched the front. The fact that that place appeard apparently deserted made both of them very suspicious.

"Stop!", someone suddenly said from behind. Kate's father turned around cautiously and found himself in front of the man whom he had waited for years to be face to face with again.

“Tim... You will pay for what you did. She was never yours!"

"Oh yes she was. Before you took her away from me. However, now I can get my revenge."

"Where is my daughter?", he asked with his heart pounding in his chest. "If you've hurt her, I swear you won't get away with it this time!"

"Are you talking about Kate? Don't worry, she's in good hands. Away from you. Away from Ellis.", Tim replied confidently. "And you know what? I am tired of you. Both of you have done nothing but give me problems.", he continued. "So I think it's time to say goodbye, don't you think?"

"I say it's better to go back to looking after my daughter than to stay here, wasting my time with you!"

He turned his back on him and the sound of a shot reached his ears when he felt a terrible pain in his back. He let out a desperate cry of pain, but he didn't give up. He turned around once again to the man who pulled the trigger, in an attempt to take revenge, however, another bullet hit him straight in the stomach. He too then tried to raise his gun, in the direction of his enemy, but Tim pulled the trigger a third time and the man fell to the ground on his knees.  
Those shots immediately reached Tom's ears, who didn't even thought twice about going back, with the bitter presentiment that something had happened.  
Kate's father's body was in front of his eyes, on the ground, and Tom started cursing desperately with rage.

"What the hell happened?"

"You must … save her. Tom... Please, my daughter..."

"You'll be fine, don't worry. I promise you!"

"No!", he stopped him immediately. "There ... there's nothing to do ... for ... me. Do ... what ... I told you."

"Who was it?"

"You... You know who...", he replied. "Please … save … Kate. And ... tell her that ... that ... I ... always ... loved her."  
After those words the man closed his eyes.

Tom, blinded by rage, starts shooting madly at the sky. He gives vent to all his pain with a scream that embodies a mixture of emotions.

“He'll pay for it! I swear he will pay for it!"

~

I collapsed to the ground bringing my knees up to my chest to rest my head on them. Around me was only darkness, and the bitter awareness of having been abandoned for the umpteenth time. Alone, in the middle of it, I would never be able to find the way out. I needed a light that can guide me.

I needed someone I can trust.

I opened my eyes still feeling dizzy, and the first thing I saw was the glimpse of a figure. Slowly I became aware that it was a woman.

“Finally you're awake, Kate. We were getting worried."

I blinked several times, incredulous to hear those words coming from that woman.

"Juliet?", I asked upset. "What ... do you want from me?"

“Don't worry, I'm with Tim. You're in good hands, we saved you, don't you remember?"

I shook my head repeatedly in an attempt to remember what had happened. Then everything came back. I remembered the kidnapping, Tim coming to help me, and the confused words of a certain man. But before I could open my mouth, someone bursted into the room.

"Tim!", I exclaimed, getting up and running towards him.

He looked shocked. “Honey, a terrible thing has happened."

"W-what?", I asked, my heart beating faster and faster. "What happened?"

"Your father..."

"What happened to him!"

“He got killed."

He managed to grab me, before I could fall to the ground from the sudden feeling of weakness in my knees.

“How… How… And why?", I asked, clinging to his body. "Tell me it's a joke! Tell me that's not true!"

"I'm sorry...", he whispered in my ear, holding me tightly to him.

I had no more tears, no words, nothing. I felt empty, heartless, lifeless.

"Who did it?", I dared to ask, detaching myself from him.

"They say there was a fight, a-..."

"Tell me who did it!"

Tim got angry and, only after a few moments of unbearable silence, decided to give me an answer.

"It was Ellis."


	42. Chapter 41

It was difficult for Tom to explain what he was feeling.  
He couldn't save Kate's father, he saw him die in front of him. And, as if all of this wasn't enough already, they've managed to make her believe that he was his real killer.  
He thought life gave him another chance to be happy, but he was wrong. Everyone was hunting him, even the FBI. 

Tom had been hiding for days, without reacting, doing nothing to get out of trouble, unable to do anything to save Kate. The idea that she might hate him drove him crazy. But maybe that's what he deserved? He tried to push away the love he had always felt for her, he played with her feelings, he abandoned her, and only now he realized it. Only now did he realize that he loves her, as he never loved anyone before, and as he will not love anyone else.

He suddenly heard suspicious noises and started thinking he had been discovered. So he picked up the gun, trying to keep calm, and took small steps towards the half-open door, which he remembered very well being closed a few minutes ago. Tom felt a presence behind him and turned around abruptly, pointing the gun at anyone. And he was totally amazed when he found Shawn in front of him, quickly dropping the gun, cursing.

"Calm down. I'm not here for what you think.", he tried to reassure him.

"How did you find me?"

"I know you well enough to predict your moves.", Shawn informed him, looking around in amazement. "And I didn't really foresee this move of yours..."

"What do you mean?"

"You hiding on the roof of an old abandoned building?"

"Are you surprised?"

"Yes. Because the agent I know, would be out there by now, getting himself out of trouble, and saving the woman he loves."

"Maybe you don't know him that much.", Tom said, trying to be ironic.

"Ellis, she needs you!"

But Tom gave him his back, without reacting. He didn't know what happened inside of him, what triggered it, maybe her father's death, or failing to save her, or that she probably want to see him dead now.

"I do not believe in what the boss says.", Shawn admitted. "None of us believe that you are the real murder. Neither of her father nor her mother."

"What?", Tom asked, not understanding. "What does her mother have to do with all this?"

Shawn took a deep breath, before opening his mouth again. "They're brainwashing that poor girl, and she'll probably be under the influence of some ... medicine...", he informed him, clenching his fists. "They're making her believe that you are the killer of her parents. And that you had the task of killing her too."

“She hates me. What can I do? Do you understand that I can't handle such a situation? I'm afraid to look her in the eye and see nothing but contempt and hatred."   
He closed his eyes trying to remember that sweet way she had of kissing him.  
"I… I fell in love. For the first time in my life, I really care. And I'm afraid of losing it forever."

"That's just one more motivation to win."

"What if I can't?", he asked, more to himself than to Shawn. "What if I don't arrive in time? It has happened too many times before. I failed. This has never happened to me before."

"Go and take back what yours, damn it!", he said, raising his arms. "We stand by your side!"

"Who else?", Tom asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I called them.", he informed him. "You will need us all."

“You… You didn't really do it, did you?"

He nodded serious. "I had to do it. The clan was your family once."

"Once, exactly!", he exclaimed, with a mad desire to punch him. "Ten years have passed since everyone has taken his own path. You shouldn't have called them!"

"Tom! Do you understand that the situation is more serious than it may seem? It's not just about Kate! There is much more at stake! Our boss and his father too, are not who I thought!"

"And you only realized it now?", he teased, annoyed.

“I and everyone else thought we were working to protect the people, not collaborating with real criminials, pushing the different mafia families to a war against each other now that Kate's father is dead!", he yelled back with anger.

“The world revolves around power and money, my friend. There's shit like that everywhere, you should know that."

"Yes, maybe you are right...", he relaxed, turning his gaze towards the sky. "The question now is: Will you do something, or will you leave him all the glory and, above all ... Kate?"

That made Tom realize one thing: He had won so many battles in the past, but nothing could've compared to the vendetta that was about to begin, because now he had a valid reason, now there was Kate.

He now looked him straight in the eye for a moment that seemed to never end. Then, his lips formed the shape of a smile. "You are right. She is mine. And I'll get her back. They will pay for all the harm they have done."


	43. Chapter 42

I felt like my body was suspended in another dimension. I couldn't get in touch with reality, the real world seemed so far away from where I was.

I got out of the bed, continuing to look around absently, reaching the door of the room, but as soon as I put my hand on the handle, someone anticipated me, and I stepped back to find Juliet in front of me.

"Kate, go back to bed.", she said softly, bringing a hand to my face. "You're still weak."

I let myself be guided by her, without any resistance. It's like my brain went out of order. I just couldn't react. I would've liked to, but I couldn't. Juliet made me lie on the bed, then sat down next to me. She seemed worried, telling me to rest, to regain my strength. But the more the days went by, the more I felt like life was leaving me.

"Tomorrow there will be your father's funeral.", she informed me, continuing to caress my forehead. "You have to get back on your feet."

I nodded, but that news didn't cause me any emotion, while my eyelids were getting heavier and I couldn't keep them up.  
I couldn't feel the difference between day and night anymore.

When I opened my eyes again, instead of Juliet, there was Tim. He looked at me intently, and his expression softened as he realized I woke up.

"Good morning, honey.", he whispered, bringing my hand to his mouth and placing his lips on it. “We have to prepare you. It will be a busy day for you, but you don't have to worry about it. I will not let go of your hand for any reason in the world. I will always be next to you and by your side."

Tim seemed to be my only lifeline. He was close to me, held me in his arms for hours, and filled me with sweet words. He did nothing but repeat to me that he loved me, and told me how much he missed me. I thought I felt something very strong and intense for him, but there was more that I couldn't understand, something that was inside me, hidden, buried who knows where. My heart was trying to make me remember, to bring to light that fundamental detail of my life, but it was as if the darkness enveloped me and prevented me from understanding. I was at the bottom of the ocean and I could no longer resurface.

Tim brought his lips to mine, and that sweet touch caused me to slightly gasp. He drew back, looking at me questioningly and worriedly, while I put my hands to my temples, suddenly feeling a terrible pain in my head. That gesture unleashed something inside me.

“Tim...", I whispered, getting closer. “Could you … do it again?", I asked, surprised by myself to be able to articulate a sentence.

"Are you feeling well?", he asked in turn, bringing his fingers up to caress my face.

I nodded. 

He frowned, giving me the impression that he didn't like it at all. "It's time for your medicine."

"Do I have to … take it?", I asked, taking little by little awareness of what was around me.

"Kate, it's for your own good, we've already talked about it.", he reassured me, approaching me and leaning his forehead against mine. "You'll see that after taking it you'll feel better."

I decided to trust him. He seemed to be the only person in the world to whom I could entrust my heart and my life. However, a moment ago, when he brushed my lips with his own, I felt like something was missing, like I wanted someone else in his place. I closed my eyes, forcing myself to look inside myself, digging into the depths of my soul to catch that detail that I just couldn't remember. But Tim didn't give me the time, trying to get me to take that medicine, and I couldn't help but satisfy him. I swallowed the pill, helping myself with water, and after only a few minutes I started to lose contact with the outside, locking me back into myself.

Tim helped me to get up, holding me tight to his body and being careful not to drop me. He took me to the bathroom and started undressing me. I let him, completely helpless.

"Nobody has to see you but me.", he whispered, looking at my naked body.

He undressed in turn, letting his clothes fall to the floor, and brought our bodies closer, eliminating any kind of distance.

"I need to get inside you..."

An excruciating pain lead me to close my eyes, as I felt his hands grab me by the waist and lift me up to rest my back against the wall. I wanted to scream, to ask him to stop because it hurt too much, but I couldn't, I couldn't move or speak at all. And in that moment, feeling lost like never before, a sweet memory resurfaced in my mind, making it all less terrifying. Suddenly it's as if he disappeared, and his hands were replaced by another man's. However, I couldn't see his face, something prevented me from doing it.

"I love you..." , I whispered, opening my eyes and seeing that illusion vanish.

"I love you too, sweetheart." 

And for the first time, after days of hell, I could finally cry. I clinged my body and soul to the man who continued to push himself inside me, without stopping crying and sobbing. After a some time I managed to feel an emotion, even if what I felt was not among the best things in the world. Pain and despair. I couldn't feel anything else.

Eventually, he put me back down and smiled, wiping the tears from my face. "Hey, are you crying because you're happy?"

I swallowed hard, still trembling. "Yes..."

"You are mine.", he continued, kissing my lips.

I withdrew, and he seemed to be hurt. "Hey, what's wrong? Aren't you feeling good?", he asked thoughtfully, placing his hands on my breasts. "Or do you want me to make you feel good a bit too? We can't now, okay? Now we have to prepare for your father's funeral."

My father… Yes, my father's funeral. My father was dead. He was killed, just as my mother was killed. And only one person was to blame. The same person I remember kissing and making love with. It was the most important detail of my life, a detail that got erased from my memory.

Later in the car Juliet gave me smiles of affection and concern, but once again a cry inside of me made me wonder if I could really trust these people. I couldn't put together the fragments of my memories. How did I even tear them to shreds? How did I destroy them?

We arrive at our destination and, as soon as I stepped out of the car, my heart started beating quickly, as if it went crazy. Tim was right next to me, holding out his arm to help me. But all of a sudden I didn't feel so weak anymore. My lips formed the shape of a smile. Everything seemed so strange to me right now. I was seized by sudden shivers down my spine, as if I felt the presence of someone, or rather, someone's eyes.

His eyes.

I turned around, desperate to search for those eyes. I had to see them. Even just for a moment, but I had to immerse myself in that gaze. I didn't even knew who it was I'm looking for, but I felt like I needed it. To perceive that scent, that breath, even that taste, and it seemed to me that I was going completely crazy.

"Where are you?", I said aloud, with the frustrating helplessness of not being able to find him.

I couldn't understand what was going on when Tim suddenly grabbed me, pushing me and taking me back to the car. I heard gunshots, shattered glass, Juliet yelling at Tim, him ordering the driver to move, men out there shooting, dying, and just before we drove away from it all, I saw those eyes. And I smiled.

"Where are we going?", I asked afraid.

“A vacation, sweetheart. Don't worry.”, Tim reassured me.

"No!", I exclaimed, looking around. "I don't want to!"

Juliet answered right away. "Just take your medicine, honey. You'll see, everything will be fine."

I shook my head, finally regaining strength slowly. "No! I want you to stop this car!"

The woman grabbed me violently by the arm and bended over to speak in my ear. "If you don't take this medicine, you will die. And that's what he wants."

"Who?"

“You know very well who I'm talking about. Do you want Tim to kill him? Take this damn medicine, come on!"

She managed to put it in my mouth, but, at that moment, the car suddenly stopped, making us both crash into the front seats.

"Are you okay?", Tim asked. "We have arrived, get out, go ahead!" 

Juliet dragged me out and, at that point, Tim grabbed me, dragging me towards the airport entrance.

“It's not time to play around, sweetie. There is a flight waiting for us."

Our race against time came to an end all of a sudden. Tim stopped pulling me by the arm, and only after a few seconds I understood why. In front of us was a man, in a beautiful suit. When my eyes went up to meet his, I couldn't help but cling to my arm with emotion.

"Darling...", he greeted me with a smile.

Those fragments, scattered in my mind, regenerated as if by magic. And it all started to make sense.


	44. Chapter 43

And there I was. Scared as Tom had never seen me, but alive. He smiled in front of the scene of me who, seeing him, was clinging to my own arms.

"Give me back what's mine and nobody gets hurt.", Tom warned him.

"Ellis, I advise you to leave, they are coming to get you.", he informed him.

"Give me Kate and I'll go."

“Tom...", Juliet interjected. “You have to go. Or you can't escape this time."

"Shut up, nobody asked for your opinion!", he yelled at her.

"She will never come with you!", Tim attacked him. "Forget it, Ellis!"

"Enough!", I stopped them. "Let me … talk to him for a moment."

"No! Kate, please, let's go."

"Don't worry.", I reassured him. "Just give me a minute."

I looked in the man's direction and, with every step I took towards him, all the strength that was previously in his possession vanished as if by magic.

I stopped, keeping a certain distance. “Have you ever … loved someone so much that... That it forced you to erase their existence?"

He didn't understand what it meant, but from my words and my eyes he read so much pain and disappointment. "Darling, listen, I..."

“No, I no longer want to listen to you...", I anticipated. "I have suffered ... because of you. I wish I'd never ... met you..."

"I know, I was all wrong, but I... I..."

"You, what?", I asked sarcastically. "Please, stop. Leave me alone. We all deserve some happiness, right?"

He remained motionless, paralyzed, unable to articulate any sound.

"Okay...", I said to the other's. "Let's go."

"No... Wait.", Tom said to me, shaking. " Don't ... go."

"We're done.", I concluded, without deigning to glance at him. "Go, or they will get you..."

Tom made a step to meet me, but I raised a hand to let him know that he had to stay where he was. "Go...", I whispered with tears in my eyes. "Save yourself."

"I can't..."

He shook his head again, then took me by the hand, while other FBI agents had now arrived at the airport. He was surrounded and Tim dragged me away and together we disappeared from his sight.

"I love you...", Tom meanwhile whispered to the wind.

He started running, even though he knew he was trapped. On his way he met agents, but he managed to knock them out with a few simple moves. He knew very well that he won't be able to go very. And, just when he thought it'sthe end, a car stopped in front of him and someone dragged him inside.  
The car set off just when he realized that he had been rescued by Juliet.

"Why did you do it?", he asked her.

"Because I once loved you, too."

He laughed at her. "You have not the slightest idea what it means to love."

"You know, I don't mind seeing you like this, reduced to a mess, because that's what you deserve for playing with my feelings."

"That's what I deserve, yes...", he muttered, rolling his eyes.

"She did it for you."

"What?"

"She wanted to save you, Tom.", she made him understand.

In that instant, a familiar sound came to his ears, distracting him from all the chaos that was going on. It's his phone. He took it immediately, convinced it was Tim, laughing at him.

But he recognized the voice of his colleague Shawn. "Come immediately! The plane did not start yet. I have everything under control. The plane is full with ... old friends, you know?"

"Tell your driver to drive me to the plane, and to do so by taking a fast path!", he ordered Juliet.

Once at their destination, he immediately got out of the car to hurry up, before it's too late. Juliet, however, held him back, grabbing him by the arm.

"Do you love her?", she asked point blank.

"Yes."

“Then you should know… I found out everything. Everything. Tim, he's a traitor, he's the mole, I was … so stupid, but, how could I … not trust him?", she paused for a moment, to catch her breath. "He ... allied with the enemy, I don't know their plans but you have to ... do something. I was stupid to help him. Save her. You're the only one who can... Don't let her die like her mother because of him..."

And it was as if a lightning had hit him. The last piece of information she managed to give him was terrible.

Tim killed Kate's mother.

He ran as fast as he could, the door to the plane still open but entering with the fear of being late.

"Hey! Tom...", Shawn whispered, popping up next to him. "Quick, come on! They're sitting in the front. He can't escape, don't worry."

~

Leaning against the window of the plane on which I was traveling, my thoughts could not help but go to Tom all the time when the noise of loading a gun made its sound to my ears right next to me. Several men were standing around me and Tim, holding their weapons to his head while he didn't dare to move.

"Darling..."

I turned around to where to voice was coming from, watching that familiar smirk appear on the man's face.  
I remained still for a few seconds looking at Tom, as if he was sacred, smiling, when he decided to start speaking again:

"I love you more than words can wield the matter; dearer than eye-sight, space, and liberty..."

~ THE END ~


End file.
